


Where Your Mind Wants to Go

by TikyToes



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Bad Flirting, Cat Cafés, Childhood Friends, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Panic Attacks, Unbeta'd, unedited
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-03-27 02:39:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 61,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13871334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TikyToes/pseuds/TikyToes
Summary: “He thought it might be good for me to start…dating.” Kenma formed his words carefully and slowly. Kuroo raised his eyebrows, folding his arms across his chest.“Dating?”“Yeah. Dating.”Kuroo looked troubled. “Are you interested in…dating?”Kenma glanced down at the parking lot, thinking back to the drama that just unfolded. He twisted the toothbrush in his hands carefully. “I’m not sure anymore.” He shrugged, glancing down at a small bruise that was forming on the outside of his leg from the fall. “It’d be nice to have…someone.”





	1. Where the Mind Wants to Go...

**Author's Note:**

> Oh-ho-ho. This isn't my first fanfiction, but my first Haikyuu! and first time posting under AO3 and not fanfiction.net. Let's see how this goes, yeah? Enjoy the ride.

_I'm just being honest, I need time to think_   
_You said let's take a week so we can figure out what we should be_   
_I wonder if you want him, I wonder if we're fake_   
_It's like we're trapped in the feedback, a cycle we can't seem to break_   
_Stuck in contemplation on the interstate_

\- I the Mighty

* * *

Kenma wasn’t sure when it started. Probably sometime in high school. He used to worry that this kind of playing around wasn’t natural between friends. Kuroo kissing down his neck, grinding up after Kenma positioned himself on his lap – he felt so guilty once they were done. Kenma gasped as Kuroo’s arms wrapped tighter around his waist. His head was a little dizzy; it always was when his best friend, and roommate, sucked and bit at a spot just below his adam’s apple.

“Shit, don’t stop” Kuroo groaned, guiding Kenma’s hip up and down in a steady motion. Kenma bit his lip, trying not to make a sound. He both hated and loved dry humping. The added friction of their jeans felt good, but the cleanup was terrible. Still, he would take anything Kuroo was willing to give.

Kuroo’s broad shoulders felt strong and comforting under Kenma’s thin fingers. He was thankful that they managed to at least get their shirts off before starting…whatever this type of game was. Kuroo’s abs were impressive and Kenma liked to trace the hard muscle as Kuroo got close.

“Focus, Kitten,” Kuroo all-but-purred in his ear. “Cum with me.”

Kenma tilted his head and kissed him roughly. Kuroo’s grip on his hips tightened as he sucked his bottom lip. Kenma could feel the white-heat building; like he was being wound up from the inside with every rocking motion. Suddenly, Kuroo was thrusting up against him vigorously and he was coming in his jeans and moaning.

Panting, Kenma leaned back; the grip on his body finally loose. His body felt spent and sticky. Kuroo’s jeans had a wet spot from his own climax. He wrinkled his nose and Kuroo chuckled.

“Ah, that ‘ick’ face of yours is so sexy.”

“Shut up. Is not.”

“Is too.”

“Is not.”

“Is too.”

Kenma sighed, “Is not.” He quickly changed the subject before Kuroo could keep the game going. “Bad day today?” It must have been – Kuroo doesn’t play this game on good days.

“Hm, yeah.” Kuroo said and Kenma shifted off his lap, grimacing at the mess on his jeans. “Kanna spent my whole lunch break being pissed about something stupid.”

Kanna was Kuroo’s almost-girlfriend. Kenma wasn’t sure what she was to Kuroo. They were in the same program at university and had a lot of labs together apparently. Kuroo got into Tokyo University of Science in the pharmaceutical sciences graduate program. Kenma was just happy to be working close by at a cat café and could stay close to Kuroo after high school.

Kanna and Kuroo went on what Kenma assumed were dates occasionally. He’s 98% certain that Kuroo has sex with her too. But he’s never been introduced and Kuroo never brings her to the apartment.

Kenma likes to think of their place as a neutral zone for that reason. Or maybe he just wants to pretend that Kuroo isn’t serious with this woman and wants to be himself with Kenma at home. If he thinks too much about it, he gets worried that Kuroo would actually like to bring Kanna around but is afraid to make him uncomfortable.

He grabs his shirt from the couch, a rare luxury in small apartments in Tokyo but Kuroo’s parents were insistent. “Oh.” He isn’t sure what to say about Kuroo and his girlfriend-not-girlfriend fighting. Kuroo stands up to follow him to the bathroom, already wriggling out of his pants.

“You can shower first.” Kuroo says, his face is unreadable and it scares Kenma. He hates how he can never read Kuroo after they do…whatever it is that they are doing. He hopes his own face is blank too.

After a quick, but sufficient shower, Kenma takes his time in the bath. He sinks down until his mouth is under the hot water and his long hair floats around him like blond tentacles. Unlike his hair, he didn’t grow in height since high school. At 25, Kenma was average and slightly upset that his friends, apart from Hinata, were all taller. He pushed himself to continue going to the gym with Kuroo and Bokuto, just so he could maintain a somewhat lean, muscular appearance.

Kuroo knocked once before opening the bathroom door. “You’re taking a long time.”

“Sorry.” Kenma said, popping his head back above water-level.

“Dinner will be ready soon. Make the rice while I shower.”

Kenma scrunched his nose. Their domestic level intimacy made his stomach ache sometimes.

“Something wrong?”

“No.”

“Do you have a hemorrhoid?”

Kenma’s eyes seemed to snap into focus on Kuroo’s smirking face. His gaze reminded Kuroo of an angry cat, ready to pounce. “No.”

Kuroo let out a snorty-laugh as if it bubbled up out of his chest.

_ _ _

Kenma sat at the booth in the far back of the coffee shop after ordering. Akaashi said he’d meet him at three, so he was a little early. He pulled his phone out of his hoodie pocket, shifting the hood so it draped over his forehead and hid most of his face. He loved this old hoodie – it was Kuroo’s when they were in high school. He gave it to Kenma after hitting his first growth spurt. Kenma liked how large the hood of it was, even though the cat ear shapes on the top were slightly embarrassing.

The barista brought his vanilla latte and an apple turnover right when his village went under siege. He cursed under his breath, fingers furiously clicking against the screen. “Shit,” He muttered a little louder.

The barista giggled, flashing a pleasant smile. Kenma felt his face get hot out of embarrassment. She nodded once before returning to the bakery area. He feared she was going back to tell everyone about the otaku adult in the corner.

“Did you wait long?” Akaashi asked, he slide into the booth opposite of Kenma and shrugged his coat off. Kenma shook his head ‘no’. “Koutaro talked me into tossing to him again and I was afraid I’d spent too much time at the gym. I’m glad you didn’t wait long.”

“How is Bokuto doing? It’s been a while since I last saw him.”

Akaashi blushed. Even after several years, he still hasn’t fully owned up to his crush on Bokuto. Kenma thought it must be nice that they remained close after high school and college. Akaashi and Bokuto lived in the same apartment complex, went to the same community center to play in the same adult volleyball club, and even took the same trains to and from work. He bet they went grocery shopping and did laundry together too.

“He’s well. He’s still really into volleyball.” Akaashi’s mouth twitched into a half smile. Kenma wondered if volleyball was a sore subject. Bokuto still only seemed to think about the sport, even going so far to become a sports commenter for a local station. Akaashi got a job as an advice columnist which surprised everyone – seeing as how the sleepy-eyed man usually looked too bored to listen to other’s problems and provide advice.

“Too into volleyball,” Kenma tried to ask, but it came out as a statement instead. He licked the whipped cream off his latte.

Akaashi’s lips parted like he was about to reply, but the barista was back with his order. She set down a tea and a small pastry. “Let me know if I can get you anything else.” She smiled and nodded, walking briskly towards the front of the shop.

“Koutaro practically breathes sports.” Akaashi finally said, blowing softly on his tea. “But that is to his advantage at work, so perhaps it’s a good thing.” His sleepy, grey eyes studied Kenma over his mug. “How is Kuroo doing? I feel like Bokuto and him play together often, and I see you regularly, but the four of us haven’t been together in a while.”

“Kuro is fine,” Kenma said, adverting his eyes down. He couldn’t help but think of how Kuroo was probably in a lab with Kanna right now. On his way out the door, he told Kenma that he’d be out late and to eat a proper dinner without him.

“Is he still seeing that blonde woman from his uni?”

Kenma looked up slowly, meeting Akaashi’s calm stare. His suddenly felt cold, like his skin was going to slide off into a slimy puddle on the ground. His breath caught in his throat. “Blonde woman from uni?”

“Kanna-chan or something,” Akaashi said, his eyebrow raised slightly, as if he was gauging Kenma’s reaction. It made his skin feel even more uncomfortable suddenly. He hated being watched so closely. “Kuroo brought her along to a volleyball practice game a month ago. She said she was in the same program as Kuroo.”

“Ah,” Kenma mumbled. “I’m not sure.” He busied his hands with his turnover, but the sweet pastry tasted like ash in his mouth.

“What about you? Are you dating?”

Kenma shook his head; his mind was still going kilometers a second still thinking about Kuroo and Kanna. “I don’t think anyone would be seriously interested in someone like me.”

“Why? You’re attractive.” The way Akaashi says it is nonchalant and Kenma chokes a little.

“I…don’t think so.”

“Is it because of Kuroo?”

Kenma snapped, “what does Kuroo have to do with this?”

Akaashi looked surprised. His normally heavy-lidded eyes opened wide. “I just meant that living in a 1LDK with him might be awkward when you bring dates over. Isn’t that why he doesn’t bring over Kanna-chan?”

Kenma pinches the turnover into pieces on the plate, as if he’s physically cutting his own jealous up. He wishes it was easier to swallow. “Kuroo can bring over whoever he wants. I’m gay though. The neighbors might say something strange if I bring men home at weird hours.”

“Wouldn’t they just assume you have friends visiting?”

“No.”

Akaashi looks unconvinced at Kenma’s poor excuse but doesn’t argue back. “Well, I’ve grown tired of waiting for Koutaro to notice me. I have a Grindr account now.”

“How’s that working out for you?” Kenma asked, slight petty sarcasm in his tone.

“Fairly well, thanks for asking. I’ve already had sex with two men.”

Kenma rubbed his forehead, pulling the hood further down his eyes. He was thankful the café was mostly empty so late in the afternoon and the back corner they were tucked in was out of earshot of the staff. “You are so blunt.”

“You are too,” Akaashi replied, looking pleased. “I’m not saying you need to sleep with everyone who talks to you on it, but it might be nice to interact with other, _actual_ gay men in Tokyo.”

“You no longer count as an actual gay man?”

“You know what I mean.”

Kenma did know what he meant, but he kept silent. While Akaashi and him were both gay, and various levels of out of the closet, neither were interested in each other. He didn’t want to explain his weird game with Kuroo to Akaashi either. Even though Kuroo acted like it wasn’t a big deal, Kenma felt guilty about what they got up to and didn’t want his friends to know how pathetic he was. Especially if Kuroo was dating Kanna. Didn’t that make Kenma the other woman? Was Kuroo a cheater? Kenma wanted to go home and wrap himself up in bed, but a sinking feeling in his stomach made him want to avoid home at all costs, even though Kuroo wasn’t going to be there.

Maybe Akaashi had a point. Kenma should find someone to date for real and forget this weird playing around he did with Kuroo never happened. Then he could forget about the sly way Kuroo looked at him before capturing his mouth and pulling him in close. He could forget about how their bodies seemed to fit perfectly together and how they knew each other’s weak spots. How Kuroo likes to eat rice and pickled mackerel afterwards and always lets him take a bath first. How his heart races just thinking about never being touched by those sure hands ever again.

“Kenma? Are you okay?” Akaashi’s soft voice interrupted his thoughts. Kenma looked up, his face getting hot. “You’re crying.” He handed Kenma a napkin to dab his eyes with.

“I’m okay,” Kenma assured him. Akaashi apologized for saying something wrong, but Kenma shook his head. “Sorry, but could you help me make a Grindr?” Akaashi smiled at him and Kenma forced himself to eat another bite of the turnover. It tasted like clay when he swallowed.

_ _ _

Kenma managed to avoid Kuroo for the rest of the week. It wasn’t hard when he knew Kuroo’s schedule and could switch shifts at work. At most, he passed Kuroo on his way to work or if Kuroo was still awake studying when he came home. If the tall, messy haired man noticed, he didn’t say anything.

“You are getting so fat” Kenma grunted, lifting the nine-kilogram cat into his arms. Boss was a fat tabby that was new to the cat café where Kenma worked. At first, he didn’t care for the job. New employees got stuck with litter box cleaning tasks and doing laundry. After a few years though, he enjoyed the soft atmosphere and feline companions. Even though he had to talk to customers a lot, he was used to the idle chit-chat that occurred in the space. The people who came in loved cats and loved warm beverages and sweets – enough common interests that Kenma felt comfortable with the short interactions.

Boss needed a trip to the vet. The tabby has been limping lately and avoiding putting weight on his back leg. Trips to the vet with any of the cats made Kenma anxious. He shifted Boss in his arms so he could balance the cat’s bottom on his hip while he fixed the hoodie over his head. His coworkers poked fun at him, at first, for wearing a cat-eared hoodie to a cat café, but it made him feel relaxed. It was like Kuroo was there, just in case he fell and needed catching. The thought alone made him blush and feel guilty.

He hoped Kuroo would have noticed his more-than-usual cold demeanor. That he’d cancel his dinner plans from friends from uni, friends that Kenma knew included Kanna, to lay on the couch and play video games together. He wished Kuroo would apologize for making his strange and guilty and say the game they started and took too far was real.

Kenma shook the thought from his head and pulled Boss close to his face, sniffing the cat’s warm scent. Working at a cat café had its perks. Felines were calming and Kenma could relate to their sometimes-prickly attitudes towards humans. He placed a struggling Boss feet-first into a carrier and swung the strap over his body. The tabby let out a grunt-like meow before settling in.

“All set?” His co-worker, Mei asked with a smile. “Thanks again for doing this, Kozume-kun. Usually we have a veterinary stop in here, but this looks more serious than a typical cold…”

“No problem,” He said and meant it. Though he wished Boss wasn’t hurt, he liked being able to leave work for the afternoon. “I’m off.” He said under his breath.

The train ride to the vet was quick and empty for a Friday afternoon. Kenma balanced the growling cat on his lap while playing on his DS. He’s calming “shhs” didn’t seem to placate Boss though. A new message from the Grindr app that Akaashi helped him get pinged and interrupted his already-interrupted game.

Akaashi was right when he said Kenma’s cat-like eyes would attract a lot of attention. He joked that he would likely only be popular with foreigners who has an Asian kink. Sadly, it didn’t turn out to be a joke and Kenma spent most of his time with the app, deleting and blocking gross messages from ‘visitors looking for a Japanese experience’.

This guy, James, seemed alright so far though. Kenma liked his green eyes and too-wide smile. He showed a lot of teeth in his profile picture, but his eyes were kind. Though, they have only been talking since last night and he didn’t want to seem eager to be liked.

James: You are working today, right? At that cat café?

Kenma: Yes, though today I’m taking one of the cats to the vet.

James: Oh? I hope it feels better then.

Kenma pursed his lips. He didn’t know how to talk to guys that he may be interested in. He tried to picture he was talking to Kuroo instead but the thought made him feel sick to his stomach.

Kenma: How is work? You teach English here right?

James: haha yeah kind of. I teach pronunciation.

Kenma didn’t get the difference but apparently there was one. His own English was limited. When English speaking costumers came to the café, he usually let another worker deal with them instead.

Kenma: Would you to teach me English sometime?  
Kenma typed out in English, as best as he could.

His stop came and he trudged the tabby off the train. James hadn’t responded which made Kenma feel a little unsettled. Maybe his English was worse than he thought?

The vet had to deal with a minor emergency with a hamster so Kenma and Boss has to wait an extra ten minutes after their scheduled appointment time. “Kozume-san?” The technician called out into the waiting room, catching Kenma’s attention. He slipped his DS back into his pocket and carried Boss into the exam room.

Boss had a small staple stuck between his toes, which was causing discomfort. Kenma hugged the fat tabby close after the vet removed the metal, telling him that Boss would be just fine after a good rest. The cat purred in Kenma’s ear and he wished he didn’t had to put him back into a carrier for the ride back to the café. After promising lots of snacks when they got back, and grabbing the paperwork for filing at the café, Kenma was back out into the chilly weather in less than an hour.

His phone vibrated in his pocket just as he neared the train station. ‘Kuro’ flashed before his eyes and he hesitated before answering. “Hello?”

‘ _Kenma! Oi! When are you coming home? I thought you worked the morning shift today.’_

“Ah. I switched. I’m working the middle shift today.”

‘ _Are you busy tonight? I feel like we haven’t seen each other.’_ There was something about Kuroo’s tone that didn’t sound completely innocent. Kenma felt a shiver go down his spine.

“Ahh. I might be busy.” Kenma’s mind raced for an acceptable lie. “I have…um… a work meeting tonight.”

Kuroo was silent and Kenma’s stomach ached. Work meetings were once a month on a Monday afternoon, when the café was usually closed. It was a shitty lie.

‘ _Well, let’s hang out when you are back home. It’s Friday so I don’t have to be up for classes tomorrow.’_

Kenma cursed in his head but gave a shy, ‘sure’ to Kuroo before hanging up. He sighed and boarded a train with Boss.

James didn’t message him back until later that night. Kenma settled into his spot on the couch and pulled his knees to his chest, checking his phone. His body felt weird about messaging some man on a gay dating app while Kuroo was less than two meters away, grabbing drinks from the tiny kitchen.

James: I’ll teach you English. Does this mean we can play sensei-student?  
Attached was a picture of James with his button up shirt open and his tie thrown over his shoulder. He had a nice slim figure and a deep v to his hips that reminded Kenma of Kuroo’s hip bones.

His face flushed. Fingers trembling, Kenma closed out of the app just as Kuroo dropped down onto the couch next to him.

“Who are you texting?”

“I’m not.”

“You were.”

“No, I wasn’t.”

“Were too.”

“Wasn’t.”

Kuroo hummed, taking a drink of the beer that he grabbed. He handed a hard cider to Kenma who shifted uncomfortably as he took a sip. “Was it a dick pic?” Kenma choked and Kuroo’s usual smirk was whipped off his own face. “Who sent you a picture of their dick?” Kuroo demanded, using what Kenma referred to as his captain voice.

Kenma could feel his skin heat up and was scared momentarily that he would actually combust. “It wasn’t!” He snapped.

Kuroo made a lunge for Kenma’s phone and snatched it out of his hands. Tumbling forward, hanging on to his phone in Kuroo’s grip, Kenma let out a grunt. Kuroo huffed, “You’re making a face. What are you hiding?”

“I’m not making a face. I have nothing to hide.” Kenma stressed each statement, gritting his teeth and pulling his phone in a tug-of-war.

Kuroo tried to hold it above his head, forcing Kenma’s shorter arms to stretch. To gain better balance, Kenma shifted onto Kuroo’s lap, yanking with his body weight. Kuroo let go but moved his arms around Kenma’s wait to steady him before he fell to the floor. Kenma seethed in his arms, his blond, long hair was falling out of the small braid that he put it into. Kuroo’s eyes narrowed and Kenma moved instinctively to meet his lips and a fiery kiss.

Kenma’s chest hurt; like his lungs were trying to escape his chest in protest. He could pull back and put a stop to the game but he didn’t want to. Kuroo’s large hands kneaded the soft mounds of Kenma’s ass, pulling his cheeks apart and making him feel exposed. Kenma let out a shaky breath against his mouth. “Kuro.”

“Ahhh,” Kuroo groaned into his ear.

“Kuro,” Kenma voice was firm, but his face was flush and his eyes closed tightly in bliss.

Kuroo pulled back and Kenma swayed a little in his lap, catching his breath. “S-s-so-sorry,” Kuroo stammered, and Kenma watched as a deep blush took over Kuroo’s ears first, then his neck.

Kenma sighed before chuckling a little. Kuroo looked like a cat that got caught with a lizard in its mouth. He shifted off his lap and ran his fingers through his messy hair. Kuroo scooched further away on the couch, spreading his long legs out in the space between them. His face and neck were still pink and he was avoiding Kenma’s eyes in favor of his suddenly interesting beer bottle.

He checked his phone and saw two missed messages from James.

James: Sorry, was that too forward?

James: Shit. Sorry. Forget that. Shit.

“You know,” Kuroo said, his tone was deep. Kenma looked up and Kuroo met his eyes. His expression was serious, almost dire in comparison to Kuroo’s usual smirking features. “I take things too far sometimes.”

“Kuroo…”

“Kenma, if you ever don’t want to do something, you would tell me right?”

Kenma stared back long and hard, thinking. Truthfully, he’d do anything Kuroo asked of him, even if he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to play volleyball when they were kids, but he did because Kuroo pestered him. He didn’t want to go to parties, but Kuroo liked socializing. He didn’t even like the shitty apartment they were in with one small bathroom, a too small kitchen, and not enough room for all his gaming systems. Kuroo liked that the area was close to school and Bokuto though.

“I want to.” He admitted. It wasn’t an answer to Kuroo’s question, but it was the answer to the question he seemed to be too shy to ask. “You aren’t making me do anything I don’t want to do.”

Kuroo smiled, trying to hide it with his beer. “Yeah okay then.”

“Did you have a bad day today?”

“No,” he replied. Kuroo used his toes to grab onto the hoodie Kenma was in and pull it over his head, laughing grossly at his own antics.

“Gross!” Kenma squirmed. “Get your feet off me!”

Kuroo wiggled further into the couch and pretended to pay attention to the show that was on tv. Some drama with an actress he and Yaku liked.

Kenma replied to James in English as best he could.   
Kenma: Don’t mind.  
Kenma: My roommate was trying to take my phone. It took me a while to get it back.

James: I didn’t know you had a roommate.  
Was the reply immediately.  
James: So if I didn’t scare you off…what did you think?

Kenma chewed his bottom lip, curling back into himself on the couch. Kuroo cleared his throat to get his attention, though his eyes never left the tv. “Kenma,” Kuroo said after some time. “Did you want to stop because you are texting some guy?”

He didn’t have to ask ‘what’; it was obvious that Kuroo was a little nervous from Kenma’s reaction just then. His forehead was wrinkled from furrowed brows and his eyelids were drooped as they started towards the tv, unfocused. Kuroo folded his arms over his broad chest and Kenma took a moment to appreciate the obvious muscle that he still had. Muscles that twitched from holding a stiff position.

“My stomach hurt, sorry,” Kenma half-lied.

Kuroo’s expression grew worried, but now for a different reason than before. He rose from the couch and took the short strides to the kitchen to start up some ginger and honey tea. Kenma didn’t even have to ask. Kuroo always made him ginger and honey tea whenever his stomach hurt – ever since they were kids.

Kenma brought his phone up close to his face, as if it would minimize Kuroo’s ability to read over his shoulder from a different area of the apartment.

Kenma: I think I liked it

The whistle from the kitchen meant he had a little over a minute before Kuroo would be back on the couch. Kenma’s heart raced a little. James must have been on his phone because he replied immediately again.

James: Can we meet up?

He dropped his phone into his lap when a mug hovered in front of his face. Kuroo gave him a worried expression and touched his forehead with the back of his hand. “You feel warm.” He sighed. “Sorry for pushing you.”

“You didn’t.”

“I did.”

“Didn’t.”

“Did.”

Kenma took the mug of tea and flexed his toes against the couch cushion. “Didn’t,” He mumbled against the rim of the mug. Kuroo froze in the middle of re-situating himself on the couch to give him a look.

* * *

Starting slow I suppose.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taketora is a brat.  
> Kenma send a picture.  
> Kuroo gets some (like usual) because I enjoy smut.

Kenma woke up to the smell of pancakes burning in their small kitchen and shot out of bed as quickly as he could. Kuroo ran to their small balcony and threw open the door, letting the smoky air of the room dissipate. He covered his mouth in his armpit as he coughed loudly.

“H-heyyy,” Kuroo wheezed. “Good morning.”

Kenma’s eyes burned and he had to dig in with the heel of his palm to cease the itching. “What are you doing? It’s not even noon.”

Kuroo grinned, though his eyes watered from the smoke that was still clearing out. “I wanted to make us breakfast.”

“By burning us alive?”

Kuroo gasped his chest and faked shock. “I would never.”

“You would.”

“Wouldn’t.”

“Would,” Kenma argued back from habit. “Wait. I don’t want to play this game. It’s too early.”

“Too early for games? Are you actually Kenma?”

Kenma flipped him off without a response, choosing instead of settle onto the couch with a throw blanket. If he couldn’t finish sleeping in his own bed, he would at least nap before work in the living room. He loved the red blanket that Kuroo’s mother made him last year. She had used a soft, oversized yarn in her knitting. He liked that he could drape it over his head and the small pockets between threading would made the perfect air holes while he played on his DS.

Kuroo rubbed the back of his neck, watching his best friend curl into a small ball on the couch like a cat. The pancakes burnt and he was pretty sure he was out of eggs now. “Kenma,” Kuroo called out, poking the cute lump on the couch with his foot. “I’m going to grab us coffees and breakfast from the corner bakery.”

The bakery they frequented wasn’t far. Kuroo liked that he only had to walk a block and a half to buy Kenma a celebration, apology, or just because apple pie. The little old ladies that worked there had taken a liking to Kenma and often chastised Kuroo for not feeding him well enough. The one who made the pies gushed about how Kenma would be much cuter if his small cheeks were much rounder. Kuroo thought that Kenma’s cheeks were cute no matter the shape.

Kenma breathed out a hum in reply, which Kuroo understood as ‘get me my usual then’.

Kenma woke back up ten minutes later with the smell of fresh apple pie and a hazelnut coffee blend. It was a much more pleasant smell than the failed breakfast before. Kuroo tweaked his nose from outside the blanket, smiling softly. “Don’t watch me sleep,” Kenma scolded, though a yawn ruined his tone.

“Maybe I’m keeping monsters away.” Kuroo teased. Kenma scoffed and rolled over so his back was to Kuroo. Kuroo’s knees cracked as he stood up. “Don’t forget to eat real food today too.”

“Well I work today, so probably not.”

“Eat a vegetable.”

“No.”

“Kenma.”

“Kuro.”

“A vegetable. At least a vegetable in something.”

“One vegetable.” Kenma bargained.

“Okay,” Kuroo agreed.

“You should have held out,” the lump on the couch said. “I could have gone up to two vegetables.”

“Nuhhahah,” Kuroo laughed loudly.

Kenma forced himself into a upwards position to enjoy the pie and coffee before both got too cold. He had two missed messages on Grindr from James which he chose to open quickly while Kuroo was whistling and cleaning the kitchen mess.

James: Hey we don’t have to meet up if you are uncomfortable.

James: Maybe we could exchange pictures though? Maybe talk on the phone?

Kenma did not want to talk on the phone. He hated phone calls. He only phone calls he tolerated were Kuro’s, his mom’s, Hinata’s, and when he was forced to take calls at work.

Kenma: What kind of picture?

He hoped James would ignore the idea of a phone call.

“When do you get home from work?” Kuroo asked in his ear, having snuck up on him. Kenma squeaked and dropped his phone in his lap. Kuroo snorted out his too-loud laugh again, seemingly proud of himself.

“Seven,” Kenma replied, his heart racing though he wasn’t convinced it was all because Kuroo surprised him. He hoped he didn’t see his message to James. Akaashi said it wasn’t Kuroo’s business who he dated or what he did with them, but Kenma couldn’t shake the guilt bubbling up inside him anyway. Guilt for talking to James over his non-relationship with Kuroo. Guilt over his non-relationship mess with Kuroo when Kuroo has a probable-relationship with some woman named Kanna.

“Hmm, you might beat me home then. I’ll call when I head back to see if you’ve eaten yet.”

Kenma scowled, “You’re going out today? Shouldn’t you be studying for something?”

Kuroo’s grin was sly. “I’m going to the library with Kanna soon. I will be studying so neh!”

He couldn’t shake the anger from his voice as he snapped, “What are you? Five?” Kenma snorted and threw the blanket off his lap, slightly stomping his feet to their shared room to change for work. He knew it was childish and hypocritical to call Kuroo a five-year-old when he immediately acted like on at the mention of Kanna. When he left for work, Kuroo was still giving him a look that he couldn’t fully read and it pissed him off more. Tonight, was going to be a bad night.

His suspicion was proven correct when he got to work. One of the cats had escaped the designated room twice and Mei said that she hired a new person. Leo was an opportunist / escape artist and Taketora Yamamoto had no idea how to make a latte. Kenma sighed dramatically with every drop of steamed milk. He desperately wished he wasn’t the senior employee tonight and could trade with Fukunaga. Fukunaga started almost a year ago, and Kenma liked how they could exist quietly besides each other for an entire shift. Taketora didn’t look the type to work silently.

Taketora wasn’t much taller than himself, but he was definitely far more muscular than Kenma. His wide arms looked strained underneath the well-fitted polo that he was wearing. Taketora’s short, thick eyebrows and blond mohawk made him look menacing. However, his non-stop cooing at the different cats and inability to take the order of pretty female customers quickly erased any appearance of a ruffian that Kenma first saw. He seemed like a tough-looking goodball.

“Hmm,” Taketora grunted, eyes were focused on Kenma’s hands as he demonstrated how to hold the craft for steaming milk.

“Gently move it up and down so you create the foam and the milk doesn’t scald.” Kenma explained wirily. He moved his hand slowly in the proper motion and turned to face Taketora to make sure he understood. Instead, the tough-goofball was beat red in the face. “What?”

“Nothing,” he insisted and cleared his throat.

Kenma showed him how to stock the back of the store next, secretly glad that he didn’t have to do it tonight. He wondered if Taketora would notice if he made him finish all the cleaning too. “That should be it for the café side of things. Your next shift you can start to learn about the cat side. We try to get new employees trained on this area first but the cats aren’t very difficult to work with.”

Taketora nodded along, lifting the coffee beans high up on the shelving unit like he was instructed. “You’re surprisingly good at teaching people things, Kozume.”

“Surprisingly good?”

“I just mean that you look bored all the time, but you are able to clearly tell others what needs to be done.”

Kenma could feel himself blush. Kuroo said the same thing about him in high school when they played volleyball together. It was embarrassing back then and embarrassing now. The brain. It stuck with him.

“You are also really pretty, so I guess that also makes it easy to listen to you too.” Taketora said, without hesitate or shame. Kenma’s faced burned and he suddenly noticed. “Ah, sorry. That’s a weird thing to say about a man right?”

“It is.”

Taketora chuckled, his cheeks still pink. “That’s fair.”

Kenma felt his lips twitch into a small smile. It could be the start of a new friendship, he thought to himself. Taketora was an interesting character and certainly friendly enough.

Kenma changed him mind after the next hour ticked on. Taketora had gotten frustrated with the espresso machine multiple times after they finished stocking the back room. His battle with the machine cumulated into an angry snarl and spilling a hot caramel macchiato on Kenma’s arm. This was the fifth drink mistake and Kenma could feel his nerves start to fry. “Taketora, please just read the drink cards and follow the instructions.” It wouldn’t have been so bar, but after every incorrect drink, Taketora just kept saying he knew what he was doing.

“I have it memorized,” Taketora grunted, and although Kenma could see that he was angrier at himself than Kenma, he couldn’t help but take it personally.

“It’s your first day, just use them.”

“I said I memorized them,” was the too-loud, snappish reply.

Scrunching his face is disgust at the sticky mess that covered himself and the floors, Kenma wet a towel. He couldn’t help but silently be pissed at Taketora for not listening. Their first half of the shift started so well and Kenma wasn’t sure what went wrong.

Taketora was at least adequate at mopping to Kenma’s relief. After he cleaned himself and the floor up, Taketora agreed to bus tables and finish their nightly cleaning chores. Kenma couldn’t help up sigh with frustration every few minutes. Fukunaga, who was in charge of the cats tonight, had finished cleaning the cat’s lounge and gone home.

Kenma breathed slowly out of his nose and set the last of the dishes in the sink. At least they could turn the open sign off and finishing closing. He glanced at Taketora, who was now vigorously scrubbing a pan that was used to make cookies. Deciding that he could take a moment for himself, Kenma entered the cat lounge area and located Boss. The fat tabby purred and tucked his head under Kenma’s chin. He sniffed the soft fur around Boss’s neck, feeling his own mind clear and body relax.

“Why are you smelling the cats?”

Kenma jumped in surprised, letting Boss leap from his arms. “I wasn’t.”

Taketora raised an eyebrow but shrugged. Kenma hated the judgmental look on his face. “Whatever. I’m done with the dishes and floors.”

“I just put some back there.”

“I finished them.”

“We can lock up and leave then,” Kenma mumbled, briskly walking to the backroom to grab his coat and DS. Taketora waited for him at the backdoor and Kenma showed him how to leave and set the alarm. “Goodnight, Taketora.” He said, already starting a game on his DS.

“Tora.” Taketora corrected him. Kenma looked up, confused. “My friends call me Tora.”

“No thanks,” Kenma replied without thinking, scrunching his nose. His face softened when he saw the look of hurt on Taketora’s face. “See you later.” Kenma turned and walked away as fast as he could. He was slightly proud of himself for the blunt honesty he usually saves for Kuroo. He was slightly ashamed of himself for talking to a coworker in such a rude tone too.

Walking back home, Kenma opened Grindr to see if James left any more messages.

James: Would it be creepy if I asked for a picture of your body?

James: That is creepy, sorry. I’m just curious. I’ve only seen pictures of your face.

Kuroo wasn’t home when Kenma got back and he wondered if that was okay. If Kuroo was out with Kanna ‘studying’ then couldn’t Kenma use this time to take a decent picture to send to someone actually romantically interested in him? At least he hoped he was. It was hard to tell over text.

Kenma: I feel awkward taking a picture of myself.

Kenma closed himself in their bathroom, the only room large enough with a mirror that he could use. He studied his ghostly reflection. His face was too round but at least his eyes narrowed with age. Kenma squished his cheeks together with his fingers and frowned. He didn’t know what to do with his body.

Maybe a picture straight on? He held his phone up and scowled.

He tried turning to one side then the other and neither looked natural. Sighing, he struggled out of the cat hoodie and straightened his plain tshirt. Lightly touching his neck with one hand while the other took the picture, Kenma cast his gaze slightly down.

He wasn’t looking at the camera directly, but he preferred how nonchalant he looked in this one. He hoped James wouldn’t say anything about it. His heart raced as he sent it in their private message.

Embarrassed, he grabbed the hoodie off the floor and threw it into the bedroom before settling on the couch. His face felt hot and his mind was racing. What if James thought he was gross? His body wasn’t as slim as it was when he was in high school. He was far from overweight, but the once wiry muscles were now just lean limbs with less definition. He scolded himself for using so many excuses to avoid the gym with Kuroo and Bokuto.

James replied just when the thoughts in his head were starting to lead to an distracting level of anxiety. James: You are so incredibly hot. How can you be so sexy?

His stomach felt like it was doing flips. He didn’t know how to reply so he hoped James would take the lead again.

James: I wish I was there with you now. I really want to touch those cute cheeks.

They messaged back and forth for the next two hours while Kenma played Skyrim. He liked that James didn’t mind moving the conversation to lighter topics. He found out that James lived in a small dorm that the school he taught at provided for international employees. That he didn’t like sake but liked beer and that green tea was slowly becoming his favorite flavor of ice cream.

At one in the morning, Kenma yawned and got ready for bed. The two small beds that fit into the shared bedroom were close. Kuroo’s pushed against one wall and Kenma’s connecting on the parallel wall so the headboards touched to form a 90-degree angle. Kenma had liked it when they first moved in. He felt like he could reach up and touch Kuroo easily. Now he felt dizzy being so close to the bed where he realized he loved Kuroo and the touch-play game that started as a joke taken too far was so much more to him now.

Pouting and stripping down to his boxers, Kenma dove under his thick blankets and made sure his entire body was covered. He was just starting to drift off to sleep when the bedroom door slammed open. He grunted when Kuroo jumped on top of him, wrapping his arms around where he instinctively knew Kenma was.

Kuroo wiggled the blanket down to free Kenma’s head. His hair splayed around the pillows in a fizzy halo. Though Kuroo thought Kenma always looked angelic. He grinned, “Hi.”

Kenma’s nose curled in disgust as the smell of alcohol. “I thought you were studying, not drinking.”

Kuroo’s grin turned into his signature sly smirk. “Sometimes it’s both.” He explained and pressed his nose into Kenma’s neck, inhaling deeply.

“Stop, I haven’t showered.”

“Kinky.” Kuroo chuckled, yanking the blankets further down so he could burrow underneath as well. Kenma elbowed him as best he could when Kuroo’s limbs were in his way. Kuroo finally stopped wiggling when he maneuvered into spooning Kenma. He pressed a few, quick kisses to Kenma’s ears.

Kenma’s body felt hot and he shoved Kuroo further away. The taller and stronger of the two was too difficult to shake off and Kuroo’s hands snaked up Kenma’s bare chest. “Kuro.” Kenma’s tone was a half warning, half moan.

“Kenma.” He turned to face Kuroo, who’s sly smile was only visible for a second before he pulled the blankets over their heads. Kuroo moved slowly over his body, resting on his forearms on either side of Kenma. He kissed up Kenma’s neck before tracing his jawline with soft lips. Kenma moaned louder, his body on fire and vibrating.

“H-how drunk are you right n-now?” Kenma asked, gasping as Kuroo ground down against him.

“I only had a few,” was the husky whisper in his ear. Long fingers teased along the length of his erection.

Kenma shook his head. “What’s a few?” He tried to keep his voice stead but he squeaked when Kuroo gripped his boxer briefs and tugged them down.

“Kitten,” Kuroo purred back. “Come on?” Kenma looked down to meet Kuroo’s hazel eyes. They were focused and sharp and Kenma felt a tingle run down his spine to his toes. He nodded and let Kuroo grip his hips, positioning them how he liked.

Kuroo didn’t waste time, dropping his head between Kenma’s legs and taking his throbbing cock in his mouth, sucking hard. Kenma moaned, toes curling. “Fuck,” he whispered against his hand. Kuroo pulled his hips forward and Kenma cried out in pleasure. The inside of Kuroo’s mouth was hot and wet; his skilled tongue rolling over the head with each bob of his head. Kenma panted, he felt so close already.

Kuroo rutted against the bed, his jeans tight against his own hard length. He pulled his mouth off Kenma with a ‘pop’ and licked his fingers. He glanced up at Kenma as he continued to suckle the head of his dick. His, now wet, fingers tracing the ring of muscle that he planned on pushing into soon. Kenma looked to wrecked and the sight was enough to make precum leak from his own cock like a faucet.

Kenma glanced down and met the intense state of hazel eyes and felt the pressure building suddenly overflow. He cried out, hips sputtering under Kuroo’s strong grip, as he came. Panting between moans, Kenma wiggled away from the overstimulation of Kuroo’s mouth.

Kuroo opened his mouth and let Kenma’s climax drool out of his mouth into his palm. Kenma whimpered, thighs twitching as Kuroo spread them further. “Hey,” Kuroo said, smirking. He held a finger to his lips as the other hand pushed a spit and cum mixture over Kenma’s hole. “Shh.”

“Kuro,” Kenma pleaded. “It’s too hot.”

Kuroo chuckled, “but isn’t it kind of naughty doing this under the blanket?”

“I’m too hot like this.”

“Hmm,” Kuroo agreed. “You are.” He sat up and let the blanket drop down his back. “Shit, look at you.”

Kenma shook his head, throwing an arm over his face so he didn’t have to meet Kuroo’s eyes. Kuroo reached over to grab the lube and condoms from the tiny shared bedside table. His fingers were still tracing a sticky mixture over the twitching hole, but not ready to push in without lube.

Kenma yanked on Kuroo’s shirt, impatient. Kuroo nodded his head like he understood and ripped his polo off with one hand, trying to be careful not to dirty it. Getting out of his jeans was a harder trick, but Kenma helped pushed them down to his thighs.

Now naked, Kuroo settled back down between Kenma’s legs and coated his fingers in lube. He pushed one finger in slowly, stretching the muscle. Kenma moaned as Kuroo prepared him thoroughly. His dick was half hard when Kuroo’s fingers teased his prostate and his felt his balls tighten and cock pulse. “Hurry, Kuro,” Kenma groaned, resisting the urge to reach down and jerk himself to completion once more.

Kuroo hummed, pulling his fingers out and putting a condom on. He squirted more lube over himself before pushing in all the way. Kuroo grunted, his body dropping on top of Kenma. “Shit, the inside of you always feels so amazing.” Kenma tried to keep the sudden elation from such a compliment off his face but he wanted to squeal with joy. He tightened his legs around Kuroo’s, thrusting up so he knew it was okay to continue. Kuroo moaned in his hair and pumped his hips in and out, switching the angle until he found one that hit Kenma’s prostate perfectly.

_ _ _

Like always, Kuroo acted like what they did the previous night never happened. Kenma was starting to feel like he was imagining the game. Kuroo was a human switch though it wasn’t like he was going between on and off or hot and cold. One switch was the same Kuroo that Kenma has known since childhood. His best friend. The other switch was the same strongly, funny man, but with his dick out. The only issue was that the two switches never seemed to communicate between each other. Like the other wise didn’t fully exist and what Kenma did with the other never happened.

Kuroo popped grapes into his mouth, chuckling at something on the TV. Kenma smoothed down his hair before pouring himself a cup of coffee. His stomach ached and even though the dark roast he was brewing wouldn’t help the fact, he felt a need to stick to his routine. It was moments like this that convinced Kenma it was truly a game. Games can be turned off and then real life can continue. Exactly what Kuroo did after playing around.

He wondered if it burned Kuroo’s guts like it did his.

Sinking into the couch with a cup of coffee, Kenma hissed softly. His hips were sore; Kuroo was rough and twisting with his body. While it was fun last night, Kenma was silently regretting agreeing to the position where he balanced on his forearms and the rest of his was suspended in the air like some flying trapeze act. It felt amazing though, so maybe he just regrets being less flexible and so out of shape.

“You okay?” Kenma looked up into Kuroo’s concerned eyes.

“Yeah,” He assured, “Never better.”

Kuroo smirked and popped another grape into his mouth; pleased with himself.

Kenma tapped through his phone and opened new messages from James but decided not to respond. His chest hurt and his stomach ached. He didn’t want to find someone to help get over his stupid crush on Kuroo anymore. It wasn’t working, despite Akaashi saying it would after some time. James seemed nice, and he certainly was complimentary, but no matter what – he wasn’t Kuroo.

Kenma tipped his chin down, his hair falling along his cheeks like a curtain to hide his peaking. Kuroo’s jaw was angled and strong. The baby fat around his cheeks melted off in high school with volleyball training. His eyes were heavily lidded like he was always amused at what was going on around him.

Kuroo’s eyes slipped to stared back at him, but he never turned his head from the TV. “You sure you are okay?”

Sucking in a quick breath, Kenma nodded. “Yeah. I have work soon though.”

“How’s work?”

Kenma’s face scrunched up at the thought of having to deal with Taketora getting snotty about messing up drinks again.

“Oh-ho-ho? That great?”

“The new guy is annoying.”

“More annoying than when Lev tried to work there?” Kuroo chuckled at Kenma’s sour expression. They do not speak of Lev at the cat café. “What’s the problem then?”

“I just said he’s annoying.” Kenma shrugged, his mouth turning into a small pout. He wasn’t a fan of Kuroo’s tone. He was using his captain voice.

“And I’m just saying that maybe it would be nice for you to make some more friends. Especially at work.”

Kenma sighed, finishing his coffee and standing. “I’m getting ready for work.”

“Think about it? You have to work with him, so why not be friends and make the work easier?”

Kenma struggled into a pair of skinny jeans, pretending not to hear or listen to Kuroo in the living room. He tried to smooth down his hair once more, but it was determined to be a fluffy cloud today. Frustrated, he quickly braided it into a high pony-tail for work.

Kuroo was still lecturing him when he finished brushing his teeth and washing his face. Though it ended just as he pulled on his shoes. “Oi,” Kuroo said, interrupting his own tirade. “Cover your neck at least.”

Kenma checked the exposed skin around the color of his shirt and scowled at Kuroo. The Cheshire grin back took no responsibility for what his other-switch-self did. Kenma grabbed one of the hoodies from the back of the couch and made a point to slam the door on his way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey thanks for all those kudos and stuff! I got a case of the warm and fuzzies from each one!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A friendship starts  
> An app gets deleted  
> Bokuto makes an appearance.

At work, Taketora was only slightly better than the night before. Kenma was feeling himself get irrationally irritated at the “I’ve got it” attitude Taketora had with every mistake though. A new employee didn’t need to be perfect, and Kenma expected plenty of mistakes. Instead of being open to corrections, Taketora was shutting down and getting snappish.

At least he no longer rang orders into the till wrong. However, they were busy with a small rush of young women. Taketora was practically useless at the register and Fukunaga had to step in to help ring in orders before going back to monitor the cat lounge. Kenma had to bit his lip to keep from begging him to switch places tonight again.

“Taketora, that drink doesn’t get caramel drizzle,” Kenma warned, watching the newbie out of the corner of his eye. He was trying to stay on top of correcting mistakes before they happened, but he was busy making four almond and ginger lattes with a cat foam design.

“What do you mean? It’s a caramel drink, of course it gets drizzle.” Taketora grunted, sounding confident in himself.

Kenma wanted to smack the drizzle from his hand. “It gets the caramel crunch topping. It’s a caramel bar latte, not a regular caramel latte.”

Taketora flushed and finally put down the drizzle. “There are too many caramel drinks. It’s confusing.”

“Use the drink cards.” Kenma reminded him. He could see Taketora mock him silently out of the corner of his eye.

The women sat down in the cat lounge with their drinks. Kenma watched them gush over the latte art he did for them and take pictures of the jiggling foam cat bellies. “Did you learn to make those cat things in the cups here?” Taketora asked, appearing at his side suddenly and startling him. Kenma nodded, choosing to focus on cleaning the espresso machine in their small amount of down time.

The next drink that Taketora attempted, he also attempted latte art. Kenma was not impressed with the deformed looking cat that he created. “I just need to try harder next time.” Taketora told him, ignoring Kenma when he tried to explain the technique.

Taketora said that line three more times throughout their shift and each time, Kenma felt his nerves grate a little more.

“I got it; I just need to a try a little harder next time.” Taketora said about the espresso he pulled that was a soft blonde color instead of the deep rich brown it should be.

Kenma snapped. “You don’t got it! You haven’t gotten it in the past five hours! Why can’t you just take direction? What the hell? You took direction fine the other day, then suddenly you are too cool to get help?”

“You taught me yesterday, and now I’ve got it! Its not going to help to just keep telling me the same thing. I know what I’m doing, I just need to try-“

“Harder. I’ve heard! But you don’t need to keep trying harder! You need to know how to do it in the first place! A part of trying harder is knowing when you don’t know something.” Kenma practically shouted and poked Taketora in the chest for emphasis. A part of him was screaming that customers were watching and that he was making a scene over nothing, but he couldn’t stop his blood from boiling over.

“I know the damn drinks!” Taketora gripped Kenma’s hoodie, pulling it towards him violently.

“NO YOU DON’T, LOOK AT THE DRINK CARDS.” Kenma snarled, shaking Taketora’s shoulders back and forth as hard as he could.

Taketora yanked his collar up and Kenma was forced onto his toes to meet him in the eye.

A splash of cold water over their heads made them both jump backwards like hissing cats. Kenma whipped his eyes clear from the drops traveling down his face. Fukunaga started at them blankly, bucket still in his hands. “You’ve gone too far Dostoevsky.”

Taketora snorted into a full body laughing fit. His curly mohawk was going flat from the unexpected shower. “What does that even mean?” He choked out, still laughing.

Kenma started to giggle into his hand. “Fukunaga, only you would understand that reference.”

Fukunaga nodded, a smile on his usually blank face. “It is time to get along. You’ll set a bad example for the cats.”

This sent the three into another fit of laughter. Kenma apologized to the customers in the café and offered everyone free cookies for the inappropriate commotion. Despite being utterly embarrassed, it may have been the most fun he’s ever had at work.

. . .

Kenma returned home slightly giggly. His hair dried awkwardly; curling around his collarbone wear the braid came undone. His keys clanked in the bowl near their front door and Kuroo poked his head up from the couch. His reading glasses slid down his slender nose and Kenma kind of hated himself for thinking it was so attractive.

“You’re in a good mood.” Kuroo’s statement was more an invitation than a fact.

Kenma hummed in agreement, surprising them both. He did have fun at work. Sure, the first half was sour, but by the time they closed, Taketora and Fukunaga seemed a lot more tolerable than before. He even found himself agreeing to Taketora playing his music over the speakers as they cleaned.

“Aww,” Kuroo cooed, turning to face him as he sat on the couch. Kenma flushed; he pulled his DS out of his pocket as a distraction and hoped Kuroo would drop it. He didn’t. “Did Kenma make friends today?”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

“Not.”

Kuroo snickered before whispering, “Did too.”

_ _ _

* * *

 

All the messages James was still sending made Kenma anxious. He started ghosting the Grindr fling a few weeks ago but he was still trying to talk to Kenma daily. Kenma wrung his hands nervously, nestled into the couch cushions.

James: are you working today again?

James: it’s been a while. What’s up?

James: Hey

James: I thought we liked each other.

James: Kenma. Hey.

James: Answer me.

The last messages from this morning sent him into a fit of panic.

James: You left your geotag on. I know where you live.

James: I’m outside your building. Come out.

James: Kenma.

Kenma sprang up from the couch, the blanket getting tangled on his legs and tripping him across the living room. He stumbled onto the side table next to their balcony and fell, ungracefully, to his knees. Cursing with a hiss from the pain, Kenma ducked his head and pushed the blinds to the side. He couldn’t see the parking lot from this vantage point, but maybe if he moved a little to the-

CRASH

-Kenma knocked over the standing lamp. He scrunched his eyes shut and mentally berated himself. Kuroo ran into the living room, his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth and eyes wide in panic that matched how Kenma felt.

“What’s wrong? What happened?”

It felt funny that those four words formed into two questions were what made Kenma start to sob. How could he possibly explain what was wrong or what happened to Kuroo? It was messy and embarrassing and Kenma hated himself more than he already had for taking part in it. He felt phlegm get caught in this throat when he tried to response, so he just shook his head.

Kuroo was on his before he finished wiping his eyes. “Kenma? Oi, what happened?”

“Kuro,” Kenma gurgled finally. “I think he’s outside? He’s mad. I think I made him mad at me.”

“Who? Who’s outside and mad? What happened?”

Kenma struggled to form sentences that made sense. He felt himself jump all over, starting in the middle of the story, jumping to the end then having to circle back to the beginning. At the end, his whole face felt chapped and rubbed raw. Kuroo fussed, using gentle hands to wipe any tears that hit his cheeks.

“Okay,” Kuroo said, when Kenma finally reached the end. “I think I understand.” He stood and set the toothbrush that had been balanced between his teeth in Kenma’s hands. “I’ll take care of it.”

“Kuro, what are you going to do?”

“Take care of it,” Kuroo repeated, pulling on a jacket over the tank top he slept in. He pointed at Kenma, standing in the doorway. “Ice your eyes.” He slammed the door behind him.

Kenma did not ice his eyes. He ran out onto the small balcony and peered over the edge of the half wall to watch Kuroo leave their apartment building and scan the lot with determined eyes.

Kuroo’s heart was racing as he looked around the small parking lot of their apartment complex. There were a few people still leaving for work that ignored him. His eyes flicked up to the balcony he knew to be theirs. Golden worried eyes peaked down at him. He gave Kenma a confident nod, though he certainly didn’t feel that way.

What if this guy was one of those huge American dudes? He couldn’t help but imagine having to square off against Captain America.

A fidgeting foreigner caught his eye and Kuroo smirked, relaxing. He might be making assumptions, but the only white man in the lot was shifting uncomfortably near the entrance of the lot. They locked eyes just as Kuroo stalked towards him. He hoped he looked intimidating, because he was doing his best to walk as confidently as possible.

“Oi.”

The man gritted his teeth, flexing the muscle in his jaw out of nervousness. Good, Kuroo thought to himself; he wanted him to feel as anxious as he made Kenma feel. “Uh, hello.”

Kuroo looked him up and down. The man was fairly tall but held a lot of extra weight in his midsection and face. His hair was thinning and his t-shirt suggested he was one of the foreigners who were obsessed with anime. Kuroo passively wondered if this was Kenma’s type.

“You waiting for Kenma, eh?”

“What? No! I mean, is he around?”

“Stay away from Kenma.” Kuroo kept his voice even and low.

“That’s bullshit.” Apparently, he set the guy off. “He flirted with me! He wanted to meet up! Now he’s got some dude he clearly met at the gym hanging around and he doesn’t need me?”

Kuroo was irritated. He shifted from foot to foot, trying not to punch the guy in the nose. “Well he’s changed his mind then. So back off.”

James snarled, “Well your boyfriend is a tease and a slut.”

Kuroo grabbed the front of his shirt, forcing James to stumble forward. “If you even think about talking to him again, I’ll call the police.”

He seemed to take the hint and yanked his shirt loose from Kuroo’s grip. “Like I’d waste my time with some fugly twink.” He shouted, half running – as best as he could – away.

Kuroo watched him round the corner before heading back inside. Kenma was still on the balcony when he opened their door. Watering, cat-like eyes gazed up at him with something that felt too much. Kuroo’s lungs ached and he had to break eye contact.

“Thanks, Kuroo,” Kenma sniffed.

Kuroo pulled him up and into his arms. He rubbed the small of Kenma’s back in soothing circles. “You’re okay now. Don’t worry,” He cooed in his ear, pausing only to kiss his temple lightly. “You’ve got shit taste in men, but you’re okay.”

Kenma gave Kuroo was he calls Kenma’s ‘ick’ face. “That is not what he looked on like online.”

Kuroo hummed and tucked a few blond and black strands of hair behind Kenma’s ears. He liked how Kenma looked with his hair out of his face. “What are you doing on a dating site anyway?”

“Akaashi suggested it.” Kenma said, very willing to throw one of his closest friends under the bus. He’d apologize the next time they got coffee.

“Why would Akaashi suggest that?”

Kuroo pulled away and Kenma held back a sigh of disappointment. He wondered if he could actually die of embarrassment and shame. He wished he could. “He thought it might be good for me to start…dating.” Kenma formed his words carefully and slowly. Kuroo raised his eyebrows, folding his arms across his chest.

“Dating?”

“Yeah. Dating.”

Kuroo looked troubled. “Are you interested in…dating?”

Kenma glanced down at the parking lot, thinking back to the drama that just unfolded. He twisted the toothbrush in his hands carefully. “I’m not sure anymore.” He shrugged, glancing down at a small bruise that was forming on the outside of his leg from the fall. “It’d be nice to have…someone.”

Kuroo took his toothbrush from Kenma’s hands and popped it back into his mouth. Kenma couldn’t read the expression on his face. “I need to finish getting ready,” Kuroo mumbled, heading back inside. Kenma breathed out slowly and followed him in, careful not to slam the balcony sliding door.

He deleted the app as soon as he could get his fingers to function properly.

. . .

Kuroo slammed this coffee cup on table between him and Bokuto. “So, Bro, how is Akaashi and you doing?” He asked, his voice a little sharper than he intended. Kuroo sat on the chair opposite his best bro and stared intensely.

Brokuto grinned through a mouth full of turkey sandwich. “Bro, so good! We practiced spiking for like four hours last night! Akaashi is so talented! He, like, never gets tired!”

“Yeah, I wonder how he has all that time to spend practice with you and still have time for all the dates he’s been going on.”

Bokuto cocked his head to the side and set the rest of his half-eaten sandwich down. “What are you even talking about, bro? Akaashi isn’t dating anyone. He’d tell me.” Bokuto’s eyebrows pushed together in confusion, but his eyes were worried.

Kuroo felt a pang of guilt in his chest. “Yeah, well Akaashi told Kenma to use this dating app for gay men and Kenma ran into a piece of shit on it,” He explained. He cleared his throat before taking a gulp of coffee. It burned his tongue but was a welcome distraction from whatever was stirring in his gut.

Bokuto shook his head. “Akaashi isn’t seriously dating anyone then. He’d tell me for sure.”

“Maybe it’s not serious,” Kuroo offered. Bokuto’s face went through the five stages of grief quicker than Kuroo’s ever seen. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Then finally, acceptance.

“I trust him,” Bokuto decided, picking back up his sandwich. “Akaashi knows what’s best for himself. So, I trust him.”

Kuroo thought about Kenma. Cute Kenma who did the best he could to blend into the background. Loving Kenma who did whatever Kuroo wanted with only small complaints. Beautiful Kenma who could have any guy he wanted but struggled to find love as an open gay man because he was shy.

“Well tell Akaashi to keep his nose out of Kenma’s love life then. He might be able to handle himself, but Kenma was crying he was so scared the other day.” Kuroo said. No matter what, he didn’t want Kenma to ever be as upset as he was that morning.

Bokuto looked skeptical and said, mouth full of sandwich again, “Are you just saying that because you like Kenma?”

“I don’t like Kenma,” Kuroo corrected, sipping his coffee. The response was almost automatic to anyone who asked now.

“You’re pretty close for being just friends, Bro.”

“You and Akaashi are just as close.”

Bokuto scoffed, “I don’t snuggle with Akaashi. Yet every time I see Kenma he’s either wearing your clothes, or practically wearing you.”

Kuroo stared at his coffee cup as if it had the best response. “Friends…touch each other. It’s pretty normal anyway.”

Bokuto shrugged, sensing this was a sensitive topic that Kuroo didn’t want to think too much about. “Well, I think it’s good that Kenma is interested in dating. I kind of figured he’d just be like your sidekick forever, ya know? Now it’s like he’s ready to have his own life.” Kuroo didn’t respond to him, instead choosing to have a staring contest with his beverage. “How’s Kanna and you?”

Kuroo perked up. “Yeah, we’re good. I mean, we fight sometimes, but that’s normal for couples anyway. She’s good. I’m good. We’re good together.”

Bokuto nodded slowly, “Yeah, Bro. That sounds…yeah. You seem happy though so yeah!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodbye, James. I don't know why I wrote you to begin with. 
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos! I haven't had time to write this week, but next week should be better!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma has fun at work and with his friends.  
> Tora is probably bi.  
> Hair is [ruined].

Work was surprisingly more enjoyable and it wasn’t just the abundance of cats that Kenma got to cuddle. Taketora was still terrible at making drinks but at least he was helpful in the cat lounge. Kenma chuckled at Fukunaga and Taketora who were both holding cats and pretending they were flying.

Checking to make sure no customers needed anything from the coffee side, Kenma hurried into the cat lounge and picked up Leo. The fat tabby meowed in mild protest, his arms and legs swimming through the air. “What are you guys doing?” Kenma asked, still holding Leo mid-air.

“The better question is why did you join us if you don’t know?” Taketora snickered. The cat he was holding, Mew, took his distraction as an opportunity to wiggle free. “Oi, oi, oi!” Taketora shouted, trying to drop Mew as gracefully as possible. The white-haired feline huffed once on her feet again and stalked off to bat a toy around.

Kenma turned Leo over in his arms to hold the cat like a baby. Fukunaga passed the kitten he was holding to a young girl to play with. Unspoken, they were done making cats fly.

“Fatty really loves you, eh, Kenma?” Taketora grinned and rubbed the underside of Leo’s chin.

“He’s just a big oaf.” Kenma nodded. “He was brought into the café when I started and we kind of clicked.” Leo was bigger than all the other cats and being new, he was timid before claiming his own territory. Kenma could relate a little to the cat. Being new and not having any friends at first was tough. He was happy when Leo and another older cat, Turnip, got along. 

The chime on the front door pulled him from his thoughts. A group of young men entered, staring up at the menu board for coffee. They looked to be in the mid-20s; slightly older than the café’s usual clientele of young couples, groups of girls and women, or parents with their children. Kenma put Leo down regretfully. “Ah, Kenma, those are my friends actually. I can go help them.” Taketora muttered, a blush rising on his cheeks.

“Oh, yeah, sure.” Kenma agreed. “Please use the drink cards.” He smiled a little at the exasperated look Taketora threw him before leaving the lounge.

“I’m glad Tora started here,” Fukunaga said. Kenma gave him a questioning look. “You talk more with everyone when Tora is around. I don’t think we would have become friends if it wasn’t for him actually.”

“We would have-“

“I’m not saying we weren’t friends, Kenma,” Fukunaga explained. “I just mean that it feels like we’re more than work friends now. Like, maybe the three of us could go hangout or something?”

Kenma felt awkward without a cat in his arms and he shoved his hands in his pockets. He could feel his face turn red with embarrassment but it didn’t make him want to run away like it usually did. “Yeah, that’d be fun. We should hang out sometime.” The giant smile seemed out of place on Fukunaga’s face but Kenma decided it was a good thing.

His gaze turned back to Taketora, who was fumbling through making drinks for his friends. Fukunaga followed his eyes and chuckled, low. “Kenma, maybe you should go help him.”

Tanaka, Nishinoya, Ennoshita, and Narita were Taketora’s friends he met in high school. Kenma didn’t quite follow the story of how they all met when Taketora didn’t even go to their school or live in district. Tanaka was loud and bald, Nishinoya (or Noya as he insisted) was louder. Ennoshita and Narita were two that Kenma liked though he felt their coffee orders were terrible (who gets vanilla lattes with no espresso? That’s just expensive vanilla milk).

“So, Kozume,” Noya grinned and leaned over the counter. “How is it working with Tora? He’s a big idiot, but he’s a hard worker, right?”

The way Noya was looking so expectantly at him made his cheeks tingle. “Yeah,” Kenma agreed. “Taketora tries very hard.”

“Ouch,” Taketora laughed hardily. “That is the nicest way you’ve ever told me that I mess up.”

“Use the drink cards and maybe you won’t make drink mistakes.” Kenma heard himself say in a teasing tone. Surprised at his own flirting, Kenma blushed. His fingers felt a little shaky around the damp rag he was using to wipe up caramel sauce Taketora spilt.

Taketora’s neck, then face, turned a light pink. Kenma could hear Taketora’s friends laugh behind him and Taketora wouldn’t meet his eyes. Oh, he realized, Taketora might be interested in him. He wondered if Taketora was even gay, considering he was always so nervous around beautiful women customers. Maybe Taketora was just a little curious.

“I’ve been using them,” Taketora whined. “Some of these just don’t make any sense.”

“They do, just be more meticulous with what you are doing.” Kenma rolled his eyes and poked Taketora’s forehead. It felt like his body was moving on automatic and all dials were set to flirty. He made a mental note to talk to Akaashi about it.

“Yeah, Tora,” Ennoshita giggled into his fist. “Give your work your full attention from now on.”

Kenma blushed, feeling watched. “I’m going back to the cats, if you have this under control.” As he walked away, he could hear the teasing remarks. Taketora’s friends.

“Ken is super cute, dude! I can see how you’d be into him,” Noya’s whisper was more of a soft scream.

He had a hard time working next to Taketora without feeling self-conscious even after the other’s friends left. The tough-looking man seemed to always be in his space. Wiping down tables, taking out the trash, even cleaning the litter boxes for Fukunaga. Taketora and his stupid bushing grin and strong arms that were exposed when he rolled up his sleeves.

Fukunaga refilled the last of the cat food bowls and stood near the back door. “Thanks for the help today,” He said politely. Taketora gave a nod from where he stood, doing the last of the dishes. “Maybe we can see a movie sometime.”

“Depends on the movie,” Kenma replied. “Nothing stupid.”

“The new superhero movie then?” Taketora suggested, feeling antsy. Kenma watched him shift his weight from leg to leg a few times.

Fukunaga looked at him for a reply, obviously holding off on going home until they made plans. “I’m free this Saturday,” Kenma said, hesitantly. His stomach ached in a good way; excitement he decided. Excitement that he was making plans with friends for the first time and it wasn’t Kuroo taking the lead.

“Saturday at four works for me,” Fukunaga offered, looking at Taketora now.

“Yeah, I’m off.”

Kenma held his tongue that Taketora had weekends off lately because they were the café’s busiest days and Mei couldn’t put someone who made so many mistakes still on that shift.

“Let’s meet here at four then.” Fukunaga smiled, his small eyebrows raised slightly like he was pleased.

Kenma peered at Taketora as he dried the pastry platters. A wobbly smile was plastered on his tan face and he looked to be struggling to compose his glee.

Kenma set the alarm and ushered Taketora out in their usual closing routine. The wind was slightly chilly; he pulled at the hoodie to better cover his neck. Taketora paused near the end of the street where they usually part. Taketora had to take a train back home while Kenma lucked out and could walk the few cold blocks back to the apartment.

“Tora,” Kenma called out softly just as Taketora turned his back. Dark brown eyes whipped back around to meet his own golden ones. “I’m looking forward to the movie on Saturday.” Kenma felt himself blush again and was thankful that today was Thursday and tomorrow he had a half shift with Mei in the afternoon instead of a closing one with Tora.

“You called me Tora,” Tora grinned too-wide. He was breathing weird, like he was trying to laugh but catch his breath at the same time. “You’re calling me Tora now?” Kenma ducked slightly as Tora lunged forward and captured him in a half hug, half headlock. “Oh shit.” Kenma could hear Tora’s heart race against his ear and he couldn’t fight back his own grin.

Kenma wiggled free and smoothed down his hair. “You told me to.” He reminded.

Tora grinned back and said, “Yeah. I definitely did.”

_ _ _

There was something different about Kenma. Kuroo felt worry building up in his chest as he watched Kenma come home from work Friday afternoon late, and with a bag from the corner market in his hands. His eyes were focused, and Kuroo had only seen that expression when Kenma played a new game or the few matches they had in high school against Shrimpy’s team.

“Good day at work?” Kuroo called out from the couch. Kenma snuck into their bathroom quietly with a nod. Anxiety building, Kuroo jumped over their couch and knocked on the bathroom door. “Oi, Kenma. What are you doing in there?”

“Nothing.” Was the soft reply.

“I know you aren’t taking a shit, it’s not 3pm.”

“Gross, Kuroo.”

Kuroo smirked, leaning against the door now. “You can tell me if it’s a hemorrhoid.”

Scowling, Kenma threw open the door and Kuroo almost fell over. He caught himself and brushed off the misstep as usual. “What’s your obsession with asking me about hemorrhoids?”

Kuroo shrugged, a sly smile on his face as he slipped into the bathroom. Kenma was mixing hair color and bleach on the counter. “What’s with the beauty salon going on?”

“Just felt like it.”

Kuroo hummed, nodding. “Want any help?”

Kenma scrunched up his nose at the thought of Kuroo pulling at his hair with latex gloves and getting bleach all over his clothes. “No thanks,” He said.

Kuroo sat on the edge of their tub and watched as Kenma sectioned off his hair carefully. His fingers were long for his size and memorizing as they twirled hair into clips. Kenma flushed from being watched, but kept his focus on what he was doing in the mirror. Bleach, rinse, then toner and dye. He looked up the instructions on his phone at work on a whim.

Bleach applied to his roots, Kenma set an alarm on his phone and finally turned to face his best friend. Kuroo’s smile was soft, like he was enjoying watching Kenma dye his hair rather than just being amused. This warm and loving look on his face was Kenma’s favorite expression of Kuroo’s. He liked to pretend that is was more than just friendship-love even though the thought of more never would cross Kuroo’s mind for real.

“What sparked this?” Kuroo finally spoke, resting his chin in his hands.

“I just felt like a change.”

Kuroo’s eyes narrowed, his smile turning cold. “Do you have a date or something?”

Kenma shifted his gaze back to the mirror. His roots were already lightening to a yellow blonde. “It’s…not a date.” He finally whispered. It wasn’t clear who he was telling though; himself or Kuroo.

“It’s okay if it’s a date. It’s okay to be excited.” Kuroo said. He felt his face turn to stone and hoped Kenma wouldn’t notice the forced grin. His stomach was churning and his head was starting to sweat as he thought about Kenma going out this weekend and looking forward to it.

“It’s not a date.”

“It’s okay if it is a date.”

“It’s not though.” Kenma’s voice as insistent. He motioned to Kuroo to get up so he could use the shower head. “It’s just a movie with friends from work.”

“Friends from work?” Kuroo echoed.

Kenma blushed and nodded. “Yeah, Tora and Fukunaga.” He explained. “We…have fun.” He was embarrassed to admit this for some reason.

Kuroo stretched before lightly punching Kenma on the shoulder. “Well, if it’s ever a date, you can tell me.”

Kenma rolled his eyes, “whatever, dad.”

“Oo,” Kuroo snickered, “That’s kinky, Kenma. I could get into that.”

Kenma promptly kicked Kuroo out of the bathroom, glaring and red-faced.

His hair did not turn out quite how he expected. Actually, it wasn’t how he expected it at all.

It was a fair shade of blue.

Fuck.

Kenma sighed, lifting sections of lilac-blue hair out of his face. At least he didn’t miss any spots; but now his entire head was pastel. Kuroo was going to laugh so loud and gross at this, he thought to himself. Preparing for the worst, he inched out of the bathroom and into their bedroom. Kenma quickly threw on a hoodie and pulled the hood tight over his newly pastel’d head.

“Oi,” Kuroo practically shouted from the couch, springing up and over like a buff gazelle. “Let me see the finished result.”

“No, I’m good. Thanks,” Kenma replied quickly, searching for his wallet and keys.

Kuroo slammed his hand over their front door, keeping it closed and locking Kenma into the corner with this body. Kenma wished he could wipe that stupid sly grin off Kuroo’s face. “Let me see?” Kuroo asked but it didn’t sound like a question.

Kenma lowered the hood, face scrunched up. “Just laugh and get done with it.”

Kuroo’s smirk fell and was replaced with shock then embarrassment. “I’m not going to laugh. It looks good,” He ruffled Kenma’s hair playfully as he replied. “You look good,” He added softly.

Pulling his hood back up to avoid Kuroo’s eyes, Kenma nodded.

_ _ _

Taketora was the first there, standing outside the café with his hands stuffed into his jacket pockets. His usual curly mohawk was straightened and standing up in the air. Kenma figured Tora must have tried to dress up a little because, in addition to the punk rock hairstyle, he was wearing ironed jeans and a green polo.

“Your clothes don’t match your head,” Kenma said, a small laugh escaping his throat.

Tora’s face lit up, grinning too wide. “Yeah, I’ve heard that before.” He looked Kenma up and down, a blush forming on his cheeks. “You always wear like the same thing though.”

Kenma looked down at his usual skinny jeans and vans before adjusting the cat-eared hoodie over his hair better. “I think my style is comfortable.” He explained.

“Yeah, it suits you.”

“What suits who?” Fukunaga asked, leaving the café after his shift.

Tora cleared his throat and Kenma took it as a sign that the topic is dropped. “Nothing,” Tora replied and Kenma shrugged in response.

“The movie isn’t until seven, so maybe we should go eat and walk around?”

Kenma nodded but inside he felt like he made the biggest mistake of his like. It was just after four now. That was three hours of just hanging out, then add on about three hours at the theater probably, and finally home. He longed for his DS already and cursed himself for choosing to be social and leave it home. Thank god for the internet and mobile gaming.

“We could chill inside with the cats?” Tora suggested, nodding his head towards their work.

“You want to hang out at work?” Kenma scrunched his nose.

Fukunaga raised his hand before speaking, “There is this arcade bar that had pretty good food a few blocks from the theater.”

Perking up at the idea of playing arcade games, Kenma’s expression brightened. Tora grinned and bumped his shoulder against Kenma’s just hard enough to force him to lean to one side. Kenma raised an eyebrow and returned to nudge before picking up his pace just enough to follow alongside Fukunaga and nudge him as well. Kenma liked the deep chuckles from his new friends and even though he didn’t have Kuroo to help alleviate potential social awkward silences, he was suddenly excited to have a group that was all his own.

Sure, Hinata was Kenma’s friend, but he was so far away that Kenma’s only close friends were the ones he made through Kuroo. He has Akaashi but they rarely went anywhere beside a coffee shop or book store to spend time together. Tora and Fukunaga were all Kenma’s. He didn’t feel pressured to talk about intimate details of his life, or break the silence between them. They just…were. It was fun.

The arcade Fukunaga led them to wasn’t very busy so early in the evening which Kenma liked. The original Mortal Combat was calling his name in the corner, but they decided to get food early before the kitchen gets busy. The menu was a fusion of American bar food and Japanese ingredients.

“Want to get an eel pizza?”

“I prefer potato, bacon and mayo on pizza.”

“They have shrimp burgers with ramen buns!”

“Wouldn’t that just fall apart?”

“Yeah probably but it’s the novelty of it!”

“Tora, I’m not doing that.”

“What’s a street taco?”

“Maybe we have to eat them outside?”

Kenma sighed, dropping the menu onto the table. “I’m getting eel pizza with potato and mayo.” He reported. Fukunaga shrugged, still thinking about bacon in mayo sauces clearly.

Tora snickered, “Then I’m getting the ramen shrimp burger with wasabi sauce.”

“Won’t that be too spicy?”

“I can handle it!” Tora argued back. Kenma exchanged looks with Fukunaga who smiled.

In the end, Tora’s burger fell apart after the first bite but he said it tasted amazing anyway. Kenma liked the pizza he ordered, but it was overly filling by himself. He saw Tora eyeing the leftovers and quietly slide the tray over so he could finish it off. Fukunaga gave him a knowing look that Kenma chose to ignore.

“Are you cold, Kenma?” Fukunaga asked, pointing to his own head. It took Kenma a minute to realize Fukunaga was referring to his hood over his head.

Kenma pulled the hood down further just as Tora pulled it back. He tugged down harder but was meet with resistance and a smug Tora intent on a tug of war. “Tora!” Kenma snapped, feeling the hood get pulled from his fingers. His pastel hair fell from the small hair tie that kept it back.

“Whoa,” Tora whispered once the hood fell to Kenma’s shoulders. “Your hair!”

Kenma’s heart raced as he tried to read their expressions. Fukunga looked interested. Tora stuttered out something that Kenma didn’t heart as his face turned a light pink. “It was an accident,” Kenma explained. He smoothed his frizzed hair down and pulled it back into the hair tie.

“It suits you,” Fukunaga said.

Kenma felt himself blush so he busied himself by taking a long gulp of the beers Tora order for them. “Thanks,” He mumbled against the glass. Fukunaga nodded.

Tora coughed into his elbow, nodding. “You look good, Ken,” He complimented.

Kenma choked on his beer and had to slam his fist against his chest a few times to clear his airway properly. “Thanks,” He wheezed. His mind raced with the new nickname. No one ever gave him an actual nickname before – he refused to count Kuroo calling him ‘Kitten’ on occasion.

“Let’s get another beer and play some games,” Tora shouted, dissolving the awkward atmosphere that existed between them.

Kenma managed to beat Fukunaga and Tora in every game except air hockey. He blamed it on the third beer he gulped down under pressure of his work friends. Fukunaga wasn’t great with racing games, but he was decent at puzzels. Tora was good at fighting games only and Kenma suspected it was because he just smashed all the buttons until he landed a combo.

Tora nudged his shoulder playfully while they fought each other in Mortal Combat for the seventh time while Fukunaga watched eagerly. Kenma pushed back softly, keeping his eyes on the machine so that Tora’s vigorous pushing of all the buttons wouldn’t actually land a hit. Tora’s shoulder dug into his more.

“Cheating won’t help you win against me,” Kenma scolded, his tone was teasing.

Tora felt a shiver run down his spine and he pressed harder, trying to keep their bodies close under the guise winning the round. “Whose cheating? Not I.”

“Says the cat.” Fukunaga quipped.

Tora pressed his cheek against Kenma’s head, pushing him more and drawing Kenma’s eyes from the screen just long enough that Tora could land a combo. “Distracted?” He snickered, moving his face reluctantly from lilac blue hair.

Kenma snorted, “Cheating!”

“Cheating!” Fukunaga agreed.

Kenma’s eyes focused and he unleashed a combo that won him the final round and game. “I told you cheating wouldn’t help you against me,” He said, turning to Tora fully.

“It’s time for the movie,” Tora replied, sticking his tongue out. He threw his arms around their necks and pulled both towards the exit.

The movie was crowded, as Kenma expected. They chose to sit in the very back after Kenma pointed out how Tora’s hair might be obtrusive to someone else behind them. He sat squished between Tora and Fukunaga. Fukunaga was intent on watching all the previews and Kenma liked watching his face change slightly when he clearly wasn’t interested in one. Tora scooped a handful of popcorn from the tub in his lap into his wide mouth.

Kenma scrunched his nose at the crumbs of kernels that fell from Tora’s mouth. Tora gave him an expression that clearly said, ‘what?’ before grinning. He shoved a handful of popcorn towards Kenma’s face in jest but, thankfully, didn’t shove it down Kenma’s hoodie like he thought Tora would.

The walk back was quiet and Fukunaga and Kenma trailed behind Tora, walking side by side. Tora was ranting about some minor plot detail that Kenma didn’t personally find to be that out of character, but he wasn’t the biggest fan of the comics so he stayed silent. He watched Tora throw his arms around in protest, his back muscles pulling his shirt tight. Tora’s back was strong and wide while Kuroo’s was muscular and long in a way that reminded Kenma of a panther. Kenma bit the inside of his mouth and scolded himself to stop comparing the two.

“Thanks for hanging out today,” Fukunaga said, bowing slightly once they reached the café. Tora shouted a goodbye while Kenma nodded politely, thanking for the invitation.

Tora crossed his arms over his chest. “Are you going home?” He asked.

Kenma glanced at his phone. It was late, though he’d probably stay up later anyway just to play a game or two on the computer. He also had a missed text from Kuroo that he was choosing to ignore. “I should head home,” Kenma said slowly. “But I had fun tonight, Tora.” He added.

Tora’s grin slipped from his face, sending a rush of worry into Kenma’s stomach. “Ken,” Tora said, using the nickname that Kenma wasn’t sure if he liked or not, “I actually have a personal question to ask?” He sounded unsure. Kenma widened his stance, as if it would help brace himself mentally for whatever Tora had to say next. “I…uhh…,” Tora stammered, “So…are you gay?” He coughed into his elbow awkwardly.

A widened stance did not help Kenma brace himself mentally. Kenma’s shoulders rose up to cover his ears and he could feel himself looking like an idiot hunched over but it alleviated anxiety. “Um,” Kenma replied, hesitantly, “…yes.”

Tora let out a sigh and started laughing. Kenma wasn’t sure if he was laughing at himself or at Kenma, and he was afraid to ask. “Phew, okay good. Fuck!” Tora shouted, still giggling to himself. He grinned too wide, saying, “I like you, so yeah.”

Kenma thought his heart was going to beat right out of his chest. His phone vibrated angrily in his pocket – Kuroo checking to see when he was coming home.

_ _ _

 

What the frick frack? I can't apologize enough, really.

If anyone knows date ideas or what people say when they flirt, ideas are very welcome. I've been out of the game for so long, I sat on my couch and wondered if sharing a bag of popcorn was flirty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn't have much time to write this week. Mostly because I was watching TV and making pizza (then eating that pizza). So I fear chapter five will not be ready by next week. That's my bad, guys! Ooopsadoodle.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just smut and not important plot at all. Skip if that's your fancy - but I have a feeling if you've read up until now, you are here for this anyway?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, guess who mixed up two cats? Leo and Boss are both fat tabbies at the very least... Continuity errors early on a Sunday morning!  
> Also, sorry about this chapter. I wasn't actually done writing so you get this instead. My bad. I'd lie and say it won't happen again, but it will.

Kuroo was waiting at home with pizza and beer. Kenma yanked his hoodie over his head, tossing it over the couch and settling down beside his best friend. He wasn’t even hungry, but Kuroo got seafood mix and he had a hard time resisting oozing cheese on squid and tuna. Kuroo took a quick sip of beer before turning on the PS4. Left 4 Dead’s opening page credits played though Kenma didn’t pay attention.

“Seriously?” He asked, mouth full of cheese, seafood, and mayo.

“We haven’t finish it.” Kuroo smirked.

“Yeah but you get freaked out every time we play and scream until we finish the level.”

Kuroo gasped, “Do not.” They forgo the usual back and forth and Kenma picked up his controller.

Kuroo shouted halfway through the level they left off on and Kenma spent the rest of the game trying to give instructions over the incessant screams. “To your right, Kuro! No! The right! The right! AGH!” Kenma groaned, leaning forward in his spot on the couch. His character was attacked and no one was left to heal him. The level ended a total failure like always.

“Okay,” Kuroo said, slowly uncurling from the ball he turned himself into. “Maybe I do scream during this game.”

Kenma gave him a look that could only say, ‘you think?’.

“I’m going to play Assassins Creed instead.” Kenma sighed. He changed the game and resettled into a comfortable spot on the couch – tucked into the corner near the armrest to support his weight.

“Can I watch?”

Kenma looked around their tiny apartment. “Would you have a choice not to?” It wasn’t like there were many places for Kuroo to go to avoid watching Kenma play a game. Their room maybe, but considering it only fit their clothes and their beds, it was a boring room to be cooped up in.

“I could study?”

Kenma hummed in reply and started his game. Kuroo liked watching Kenma play video games. People thought Kenma was expressionless, but Kuroo could see the tiny changes in his face every time something new happened. A twitch of the mouth or his left eye. The way his adam’s apple bobbed when concentrating. His shoulders that curled inward if he started to lose but he still had hope he could win.

“Don’t stare at me,” Kenma commanded, not bothering to look up.

Kuroo smiled before finishing his beer in one go. He lived for moments like this with Kenma. The nights where they could pig out on greasy food and beer, play games, and no one else existed in their world.

Kenma’s pastel blue hair was draped over his shoulder in a small braid. The ends were fried from all the bleach he used, but the rest looked soft. It was soft, Kuroo knew for a fact. He reached out and rubbed the round head under all that hair. Kenma grunted and tried to shake him off but didn’t put up much of a fight.

Kanna would have screamed if Kuroo touched her hair like this. She was very particular on how it looked all the time. Not that Kuroo minded – Kanna’s hair was beautiful and shiny. She always had it pinned nicely in some new style that Kuroo didn’t know what to call. Still, he wished she would just let go and relax. He sometimes felt like he was dating a doll instead of a human.

Dating.

His stomach flipped as he contemplated that word and meaning; eyes glazing over Kenma’s build. The baggy t-shirt did plenty to hide Kenma’s lithe shape. He wondered if it really counted as cheating if Kanna and him never really talked about labels or exclusivity. For all he knew, she was out right now with someone else. Besides, Kenma didn’t count. He wasn’t sure why, but he knew Kenma didn’t count for him. It was just something they did to let off steam. Kenma and him did whatever they wanted and never made it weird afterwards. It wasn’t like Kuroo was gay or anything – he was just experiencing all the things that he couldn’t with Kanna. Kanna liked sex one way and that was fine with Kuroo. It got the job done and he didn’t want to pressure her after she said no to a few of his ideas. Kenma was how he got to try out everything he wanted. That’s what friends did – they helped each other out.

Anyways, comparing Kenma and Kanna would be like comparing volleyball to grilled fish. Not possible.

Kenma reached a saving point and paused the game. “You turned into a space cadet.”

Kuroo grinned, lips curling playfully at the corners. “That hair color really suits you.” Kenma blushed and Kuroo could feel himself get excited. Kenma looked good flushed pink. He adjusted his chub in his sweatpants; smirking as Kenma watched his hands. “Kenma,” He said softly, though his sly grin was anything but innocent and gentle. Kenma loved that contrast in Kuroo.

He leaned towards the middle of the couch, settling just a few inches from Kuroo’s face. “Kuro,” Kenma replied, breathy. Kuroo moved so their noses were barely touching. Kenma’s race was pounding in his chest. Kenma both loved and hated the giant game of chicken they played. Whoever acted first lost in his mind. Kuroo licked his lips, his eyelids sleepy and his gaze low to stare into Kenma’s eyes. Shit, he’s definitely losing.

Kenma, hating to lose in any game, chewed the bottom of his lip. Kuroo moved forward on him, forcing Kenma to lean back now to keep the space between their faces and bodies. His eyes shifted down, seeing the bulge in Kuroo’s sweats before moving back up to meet his eyes. Kuroo was smirking.

He raised an eyebrow, or well tried to at least. He never seemed to be able to raise one on its own successfully. Kenma cringed internally, hoping his face was at least sexy.

Kuroo palmed himself through his pants. Kenma gulped and tried not to let his eyes wander back down. Kuroo would do anything to win the game.

“What’s wrong, Kitten?”

His voice sounded loud compared to the soft background noise of the game paused. Kenma closed his eyes and tried to clear his head. It was difficult when his own erection was a distraction. “Are you seriously going to jerk it over me, right now?” He finally said, snorting a little.

Kuroo’s smirk told Kenma he clearly thought he was winning whatever this way right now. “Over you, on you, in you. Whatever you want.”

Shit, Kenma thought, he walked into that one. He closed his eyes tightly and leaned his head back against the armrest. He could hear Kuroo shift over him fully, but not touching him yet. The couch dipped where Kuroo’s hands pressed in to steady himself.

“Kenma, tell me what you want?”

_Dump Kanna, admit you are at least bi-sexual, and date me and no one else._ Kenma thought angerly and bit the inside of his cheek to make sure he never actually said it out loud. “What do you want, Kuro?”

Kuroo’s dick twitched. “Can I…uh…can I fuck your throat?” The way he asked didn’t come out sly and sexy like he wanted. Kuroo sat back on his heels, his face flushed with embarrassment.

“Oh,” Kenma said slowly. Kuroo wanted to punch himself in the face.

Kanna screamed at him for half an hour about how degrading and selfish the act was. He wondered if he made Kenma feel degraded by asking. “Sorry, I –“, Kuroo started to apologize but was interrupted.

“Yeah okay.” Kenma agreed. His face was red and he was twiddling his fingers together out of embarrassment. “Um, just let me get into a better position?”

Kuroo nodded dumbly. Inside he was cheering. A party of inner Kuroo’s in his brain were dancing, blowing noisy whistles and popping balloons in celebration.

“Um,” Kenma interrupted his inner party. “Lay back though.”

Kuroo laid flat on the couch, his feet dangling over the armrest. His toes touched the lamp on the end table he momentarily worried about kicking it off. He decided to forget about the breakable lamp though when Kenma yanked his sweatpants down and settled over him in the 69-position.

“Your dick is curved, so I figured it would be easier this way,” Kenma explained, like he had to.

“Get naked too,” Kuroo suggested, already pealing down Kenma’s tight jeans.

“It’s not throat fucking if we just 69, Kuro.”

“I don’t care.” Kuroo snorted, slapping Kenma’s bare ass. Kenma got up to shimmy out of the jeans awkwardly.

Kenma licked the tip to spread precum around. “One tap means you can take over and two taps means stop, okay?” He told Kuroo. Kuroo tapped his outer thigh once for ‘go’. Kenma put his mouth over Kuroo’s erection, letting his tongue flatten along the base as he eased it further in. His eyes watered as he got closer to stimulating his gag reflex. Pausing to breathe, Kenma tried to focus on the licks Kuroo was giving to his balls instead of the dick in his own mouth. Feeling confident again, he eased down further, humming to relax his own throat open. Kuroo groaned behind him, toes clenching.

Breathing hard through his nose, Kenma pushed further and hummed again. Saliva pooled in his mouth and he parted his lips to let some dribble out. “Shit, Kitten,” Kuroo moaned. Kenma paused to enjoy the tongue around his hole. The warm tongue flicked up and down against the rim before flattening with wave like motions. Kenma’s spine felt weak from pleasure. He tapped once, hard, on Kuroo’s leg to give him the okay.

Kenma held himself steady with his elbows as Kuroo thrusted up and down. His eyes watered and his throat burned but he didn’t want to stop. Kuroo’s hands were tight around his hips as he buried his tongue inside. It was too much and not enough all at once. He wiggled his hips a little and Kuroo seemed to read his mind, reaching around his stomach to slowly work his dick in time with his tongue’s thrusting.

Kuroo was doing all the work. Thrusting up to fuck Kenma’s throat while his tongue fucked Kenma’s ass. Kenma moaned, his dick leaking down Kuroo’s wrist. His throat burned and he was pretty sure his nose was running now too. Kuroo’s tongue flicked inside him, his hole was wet and stretching open.

Kuroo pulled back slightly so he could fit one finger in alongside his tongue. Kenma squirmed, panting and whimpering over Kuroo’s cock. Kuroo grunted, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to do mental math to prevent himself from cumming. He wanted this to last so much longer but Kenma’s throat was so tight and wet and the whimpering was getting to his head.

He curled his fingers inside, rubbing the ridged area along the wall, feeling for the walnut sized gland. Finding it, Kuroo rubbed circles around Kenma’s prostate. The whimpering moans got louder. Kenma was breathing heavily through his nose, trying to relax his throat but every thrust of Kuroo’s fingers had him tightening his entire body like wire around a rod.

Kuroo pulled back, his finger till buried deep inside. “Cum for me, Kitten. Cum all over.” The words of encouragement in that silky tone pushed Kenma over the edge. Kuroo squeezed his hand around Kenma’s dick, cum pouring out. Kenma’s thighs shook from his climax; collapsing on top of Kuroo. Kuroo pulled his finger out and steadied Kenma’s body with his hands as he thrust vigorously. Tears ran down Kenma’s face as warm cum gushed down his throat. He slowly pulled his head back, throat sore. Kuroo covered his face his with forearms, chuckling. “Oh fuck,” Kuroo laughed. “What the fuck, that was amazing.”

Kenma made a face like he was going to barf before standing up. His legs wobbled slightly. “I need a drink,” He said, grabbing his, now warm, beer from the end table. His voice was rough. “Ugh, it felt like cum was stuck back there.” He sighed after chugging the whole beer down. It hurt to talk.

Kuroo frowned, pulling his sweats back up his hips. He had cum on his shirt but Kenma didn’t have the strength to point it out or laugh at him. “Your voice sounds weird. Let me look at your throat.” He turned the flashlight on his phone on and motioned Kenma to lay back and open his mouth. “Say, ahh.”

Kenma rolled his eyes but did as he was told. Kuroo looked guilty as he checked Kenma’s throat. “So?” Kenma asked, pulling back.

“I think I bruised your throat.” Kuroo admitted. His face was screwed up like he was about to cry. “Kenma, I’m so sorry-“

“It’s fine, Kuro.” Kenma rasped out. He winced at his voice. He definitely should have tapped twice, but he thought it was supposed to hurt at least a little. “I agreed to it and I didn’t tap.”

“I’ll make tea,” Kuroo said, sighing. He peeled off his shirt and threw it in the bathroom.

Kenma checked his phone while the kettle started to hum on the stove. Two texts from Tora. His chest hurt more than his throat now.

Tora: I had a lot of fun with you even though you kicked my ass in every game  
Tora: You don’t have to have an answer right away, but maybe we can do something just us? Like a date. Unless your answer is no. Then like just as friends or whatever.

Kenma told Kuroo he was going to skip tea and just get some sleep instead. Curling up in bed, Kenma clutched his phone to his chest and cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again! I finally had time to write and I got sick. Hopefully I can get a better chapter out next week. Or maybe that will also be filler trash. Who knows?!


	6. Chapter 6

Coming to you late in the day, sorry! Thank you for all the comments, kudos, and hits on this so far. Close to breaking 1k hits so I'm feeling pumped!

___

Kuroo’s eyes squeezed shut as he rolled over, panting. Kanna shifted from under him and pulled her sheets back up to her armpits. “How…uh…how was it?” Kuroo grunted. He didn’t know why he was asking honestly. He was there. He knew it was lackluster at best. He couldn’t get himself into it this time.

“Fine,” she replied, smoothing her hair down. Kuroo liked her hair. It was the main reason he approached her in the library.

Kuroo nodded a few times, sitting up and scanning the floor for his jeans. “Are we hanging out later?”

“I have a paper.” Kanna explained. “Sunday night?”

“I have a volleyball game with Bokuto,” Kuroo sighed.

“You’re never available for an actual date,” She snapped. “All we do is study or have sex, Kuroo. Are you ashamed to be with me?”

“Be with you? What the hell are you talking about?”

She rolled her eyes. The words left her tongue bitterly, “It’s like you don’t even want to be my boyfriend.” Kanna sighed dramatically, the sheets pooled around her waist as she sat up. “Can’t we just go out with like other people? I mean, I haven’t even met your roommate. I thought you said he was your best friend. I can’t believe you wouldn’t introduce us; it’s so rude.”

“Kenma doesn’t like new people,” Kuroo supplied automatically. He fumbled with his sweatshirt and felt his stomach drop when he realized it was the chemistry pun sweatshirt that Kenma bought him for his birthday last year. ‘I made a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.’

“Well I have to meet him sometime, right? I wouldn’t say I’m new anymore…”

Kuroo nodded, focusing on a piece of lint on the sweatshirt. His mind was racing be he couldn’t focus his thoughts and lint seemed to be the only focal point he had right now. He tried to imagine Kenma and Kanna meeting in a scenario that didn’t leave him wanting to puke his guts out. “Maybe a movie or something. I’ll talk to Kenma about it but don’t get your hopes up. He really doesn’t like socializing.”

Kanna perked up. “Movie? I’d go to that. Afterwards we can get drinks?”

“Okay, cool,” He agreed. It didn’t feel that cool. He’d much rather stick to his usual night plans spent with Kenma watching crappy TV and kicking each other on the couch. Kuroo was pretty sure he was making a mistake. “Yeah, I’ll talk to Kenma.” Kuroo just kept nodding and felt foolish. He thought he might vomit if he said anything more.

_ _ _

“Pain in the ass Kuroo told Koutaro that I’m sleeping around,” Akaashi snapped, dropping into the chair at their usual café. Kenma felt his soul leave his body from surprise in an otherwise quiet game. Akaashi tour angerly into his sandwich and he continued to rant. “Kou questioned me forever about it!”

“So you finally talked to Bokuto about something other than volleyball?”

“No, he used volleyball analogies to allude to gay sex.”

Kenma hummed, pensive. “How…? How…does someone refer to gay sex in volleyball terms only?”

“Don’t make me explain,” Akaashi snorted. “He was so red all over I had to take pity on him and finally agree to always use protection – or ‘knee pads’ as he kept trying to refer to condoms as.” Kenma snorted into his mug, forcing the latte to splash up onto his nose. He dabbed his face dry with his sleeve as best he could between chuckling. Akaashi pouted, “Hey, seriously though. I’m sorry I pushed you to download that app. Koutaro told me that Kuroo was really concerned for your safety.”

Kenma shrugged. He didn’t know what to say but he hoped Akaashi would understand the simple gesture to mean everything was water under the bridge. So instead, he changed the subject. “So, I think I met someone?” Kenma cringed that his tone formed a question instead of a confident statement.

“You think?” Akaashi asked, a coy smile graced his lips as he leaned over the table. “Wait, did you meet someone on that app? Koutaro said you deleted it!”

“At work!” Kenma explained, his voice in a whisper; as if someone from work would appear over his shoulder. “He said he liked me and we traded phone numbers and he’s really flirty over text.”

“Do tell more, please.”

“He calls me Ken and it’s weird but also kind of turning me on?” Kenma decided to leave out the fact that Tora added him on social media as well and Kenma spent an entire evening scrolling through what felt like hundreds of pictures of Tora without a shirt. Tora at the beach with all those friends that came into the café. Tora playing volleyball without a shirt. Tora, shirtless of course, and crushing a can of beer against his head. Okay, that last one wasn’t as sexy, but Kenma still fantasized about his biceps.

“Ken?” Akaashi tried out and Kenma felt his face scrunch up with disgust. “Well, okay then. What’s his name?”

“Tora” Kenma whispered, he could feel himself blush. “He said he likes me at least. So, I think he would want a reply, right? What do I do?” His stomach fluttered just saying Tora’s name. He still wasn’t sure if it was from a crush or guilt or both.

Rolling his eyes, Akaashi said, “Obviously date him.” Kenma felt his face burn red with embarrassment as hid his smile behind his mug; Akaashi wiggled his eyebrows. “I might go on a second date with this guy I hooked up with.” Akaashi said and Kenma was glad that Akaashi seemed to know when he wanted the subject to change.

“A second date? I thought you were just playing around,” Kenma teased. He studied Akaashi across from him, who shifted awkwardly in his seat. His round, boyish features from high school turned into sharp, manly jawline and a straight nose. Kenma was always jealous of Akaashi’s features. Almond eyes, small pout and an angled jaw. His own looked too round to be conventual attractive. He couldn’t stop his mind from wandering and thinking about if Tora and Kuroo liked round faces or small ones. He felt the urge to pinch himself afterwards.

“Well I wouldn’t have considered a second date but in the morning, he wrapped his massive arms around me – seriously, Kenma, it was like being pinned down by a tree trunk – and asked to see me again.”

“I’m picturing a literal tree falling on you in the forest now.”

“Don’t be a smart ass.”

Kenma shrugged nonchalantly before finishing his latte. “I have to head to work,” He said. “I’ll text you later. Tell me more about tree trunk arm guy.” Akaashi crumpled up a napkin and tossed at playfully at Kenma.

The cat café was busy when Kenma walked in for his shift. He was pleasantly buzzed with caffeine already and thankful for the apple turnover he inhaled earlier. Tora was chatting with Mei behind the counter. He was finally being trained on how to be primary closer for the café and Kenma was secretly glad that he didn’t have to play trainer tonight. He hated counting down cash drawers and filling out banking slips, and hated training others how to do it even more.

Tora looked flustered and confused. Kenma made a mental note to make a quick step-by-step guide for him later. There was a lot to remember as the main closer.

Boss brushed up against Kenma’s leg as he entered the lounge. He nodded at Touma who looked relieved to get to go home for the night. Boss chattered at his feet; Kenma took pitty and picked the fat cat up for a quick cuddle.

He wished he could have a cat at their apartment. He would have taken Boss home on their first day together, but their space was too small already and the landlord would throw a fit if he was caught. Still, he liked spending his work days with the cats and was excited when they got adopted out to nice families.

“Fatty ate Ginger’s lunch today,” Touma tutted, though he still stroked Boss’ head affectionately. Kenma hummed in understanding. Boss ate all the other cat’s food if given the chance.

“Can I pet the kitty?” A little girl wearing a dress with tiny cat faces asked. Touma grinned as he slipped away, officially shifting cat lounge duties to Kenma.

Kenma bent down so the little girl could run her fingers through Boss’ fur. The fat cat purred in Kenma’s arms, sending the little girl into a squealing fit of giggles. “He likes it behind his ear the best,” Kenma spoke softly and slowly. She touched behind Boss’ ear and the purring got louder.

“I love him!”

Kenma smiled and nodded. “Yeah me too.”

He liked moments like this at his job. Kenma didn’t think he was good with people in general. He was usually worried about what they thought of him and trying to go unnoticed. But kids and cat lovers were different. The customers at the cat café were soft spoken and just enjoyed being in a nice atmosphere to relieve stress and take cute pictures.

The little girl skipped back to her mom, who was ready with a cat toy for her to entertain a Bengal kitten with.

“You are surprisingly good with kids, Ken,” Tora said, crouching down. Kenma let Boss slip through his arms and the cat rolled to his side to get his stomach scratched.

“I like kids,” Kenma explained as some hesitation. “They are easy to understand.”

“Do you want to have kids?” Tora asked.

The question hit Kenma’s stomach like an anvil.  It was innocent in tone and intention. “I can’t have kids,” He replied, forcing a chuckled out from his lips.

Tora looked thoughtful. “Hm, yeah. I guess two guys can’t physically have a baby.”

“Very accurate according to medical science and technology,” Kenma said. He hoped his tone was playful like he intended and not bitter like how he suddenly felt.

“You could adopt a bunch of cats instead. They act like mean toddlers anyway,” Tora suggested. He grinned, blushing, “I’d adopt cat babies with you.”

Kenma knocked shoulders with Tora, blushing too now. “Get back to work, Tora.”

He grinned wider and left the lounge. Kenma could see him get scolded for goofing around by Mei but he knew from experience that her warnings were more like teasing with a mild serious tone. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he checked if Mei was watching before checking his messages. Kuroo usually knew not to text him at work; which means that something was on his mind and he needed to say it before he exploded.

Kenma’s heart sank a little as he opened the message.

Kuro: Hey Kanna wants to meet you or something.

_‘Or something’_ could may as well be ‘ _murder you slowly for having sex with her maybe-boyfriend’_. Kenma really didn’t think he could stomach an awkward meeting with Kuroo’s probably-girlfriend. He glanced at Tora out of the corner of his eye and his lungs ached in his chest with a mixture of anxiety, guilt, and excitement. The logical side of his brain was repeating that this is for the best; Kuroo can have his perfect, smart girlfriend and Kenma can give Tora the full chance and attention he deserves. Then the weird game they play can end and Kuroo will never crawl into his bed to snuggle and rub dicks together ever again.

Kenma: Okay

It wasn’t actually okay. Kenma felt like throwing up. He breathed evenly in through his nose and out through his mouth until his heart settled back to a normal pace. The two families that were in the lounge were in the back corners where all the furniture was and chatting normally – unaware of his inner turmoil. He tried to focus on pretending to be normal but he was pretty sure if any of them looked over they’d see a lilac haired man trying not to cry near the entrance of the lounge, holding a cat toy in his hand pathetically.

Kuro: Seriously? Meeting someone new is seriously okay with you?

Kuro: Where is the real Kenma?

Kenma snorted.

Kenma: Preferably not one on one in case she’s awful and I need an escape.

Some people preferred to make friends on a one on one basis. Kenma liked to have what he referred to as ‘buffer pals’ around in case the small talk got to be too much and he needed to hide in the bathroom or outside for a while. Buffer pals stepped in and entertained the room until he was ready to join back in. Kuroo and Bokuto were great buffers. Akaashi, not as much, because he got gossipy and nosey as soon as he had too much wine.

Hinata would be perfect but he lived so far away.

Kuro: She isn’t awful. She’s…an interesting person. You know I wouldn’t date someone awful.

Kenma felt like he was going to vomit. He put his phone in his pocket – choosing to ignore Kuro for the rest of the night. He wanted to pretend Kuroo didn’t just admit that Kanna is his girlfriend. Dating. They were dating. That made whatever Kenma did with Kuroo cheating, right? He needed to throw up. Or hold his breath until he passed out. Or throw up until he passed out. Anything so long as he could lose consciousness.

The little girl giggling in the corner with her mom pulled him from his thoughts. Kenma chewed the inside of his mouth until it bled. He was at work and needed to act like an adult. He managed to will the tears that threatened to leave his eyes back.

Tora caught his eye while he was cleaning tables. His sideways grin was calming and made Kenma’s heart leap. Tora would be a perfect boyfriend. Except he wasn’t a sly-smirking, nerdy, panther-like man who knows every detail of Kenma’s life and makes his knees shake just by looking at him.

No; that was just a weird game. A pocky game that was taken way too far one night. It needed to end this time. Kenma was sure it needed to end. They weren’t teens staying up all night, sneaking bottom shelf liquor into their rooms and playing co-op games anymore.

Kenma made it through the rest of the night without much fuss. He turned his phone on silent and kept himself busy with customers and the cats until it was time to close. He felt sick the whole shift though, only feeling like he could breathe fully when Tora poked his head in to chat for a bit or make a cat related pun. Tora was really the best distraction.

“Taketora, you need to separate credit cards by type!” Mei scolded and made him redo the entire pile.

Kenma cleared his throat. “I finished up the lounge so I’ll head out first then. Do you need anything?”

“We’re good,” Mei smiled back. “Have a good night, Kenma.”

Kenma gave one last glance at Tora before slipping outside. He walked about five yards before turning on his heel and waiting on the corner instead to wait. He felt antsy and but refused to play on his phone in case Kuroo left a message. Tora and Mei locked up a half hour later. It was the longest half hour of Kenma’s life.

“Ken?” Tora called out, grinning at the hooded figure loitering near the traffic post. “You waited for me?”

“Yeah,” Kenma’s reply was low and hesitant. “I wanted to give you an answer.” His voice sounded weird and his mouth twitched. Tora nodded for him to continue. The smile on his face was wiped off and replaced by worry. “Do you want to go out with me?” The words left Kenma’s mouth before he could stop them. He could feel his face scrunch up but couldn’t stop it from happening.

Tora’s face lit up like a festival. “I’m going to kiss you now so stop looking like you want to puke,” Tora said laughing. He cupped Kenma’s cheek with warm, big hands. Tora’s fingers were calloused but gentle.

Sighing into the touch, Kenma’s eyes fluttered closed. The kiss was sweet and quick but he felt his stomach flip. Pulling back, Kenma punched Tora’s shoulder. “We are outside!” He snapped.

Tora chuckled, nodding. “Yeah, we are. Sorry, Ken.” He grinned into Kenma’s shoulder, hugging him close. “I definitely want to go out with you.”

“I like you, but I’m very embarrassed so let go.”

Tora stepped back, still smiling. “Can I take you on a date sometime then?”

“Yes,” Kenma replied, covering his face. Thank god there weren’t many people around them.

“Ken,” Tora teased. “You like me!”

“Shut up!”

“I’m going to text you later,” Tora practically shouted, engulfing Kenma in a tight hug. His arms folded awkwardly against his chest like he was imprisoned by Tora’s arms. He was released after a quick kiss on his temple.

Kenma was as quiet as possible as he closed the door in the apartment. Somehow, Kuroo’s cat-like ears picked up on the sound. He leaped from the bathroom with a towel around his neck, a toothbrush in his mouth, and Kenma’s hair tie holding up the stubborn hair that usually fell above Kuroo’s eye. “Kenma, you didn’t answer my texts. I was worried.”

Kenma avoided opening his line on the way home, choosing to play mobile games instead. “It was busy at work tonight, sorry.”

Kuroo’s face softened. “I didn’t mean for you to be sorry, I just…wanted you to know that I was worried, I guess?” He fumbled with the words awkwardly before returning to finish getting ready for bed.

Kenma worked his hoodie over his head, the static creating a pastel halo around his head. “You have class tomorrow?” He cringed at his own small talk. This wasn’t like them. Kenma knew Kuroo’s class schedule already.

Kuroo gave him a confused look before nodding. “Is everything okay?” He asked. His sleepy eyes narrowed and Kenma felt his chest tighten with just the look.

He wondered if he had shoulder angels because he felt completely split in what he wanted. One shouted to just blurt it out to Kuroo. The other was going over all the pros to crawling into Kuroo’s bed tonight and cuddling until the anxiety in his stomach dissipated. Kenma gripped his phone tighter in his hands. Tora had already texted him.

“I uh,” Kenma replied, “um…I have a boyfriend.”

Kuroo’s face was hard to read. He stiffened in the doorway to their bedroom and kept nodding his head slightly as if he was processing. Kenma’s eyes dropped to his feet, chewing on his cheek. “Cool,” Kuroo said after what felt like an eternity. He said a simple, “congrats” before turning into the bedroom and flicking off the light and pushing the door almost closed in Kenma’s face.

Kuroo stood in front of his bed, hand covering his eyes. He felt like he might cry but the tears wouldn’t leave his eyes. He realized he was holding his breath and took a small gasp before collapsing face-first on the mattress. He had an exam on interactions between medication types tomorrow morning. He studied for it for weeks on flashcards with Kenma. He couldn’t remember a single thing now.

Kuroo laid awake in bed, curling into a tight ball. He wasn’t going to sleep tonight. A nagging feeling filled his gut but he pushed it down further by wracking his brain for the interaction that occurs when digoxin and macrolides are taken together.

 

_ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll do better next time I swear.   
> Next time: Date!!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some people have sex on first dates and that's totally okay.  
> (explicit warning)

Kenma hasn’t talked to Kuroo in a few days. Well, they talk, but not like before. He tells himself that he’s overreacting about it. Kuroo is just busy with lab papers and exams. Except he can’t help but feeling that he ruined everything. A million thoughts flooded his head every second – about being gay, about Kuroo being distant, about Kanna, about Tora, about Kuroo’s face being unreadable, about the lame congratulations that sounded ingenuine…

Tora threw his arm around Kenma’s shoulders, leaning into his body. The weight felt like an anchor back to the present. In the slight privacy of the back booth in corner diner, Kenma felt comfortable leaning in against Tora’s side. Tora had a strong spice smell to him; he must have used a cologne for their date. It burned Kenma’s nose a little so he focused on breathing through his mouth.

“How’s your apple thing?”

Kenma pinched the dough between his fingers. “It’s good.” It wasn’t that good. Kenma liked the apple pies from the bakery by his apartment better. He wasn’t sure why he was lying about something as simple as a slice of apple pie to Tora. A part of him didn’t want to let Tora down on their first date. He wanted everything to go perfect.

“Do you prefer western style sweet over Japanese ones?”

Kenma shrugged, “I just like apple sweets, I guess.”

“My grandma made a lot of Filipino sweets like biko.”

“What’s biko like?”

“It’s a sticky, sweet rice with coconut milk – it’s really good.” Tora explained, then moving on to talk about his family. Kenma liked how much Tora talked. He could sit back and listen and focus on how Tora’s expressions changed dramatically and quickly. Tora has sisters, one older and one younger, who look like their father unlike Tora who looks closer to his mother. “Nina likes soccer more than volleyball, but she’ll set for me occasionally if I beg. I haven’t gone home in a while to see them though.”

Kenma nodded, “You all sound close.”

“Do you have siblings?”

“No, I’m an only child.” Kenma replied. He didn’t mind being an only child though. His parents traveled a lot when he was little so his grandma would stay with him and he liked having all her attention. Even the times when Kuroo would come over to play, Kenma found himself jealous that his grandma wasn’t fussing over him only. He wondered if that made him selfish.

“That sounds quiet,” Tora laughed loudly. “My house was always loud when I was growing up.”

“Is it quiet now?” Kenma asked, realizing he didn’t know where Tora lived or if he had a roommate or not. “At your…apartment?”

“Yeah, I live in a studio by myself. But Tanaka and Noya live in the same building so I guess I’m not home a lot anyway.”

Kenma thought about telling Tora that he lived with Kuroo, his best friend. The sudden anxiety in his chest hit him like a jolt of lightening. His drink was too sweet and made his tongue feel thick in his mouth. Tora’s arm was too heavy on his shoulders. He smelt too strong.

He couldn’t breathe.

“Um,” Kenma choked out softly, “Bathroom.” Tora let him slide out of the booth. Kenma passed the bathroom though and slipped out the door, taking a gulp of fresh, cold air as soon as the wind hit his face. His heartbeat slowed to a normal pace though he could feel himself still feel agitated for no reason. Kenma forced himself to go back inside so Tora wouldn’t think he was getting ditched on their first date.

Tora was on his phone, whispering – too loud to be consider an actual whisper. “Dude, I’m trying! I think he’s bored? He’s so pretty, I feel myself babbling on about stupid shit like a loser.” Tora paused and Kenma hide himself to the side to eavesdrop. Tora laughed, “Yeah, he braided his hair and it’s out of his eyes and they are so gold, dude, I swear to god I’m going to die looking at them.” Another pause and more too-loud laughter.  “I owe you, man. That’s a great idea! I’ll keep you posted.” Tora hung up and Kenma slipped into the booth on the opposite side this time.

“Sorry,” Kenma murmured, blushing. He pulled his hood over his head, eyes downcast now out of embarrassment.

Tora gave him a crooked grin, cheeks pink. “No problem.” His voice was breathy. “Hey, want to check out an arcade around here? My friend said they have all the Mortal Combats and I think we need a rematch.”

Kenma nodded in agreement, feeling his face screw into an awkward smile. Their first date might not be going 100% perfect, but he was having a good time.

_ _ _

Certain he was coming down with some illness, Kuroo laid his head down on the cool lab counter. His laptop was open in front of him but all he wrote was his dissertation title (understanding the complexity of nanoparticles in nasal mucosa). He suddenly was regretting going into research rather than actual pharmaceuticals. He could be in the pharmacist track instead and actually working to help real patients directly. Instead, he was writing about boogers in hopes that it could someday lead to more research on the topic of boogers and maybe one-day lead to helping people with an actual chronic illness. His life was a fucking joke.

“You okay, sweetie?” Kanna asked, rubbing his back gently. The light touch was too gentle to be comforting and instead was just irritating Kuroo further. He kept his mouth shut though because he just finished apologizing for offending Kanna an hour ago. “You should take a break. You’ve been in here looking at mucus since breakfast.”

“I only have two more hours in the lab today before Fuckwad Lee takes over and gets gross sheep stomach lining all over the good bench.”

Kanna giggled even though Kuroo didn’t feel like he made a joke. “This is the good bench? There are like a thousand more, honey.” Her tone was sweet and usually it would sooth him when he was frustrated but today it sounded like she was being patronizing.

“I know that,” Kuroo snapped. He groaned as soon as the words left his mouth and Kanna’s mouth dropped open in shock. “I’m sorry, I’m just aggravated lately. You’re right.”

Kanna rolled her eyes, “I’m just trying to be nice, Tetsu.”

“I’m sorry.”

“This past week you’ve been a real dick, you know? I don’t deserve this.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Kanna pursed her lips. “It’s fine.” Kuroo knew it wasn’t fine and he was certain this moment would come back up the next time she was angry with him. “You need to relax. We haven’t gone out in ages; let’s go out dancing Saturday.” Kuroo ran his fingers through his hair, or at least tried to. He needed to comb through the knots but he liked when Kenma did it because he was so meticulous and gentle. He missed Kenma. Kanna was still talking about where they could go this weekend and if her friends from the gym would want to come too. He was barely listening. “And you and finally introduce me to your roommate! You said he was fine meeting up but you never made plans so I’m making them now. This is typical of you so I’m not sure why I’m surprised. I have to do everything for us, you know? You’re really lucky I’m such a good girlfriend.”

“Sure, I’ll ask him.”

“Is he single? I think Yukio is looking for a boyfriend! We could set them up and then double date!”

Kuroo’s eye twitched and he rubbed his with the palm of his hand. “Kenma is gay, so I don’t think Yukio is his type. You know…lacking a penis and everything,” He said bitterly.

Kanna’s eyes sparkled, “oh my god, I’ve always wanted to have a gay friend! Let’s go to a gay bar! We should totally go to a gay dance club!”

Kuroo closed his eyes to avoid them rolling back inside his head and being lost forever. “Yeah, I’ll ask.” He didn’t want to ask. When he opened his eyes Kanna was staring at him expectedly, so he pulled out his phone, sighing, and made a point to show her that he texted Kenma.

Kenma didn’t text back immediately and Kuroo tried not to outwardly panic.

He tried not to think about Kenma meandering around the apartment with focused eyes before he left for school. Kenma braided his hair neatly, unlike the sloppy hairstyles when he was going to work. He wore his tight blue jeans that were slightly too long and clung to his ankles and definitely clung around his ass. The biggest giveaway to Kuroo that Kenma was exited for something was his shirt. Kenma hated well fitted button up shirts. Yet, under the hoodie that he threw on to hide his outfit, Kuroo saw the gray button up usually lived in the back of Kenma’s closet – only to be worn when parents were visiting.

The only explanation was Kenma was going on a date with his boyfriend.

Kuroo quickly texted the only person he knew would have all the answers – Akaashi Keji.

Kuroo: Aka-chan! Hey it’s been a while – we should play a game together soon.

Aka-Chan: what do you want? If you really wanted to set up a practice game you’d have texted Koutaro.

Kuroo: Ouch. I’ve been nothing but forthcoming with you. That’s a rude insinuation.

Aka-Chan: Fine. Kou and I are going to the gym Friday night, does that work for you?

Kuroo: No not at all. Because you both are going to a gay bar with me and Kanna that night.  
Kuroo: Hey speaking of going to a gay bar this weekend, what do you know about Kenma’s boyfriend?

Aka-Chan: You’re such a pain in the ass, Kuroo.

Kuroo: Again, rude, Aka-chan. I’m just worried, you know? I haven’t even met the guy and Kenma doesn’t have a great track record with dating  
Kuroo: it’s normal to be worried for your friend.

Akaashi didn’t respond but Kuroo was expecting that.

Kuroo: Bro!!!  
Kuroo: 1. Friday night gay bar – don’t ask.  
Kuroo: 2. Do you know who Kenma is dating? – don’t ask.

Brokuto: I can’t ask?  
Brokuto: Akaashi said it was some dude he works with  
Brokuto: Wait, I seriously can’t ask about the gay bar? Because I at least need to know when and where, bro.

_ _ _

Kenma had a lot of fun goofing around with Tora at the arcade. He kicked Tora’s ass at Mortal Combat five times before they air-hockey and he lost horribly. Still, Tora’s winner dance was cute and he found himself not caring that people were staring. So, it was a no brainer when Tora suggested they head back to one of his apartment to watch a movie and keep the date going.

Tora’s studio was filled with posters. Sports, animes, superheros and comics lined all available wall space. His bed was pushed against one corner and the TV set opposite wall for best viewing. It reminded Kenma of a dorm room. It also smelt like a guy’s dorm. Tora grinned sheepishly, bending down to toss dirty clothes into the hamper. “I…uhh…wasn’t planning on having anyone over…obviously,” He explained. He cleared his throat, “What movie do you want to watch?”

Kenma shrugged, “Anything is fine.”

“Have you seen Sinister yet?”

Kenma chewed on his bottom lip, dropping down to sit on Tora’s bed as he awkwardly fiddled with Netflix. “Isn’t it the point to watch something we’ve both already seen?” He mumbled.

Tora almost dropped the remote out of surprise. “Ken! I swear that’s not why I asked you to –“

“It’s okay,” Kenma chuckled, lowly. “I know you weren’t expecting anything. It’s pretty clear from the number of dirty socks that are piling up under your bed.”

Tora groaned dramatically, “I just haven’t done this before, so I’m a little lost.” He immediately turned red with embarrassment at his own confession. “Shit, I mean, I’ve done that before. I mean, not like a lot, I’m not diseased so you don’t have to worry. I just have only done stuff with girls. Well not girls, like women. Fuck, not like-women, but women. Fuck, I’m fucking this up.” Tora was pacing and waving his arms around as be rambled.

Kenma’s mouth twitched before laughing loudly. “Relax? We can put on a movie and… I don’t know…cuddle or something lame. If it goes anywhere, that’s fine. If it doesn’t, that’s fine too.”

“Ken, you are so fucking hot and beautiful and everything you say is just,” Tora said before shouting excitedly. Kenma chuckled again, pulling his hoodie over his head carefully. “Damnit. I’m going to put on a shitty scary movie and make out with you, okay?”

“That’s why I took my hoodie off,” Kenma agreed.

Tora flopped down on the bed just as the opening credits started. Kenma hadn’t seen the movie yet, but he figured he could watch it on his usual movie night with Kuroo later. Tora hovered over him, his eyes narrowed as his gaze roamed over Kenma’s body. Kenma felt his stomach twist and he tried to push Kuroo out of his thoughts and focus on the strong arms framing his shoulders.

His hands smoothed up Tora’s (dorky) polo and gripped the collar, pulling him down to meet Kenma’s mouth. Tora was a heavy and wet kisser, putting weight behind his lips. Kenma’s fingers dug into the curls of Tora’s mohawk, scratching his scalp lightly and earning a low moan in return. He slanted their mouths to pull Tora’s bottom lip between his teeth and nibble softly.

Kenma moaned as one large hand wiggled around his back and another, his ass. Tora rolled their bodies so he was flat and Kenma was forced on top. “Oh,” Kenma moaned, shifting so he could straddle Tora’s hips and grind down easier. Tora’s hands gripped his waist and readjusted their hips and thrust upwards, hitting the spot between Kenma’s groin and thigh. “Um,” Kenma hesitantly whispered.

Tora’s eyes were shut in bliss as he continued to thrust up and down against Kenma’s leg. He wanted to interrupt to find a better position they could both enjoy, but Tora was grunting loudly in his hair and his grip on Kenma’s hips were tight like he was close. Kenma felt his own erection wavering as it felt like Tora was using his body to hump to completion.

He hated himself for it, but he couldn’t help but think of Kuroo and how easy everything was with him. There was no awkwardness to what they did. Kuroo would ask if he wanted to try something and they’d try it. If Kenma thought he wouldn’t also get off from it, he knew he would just have to say something and Kuroo would make it right. Kuroo’s kisses were passionate and intense but not hard and full of saliva. Kuroo knew he liked his cheeks pulled and slapped when humping each other.

Kenma especially hated himself for thinking of Kuroo while with Tora and getting hard from it.

“Kenma, fuck you are so hot,” Tora grunted, hips moving wildly. “I’m going to cum already. You’re so fucking amazing.” He panted loudly against Kenma’s ear as he came in his jeans. Tora sighed, grip loosening on Kenma’s body. “Wow,” he laughed, “I came so much just from that.”

Kenma pulled back and stared at the wet spot in Tora’s jeans. He did cum a lot and from the outline, it looked like he was huge. “Can I?” Kenma checked for a nod before undoing Tora’s jeans and pulling them down his legs, along with his boxers. A massive cock sprung free, still hard and oozing at the tip. Kenma rubbed his thighs together, wishing they didn’t stop before he could get started.

“If you look at it like that, I’m going to get hard again,” Tora said, grinning.

Kenma looked up, shyly, before moving down on the bed so he could take Tora’s spent cock in his mouth. Tora groaned at the over stimulation but didn’t make a move like he wanted Kenma to stop. Kenma moaned, trying to relax his throat and take Tora in further. He wanted Tora to get hard again. He wanted to do something more that would ease the hard need between his own legs.

“Ken,” Tora moaned, his head thrown back on the pillow. “This feels fucking amazing, holy shit.”

Kenma pulled back, getting off the bed to struggle out of his tight jeans and toss the stupid button up shirt he decided to wear on the unvacuumed floor. “Do you want to stop? Or slow down?” He asked, murmuring.

“We can do whatever you want.” Tora’s reply was breathy and excited.

Kenma paused before asking, “Do you have lube and condoms?”

“Shit, yeah, bathroom drawer!” Tora’s eyes light up like it was his birthday.

Kenma bit his nails as he closed the bathroom door. It was also a dirty mess, but at least he found the lube. He prepared himself as quickly as possible, trying not to think of a certain someone else’s tongue and fingers as he did. When he got out of the bathroom, Tora was lighting a candle on the small table between his bed and tv.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” Kenma nodded. Tora grinned, laying back down on the bed. It threw Kenma off and he wasn’t sure he was reading the situation right anymore. “Um…just so it’s clear…I’m bottoming, right?” He could feel his whole body go pink.

“Yeah,” Tora’s reply was smooth. He was grinning too wide, one hand holding his erection up. “I want you to ride me.”

They awkwardly put a condom on Tora and Kenma lined up before pushing down slowly. He closed his eyes and tried to relax as he sunk down over Tora. “I knew you’d look amazing during cowboy,” Tora moaned, thrusting up. Kenma panted; he never felt this stretched before. He felt dirty and sexy at the same time.

He moved up and down slowly, focusing on rocking his hips. Tora’s upwards thrusting was out of rhythm though and Kenma felt unable to fully enjoy himself. It was like every thrust he made down was met with Tora’s hip moving away. They were out of sync and Kenma could feel himself get frustrated.

Tora was grunting, seemingly unaware of their current incompatibility.

Kenma steadied himself with his hands on Tora’s chest, feeling the muscles ripple under his fingers and trying to focus on the sensation. His mind kept wandering in an attempt to get himself close to climax and he was getting tired of fighting it. Kenma pinched his eyes shut in defeat and thought about Kuroo. The way Kuroo smiles at him when he’s riding him like this. The sly quirk of his thin lips when he gripped Kenma’s hips tight and abused his prostate until he was incoherent. The feeling of fullness he got in his chest after Kuroo spilt inside him with gasping breaths and red cheeks.

Kenma moaned, grinding his hips down and leaning back to find a better angle. “Baby, you’re so fucking hot,” Tora gasped. “Are you close? Cum for me, Ken.” Kenma cried out, finally opening his eyes to stare into Tora’s brown warm ones. His body shook as he climaxed, clenching down on Tora until he came as well. Catching his breath, Kenma’s chest heaved. He could hear screams from the movie and he decided he did want to watch it sometime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late in the day! I hope you are enjoying your sundays though.  
> Thank you for all the comments and subscription things and kudos and hits. It really makes my day and I appreciate you taking the time reading this :D  
> Next time: meeting Kanna and Akaashi is a delight.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A disappointing club chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not super pleased with how this turned out. I kept thinking it would go differently, but any time I sat down to write, it went a different direction. I can't erase it and start over anymore times, so this is what I got!

Kenma: I’m a terrible person.

Akaashi: You aren’t. What happened?

Kenma: I just had the most mediocre sex with my boyfriend and had to think of Kuro to get off.

Kenma sighed, curling on his side in his bed. He just got back from Tora’s and couldn’t shake a terrible feeling from his gut. Kuroo didn’t say anything when he came in; he sat spread out on the couch watching a documentary on beer in America. Kenma has slipped into the shower to wash off the stench of sex and sweat before crawling into bed.

Akaashi: So that’s not great. But it doesn’t make you a terrible person.  
Akaashi: I demand details. Now.

Kenma checked their bedroom door for Kuroo before spilling the entire evening to Akaashi. He left out the little details, like that Tora smelt like a spice cabinet the entire day or that his breath on Kenma’s ears felt a little gross and wet. He didn’t regret it, but he had hoped it was…better. Maybe it was disappointing because they had such a good time flirting on their date.

Akaashi: So he’s a pillow queen? That’s disappointing.  
Akaashi: I would do the same if I was in your shoes, so cut yourself some slack.   
Akaashi: 10 years of unrequited love doesn’t just disappear overnight with a new boyfriend. Give yourself time.

Kenma: Thanks

Akaashi: Speaking of that pain in the ass, apparently we’re going to Dragon Men in Shinjuku Friday night.

Kenma: I really don’t want to meet Kuroo’s girlfriend.

Akaashi: It’ll be fine. Bring Tora and distract yourself with awful sex and alcohol.  
Akaashi: Speaking of the pain in the ass, Kuroo texted me and Kou wanting to know about your boyfriend.

Kenma’s heart thumped in his chest. He dropped his phone on the bed and grabbed his DS. Kuroo lifted his long legs up to let Kenma curl into his corner of the couch. Kenma chewed his cheek, thinking. Kuroo was overly stiff next to him and he seemed to be trying to use his peripherals to look at Kenma. He wasn’t being as sneaky as he thought he was.

“Kuro,” Kenma spoke. Kuroo did a quick double take before meeting his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Kuroo sighed, pausing the film. “You don’t have any reason to be sorry,” He said, rubbing his eyes under his reading glasses.

“You’re mad at me.”

“I’m just…” Kuroo trailed off. He wasn’t sure how or why he felt so crummy. He struggled to find the right words. “I’m just sad you didn’t feel like you could tell me about your boyfriend. I thought we told each other everything.”

Kenma got to a save point in his game and turned it off. It was so much easier to start conversations when he could focus on something else first. It was probably a form of running away or hiding, but it was the only way he could start heavy conversations sometimes. “There are some things that I don’t think you’d understand,” He said. There was no way he could talk about wanting Kuroo as more than friends who played around to Kuroo, he added in his head. “You know…gay…stuff.” Kenma added, aloud. Kuroo looked mildly offended; his face doing that thing where his lip curled a little.

“You can talk to me about gay stuff.”

“I can’t.”

“Can.”

“Can’t.”

“Can.”

“Can’t.”

“Well,” Kuroo sighed, sinking lower in the couch cushions. “Then at least tell me when someone is in your life that you like.”

Kenma nodded, opening his DS again and starting the next level. “You too.” He replied.

“Hmm?”

“You too. When you like someone, you should tell me.” Kenma explained. His fingers tapped at the buttons as his character ran through the forest, collecting coins. He felt himself relax as he confessed, “I was a little mad you started dating someone and you never told me. It felt like you were hiding a part of your life from me.”

Kuroo nodded, getting up from the couch to grab two beers from the kitchen. He hit play so the documentary filled the room with pleasant noise. He opened both beers and set one near Kenma. The narrator’s voice filled the room with pleasant facts about yeast. “Me too, Kitten. It felt like I didn’t know a whole part of your life. I guess I got lonely thinking there’s a side of you that I don’t get to see.” Kuroo said after a while.

Kenma swallowed hard, fingers paused over the buttons. “You’ve seen all my sides.” He replied, blushing.

Kuroo chuckled, smirking as if he was proud of himself. He grabbed the throw blanket and tossed it over his legs, stretching them out to rest on Kenma’s lap. It felt good to get back into normalcy with Kuroo. As if no matter what changes happened, they could always exist on the couch like this and just be.

“Your feet stink,” Kenma noted, nose scrunching up in disgust.

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

“Want to order takeout and watch a movie?” Kuroo interrupted their usual banter. Kenma’s stomach growled in response.

_ _ _

Kuroo felt like it didn’t count as stalking if it was your best friend and you were with your other best friend. Honestly, it was just a regular bro-date with Bokuto and they just so happened to go to Kenma’s work for after lunch coffees. Except he was sitting in the corner of the café and had a baseball hat on to try and look inconspicuous.

Bokuto returned to the table with their coffees. Mei, Kenma’s supervisor, waved at Kuroo from behind the counter. He pressed his finger to his lips, hoping she knew the universal sign for ‘shut up and don’t say anything.’ Mei looked taken back but gave him thumbs up.

“Bro, why are we hiding from Kenma? Are you mad at each other?”

Kuroo stared back with his lip curling up and head tilted. He snapped, “I’m not hiding and we aren’t mad at each other.” He shifted in his chair before picking up his mug. The hazelnut roast here was amazing. He loved when Kenma came home smelling like fresh ground coffee. He liked breathing in the warm scent that clung to Kenma’s hoodie. “We’re just…retconning.” He explained.

“Because you are jealous of his boyfriend and want to see if you can take him in a fight?” Bokuto filled in, nodding knowledgably.

Kuroo choked on his drink, nearly spitting across the table. “Ak! No! Dude, what the fuck?” He whispered. He wiped his mouth before continuing to scold Bokuto. “I’m not jealous. I’m just concerned for Kenma’s safety. We don’t know this guy, he could be a murderer for all I know!”

“You don’t stalk me and my girlfriends out of concern for my safety.”

“Okay,” Kuroo sighed, “One, you could probably punch someone into a coma without trying, and two, you haven’t dated anyone in…forever.”

“I’ve dated!” Bokuto protested.

“Who the hell have you dated?”

Bokuto scrunched up his face as he tried to think back. When he obviously was struggling to think of anything, Kuroo patted his arm sympathetically. For the longest time, he wondered if Bokuto even thought about anyone sexually or romantically. The bubbly, outgoing man seemed to just have eyes for sports. And eating. By the time they started college, Kuroo decided to never bring it up and figured Bokuto would come to him if he ever needed to talk.

Kenma caught his eye as he was leaving the cat lounge, careful to close the door and prevent kitten escapees. A broad-shouldered man with a blond mohawk walked out of the back room and threw his arm around Kenma’s shoulders, pulling him in close. Kuroo watched with horror as Kenma was mauled with public displays of affection by a humanoid bear before punching said bear in the stomach. Kenma turned a bright red and shrugged the other man off as quickly as possible. The ruffian followed Kenma into the back room.

“You okay, Bro?” Bokuto asked, pulling Kuroo from the murderous thoughts in his head. “Why are you standing?”

Kuroo blinked, looking around to realize he stood up without thinking. “Bo, Kenma is being held hostage by yakuza.”

“Dude, I think that’s his boyfriend. They kissed so I’m pretty sure that’s got to be him.” Bokuto said slowly, as if Kuroo wasn’t capable of understanding.

Kuroo slumped back onto his chair. “Him? He looks like a thug. He probably blackmailed Kenma into dating!” He chugged some of his scalding coffee in his mug, grimacing. Kenma looked embarrassed and put out. He also looked incredibly happy. It made him feel sick if he was honest with himself.

Bokuto laughed, shoving a pastry down his throat. He replied, “Maybe Kenma has a type? Bad boy or whatever?” He laughed harder at his joke but Kuroo just rolled his eyes.

“Kenma is sweet and kind and quiet,” Kuroo rattled off, “His type would never be…that.”

“You sound jealous, Bro.” Bokuto noted, polishing off the pastry. “You know,” he added, taking note of Kuroo’s annoyed expression, “It’s okay if you are. It’s okay to like Kenma.”

“Let’s stop talking about Kenma,” Kuroo sighed. He glanced down at the missed text messages from Kanna. They had a fight earlier about properly balancing for titrations. She was incredibly brilliant when it came to book smarts, but he swore she was an idiot when it came to lab safety. Still, he owed her an apology for scolding her like he did. “How are you and Akaashi?”

Bokuto’s smiling face fell into a depressed frown. “Keji is doing great, yeah, Bro.” He wiggled in his chair. “Actually, I’m a mess, Kubro. Akaashi has been ditching our laundry nights. He says he’s not mad at me, but why else would he ditch, right?”

“Maybe he’s dating someone?”

“On our laundry night?” Bokuto looked confused, and somewhat offended.

“You do know that eventually Akaashi is going to have laundry nights and grocery days with someone else, right? He’s not going to be single forever. Eventually he’s going to get serious in a relationship.”

“Oh, kind of like Kenma is doing, yeah?”

Kuroo clutched his chest, feigning shock. “Kind of a low blow, bro.” He said as Bokuto chuckled to himself. He wasn’t wrong though, and Kuroo could feel it down to his bones. Kenma walked out of the back room looked flustered. He smoothed down his hair before disappearing into the cat lounge. Thug Bear had a stupid grin on his face when he joined Mei at the front counter. Kuroo wanted to punch his smile off his face.

“I just want Keiji to be happy,” Bokuto said softly. He looked melancholy. “It just sucks that things have to change between us for that to happen.”

“And you seriously never thought of Akaashi…like that?” Kuroo asked. “Or are you strictly volleyball-sexual?”

Bokuto leaned forward so Kuroo leaned towards him too. His face was red as he whispered, “Bro, you need to keep this a secret. You can do that right? Like…no judgement, no teasing, right?” Kuroo nodded in agreement to Bokuto’s terms. “Okay, so sometimes I have this dream where Keji crushes my balls with a volleyball and he’s…he’s wearing like this leather suit, okay?”

Kuroo immediately broke his promise and laughed harder than he ever had in his life. There was no way he would ever let Bokuto live this down.

In the cat lounge, Kenma’s ears burned – hearing the distinct boisterous laugh of his best friend in the distance. He shook his head. Kuroo was supposed to be practicing blocking with Bokuto tonight at the community center. He must be hallucinating from intense guilt after making out with Tora in the supply closet in the backroom.

_ _ _

Kenma pulled his hood over his head tighter as Akaashi led him through too many sweaty bodies in Dragon Men. The club was crowded tonight, but Kenma guessed this was typical for a weekend night. Akaashi weaved through hot men liked he was liquid. Kenma felt underdressed in comparison; he stuck to his comfortable, too large t-shirts, skinny jeans, and a hoodie. Akaashi, as he told Kenma, went full gay tonight. Tight pleather pants and a metallic tank top, Akaashi flirted around the club like he belonged and owned it. What intrigued Kenma the most was Akaashi’s eyeliner and mascara that amplified his already beautiful eyes.

Bokuto, Kuroo, and a beautiful blonde woman were waiting at a booth near the back. Kenma wondered if Kuroo picked the spot, knowing how he likes to be tucked away to people watch and not get over crowded by others. Bokuto waved, shouting Akaashi’s name as they got to the table. Akaashi pushed in to sit next to Kanna, letting Kenma take the open spot next to Bokuto. He gave him a silent thank you from across the round table.

“It’s so nice to meet you finally!” Kanna shouted at him, trying to be heard over the DJ playing on the dance floor 5 meters from their spot. Kenma hated the gross feeling in his gut as he studied her doll-like face. Kanna was beautiful; all curves in the right places but slim and dainty. He wrapped his arms around his body, suddenly ashamed of every time he skipped the gym or had an extra piece of pie. Kuroo was staring at him, looking half-drunk already.

He pulled the hood over his head, wishing to disappear inside it forever. He felt ugly sitting at the table with so many beautiful people. “Yeah, nice to meet you,” He replied. It was lie, it didn’t feel nice. It was awful. He wanted to leave.

“We need drinks,” Akaashi said, standing up. “Kenma and I will be right back.” He grabbed Kenma’s arm and pulled him away, towards a crowded bar. Once far enough away, Akaashi pulled on his hand. “You looked like you were about to cry, was I right to pull you away?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“We really do need drinks though.”

“I’ll buy you a drink,” A gruff voice from behind them said, making Kenma nearly jump out of his skin. The voice belonged to the ex-ace from Aobajōsai, Iwaizumi Hajime. Kenma didn’t pay much attention to Seijoh in high school, but he remembered the intensity that were Iwaizumi’s spikes. Iwaizumi seemed to have gotten more muscular and handsome since high school.

“You found me,” Akaashi purred back, smirking.

“It wasn’t hard, I just needed to find the most beautiful ass in here.”

Kenma’s mind whirled and it was like gears clicked into place. “You’re tree trunk arms?” He gasped.

“Tree trunk arms?” Iwaizumi asked, looking at Kenma now. He glanced at his right arm, flexing it through a tight v-neck. Akaashi wasn’t exaggerating, his arms were like thick trunks that would put Bokuto’s to shame. “Usually it’s gorilla arms,” He muttered to himself.

“Iwaizumi, you remember Kenma?” Akaashi gave a half-hearted introduction.

“Yeah, I remember your eyes the most actually,” Iwaizumi said. “They are still so golden.” Kenma felt himself blush and he looked at his feet. “Oh, looks like we are next to order. These really are on me, so whatever you want.” Iwaizumi told them. 

Kenma let Akaashi order for him and immediately regretted it once he tasted how much alcohol was in his drink. He made a face to express his disgust. At least the drink itself was a beautiful swirling purple.

“You’re going to need a few of these if you’re going to make it through the night,” Akaashi warned him. They made their way back to the booth and Kenma knew Akaashi was right. Kanna was leaning into Kuroo’s side naturally and laughing at something Bokuto said. They looked good together. It was making Kenma sick.

He slid back into his spot next to Bokuto, who was having an inner melt down as Akaashi crawled onto Iwaizumi’s lap. “Oh ho ho,” Kuroo slurred, smirking. “Iwaizumi, eh? I haven’t seen you in years! What are you doing here?”

“Buying Akaashi a drink,” was the smooth reply. Kenma almost swooned at the deep tones that vibrated out of Iwaizumi’s chest. No wonder Akaashi was sprawled out on him like a spider monkey. The bass must feel amazing up close.

“Iwaizumi is my…partner,” Akaashi said, after hesitating with his words. Iwaizumi grinned at the new terminology applied to their relationship.

“Are you setting for him?” Bokuto squawked out. Kenma ducked to avoid a flailing arm.

“Is that a sex thing or are we actually talking about volleyball?” Iwaizumi whispered to Akaashi.

“Sometimes, I don’t even know,” Akaashi whispered back.

Kanna seemed to be engrossed in the drama that was unfolding between Bokuto and Iwaizumi. Kenma tuned out as soon as the conversation turned into volleyball sexual innuendos. Bokuto was rolling up his shirt sleeves and Kenma wanted nothing to do with the literal arm muscle measuring contest happening.

“I have a drunk question I’ve always wanted to ask a gay man,” Kanna blurted out. Akaashi raised a perfect eyebrow at Kenma; unspoken acknowledgement that she was drunk and probably going to be offensive.

“No stupid questions,” Iwaizumi assured her. Kenma didn’t agree, but he wasn’t planning on voicing that anyway.

“What’s the best and worst part about gay sex?” She was blushing as she asked. Kuroo snorted into his beer, getting foam all over his face and hair.

“Best part – the sex.” Akaashi replied smoothly. “Worst part – preparing for sex.”

“What do you mean? Like lube?”

“Lube is a gay man’s best friend,” Iwaizumi explained.

“But making sure you are clean up there is the most unsexy thing ever,” Akaashi continued. “You can go for it without proper prep, but that can be a gamble.”

“Why are we talking about this?” Bokuto groaned. “How did this conversation happen?!”

“Who was the first person you had sex with?”

Kenma cursed mentally as the questions kept coming. He wanted to kick Akaashi for answering.

“High school,” Akaashi said as if he was reminiscing fondly, “A cute 3rd year when I was a 1st year. It was terrible and I cried when he didn’t call me afterwards.”

“Who the fuck?” Bokuto snapped, “I’ll punch him!”

Akaashi ignored him to focus his sharp eyes on Kenma. “Kenma, who was yours anyway?” Kenma cursed Akaashi’s nosey, gossipy nature when he got drunk.

“Some jerk, also in high school.”

“Kenma, just tell me who it was and I swear I’ll kick his ass. I don’t care it’s been like 10 years. I’ll totally punch his face in,” Bokuto promised, voice loud and drunk.

“It doesn’t matter,” Kenma snapped, feeling closed in. “It’s over anyway – it was just a stupid game.” He avoided Kuroo’s gaze but could feel those heavy-lidded eyes on him. He felt a shiver up his spine. He wanted to cry and run home.

He took another gulp of his drink and let his nerves dissipate. He already knew he was going to be drunk by the time he finished his first drink. Whatever Akaashi ordered him, it was strong and delicious. Kenma had a few more sips and played with his phone, avoiding the concerned looks Kuroo was giving him.

Kenma: How is work tonight?

Tora: It’s boring without you here.

Kenma: Fukunaga isn’t as fun to make out with behind the coffee filters?

Tora: LOL he’s a dead fish  
Tora: I miss you  
Tora: I wish I was out with you tonight.

Kenma chewed his cheek when he couldn’t think of a reply. It felt like a lie to say he missed Tora or that he wished he was here. It was already too loud and Tora only made things louder. It would have been nice to have someone to have with him though. Akaashi clearly had Iwaizumi and Kuroo had Kanna. Bokuto had…well, Kenma just assumed Bokuto’s plans for the evening included being weirdly jealous of Iwaizumi, drinking too much, and dancing wildly on the dance floor until he passed out and Kenma had to drag him home while the happy couples left to have sex. He changed his mind. He wished Tora was here because then he could be a happy couple leaving to go have sex instead of making sure Bokuto didn’t throw up on himself.

“Do you want to dance, Kozume?” Kanna shouted at him. “Or another drink?” Her voice was angelic. Kenma really wanted to hate it. To hate her. Instead he just felt guilt creep into his chest the more she attempted to hold eye contact. He looked down. “I want to get to know you.” She added, hopeful.

Kenma felt Kuroo’s eyes boring into his head. He was suffocating a little. “Another drink,” He replied, picking up his glass and downing the rest quickly.

“Great!” Kanna squealed. “I’ll go with you! I have so much to ask you!” She practically jumped over Kuroo and Bokuto to get out of the booth, kicking Kuroo in the stomach a little on her exit. “Tetsu, I’m putting them on your tab so don’t be cheap tonight!”

Kenma fiddled with his phone as they waited in line for the bar. Standing, he realized Kanna was about his height and her blonde hair was eerily similar to how his was in high school. He wondered if Kuroo had a type and he was close enough to fit it all these years. Kanna was talking about how much she liked his pastel hair, he didn’t correct her by saying it was an accident on his part, and how she didn’t have the courage to do anything crazier with her hair besides bleaching it blonde.

“Kuroo talks about you a lot,” She said. “Like shows you two are watching and places you go to eat…”

Kenma’s heart was racing and a panicked thought raced around his head that Kanna separated him from the others to say she knows about their game. He glanced around him for something to defend himself with.

“You two are so close, I was hoping to get your advice?”

Kenma released a quiet breath of relief. “Advice?” He asked. There was still people in front of them in line, but at least it was moving quickly. He needed another drink before he was seriously going to give dating advice to Kuroo’s girlfriend.

“Like…Tetsu gets angry sometimes? Or…distant. I feel like we’re fighting more and more about stupid stuff,” She gushed then turned red. “Oh my, I’m so sorry, it sounds like I’m bad mouthing your friend. I didn’t mean for it to be like that!”

Kenma checked his phone. His vision was a little fuzzy and he regretted slamming his drink. Tora sent him a picture holding Boss. They were cute. Tora was cute. Dorky, and a little too bro sometimes, but Kenma liked him. He sent a quick message back telling him that and slipped his phone back in his pocket.

“Kuro mostly keeps his problems to himself,” He finally replied. They finally reached the bar and Kenma couldn’t have been more relieved. He asked the bartender to make him whatever had the most alcohol but was still sweet. Kanna held up two fingers, asking for the same.

They settled into uncomfortable silence; though the DJ was blasting pop dance music so loud Kenma felt it was a good excuse to not be talk-shouting at each other anyway. His phone vibrated in his pocket.

Kuro: I’m sorry

Kenma: for what?

Kuro: For making you go to a gay club and for Kanna

The bartender handed them their drinks and Kanna told him to put it on Kuroo Tetsurou’s tab. Kenma stared at the message before guzzling down half of his drink. It burned but the sugary syrup was pleasant. He had so much he wanted to say to Kuroo. There was so much he didn’t have the courage to say.

“That’s a cool shirt by the way,” Kanna complimented him. Her cheeks were flushed from drinking. Kenma looked down at the oversized t-shirt he was wearing – the hoodie abandoned at the table once it got to be too warm. It was some punk rock band from America. Kuroo got into American music for a year in undergrad and bought a ton of shirts and music online. Eventually, Kenma obtained the shirts once they remained abandoned in the back of Kuroo’s closet.  

“Thanks,” He said.

“Do you not like me?”

He choked, finally meeting her eyes willingly. He didn’t know how to respond. Truthfully, Kanna wasn’t awful. She was high energy and definitely seemed too nosey. She came off as eager to be friends. Still, he didn’t like her. She was Kuroo’s girlfriend. She was everything Kenma wasn’t and everything Kuroo clearly wanted. He didn’t hate Kanna. He didn’t like Kanna. He was jealous. The thought hit him like a train and Kenma wanted to puke.

He sucked in a shaky breath before replying, “I don’t dislike you.”

“Isn’t that a double negative?”

Kenma struggled and pushed through the crowd to get back to the table faster. Bokuto was slumped over the table, pouting while Kuroo patted his back sympathetically. Akaashi and Iwaizumi were not there. Kenma gave Kuroo a questioning look.

“They went to go dance.” Kuroo explained.

Bokuto groaned, pouring himself another beer from the pitcher on the table. “Keiji is too good for that guy.” Kuroo nodded along, patting Bokuto. Kanna scooted in close, cooing. “I mean, have you ever really looked at Keiji? He’s beautiful and his sets are perfect.” Bokuto tipped his head back and downed his glass at once. Kenma would have been impressed if he wasn’t so grossed out at the tears and snot running down Bokuto’s face. “I want him to step on my balls until I blow. I want him to set a volleyball on my face wearing those pants. I wish he would-“

“Okay, maybe stop there, Bro,” Kuroo advised.

“Aw, he likes him! That is so cute!” Kanna squealed, clapping her hands together. “Childhood friends turned lovers is my favorite storyline!”

“Storyline?” Kuroo’s voice was gruff and low. Kenma loved the way he sounded after a few beers. Like a panther’s growl. He rubbed his eyes wearily. Kenma was drunk.

“Yaoi storylines,” Kanna explained. “They’re my favorite!”

“What the fuck?”

Kenma looked at the swirling purple liquid in his glass, pensive. Kanna being a yaoi fangirl suddenly made sense. She had way too much enthusiasm for a gay club and gay relationships compared to any other girl. He swallowed the rest of the drink and grabbed his hoodie.

“Where are you going?” Kuroo snapped.

“I need air.” Kenma could hear Kuroo and Kanna bicker as he weaved through bodies to get away.

. . .

Kenma was wasted. He giggled to himself as he stumbled down the sidewalk. His phone kept ringing but his eyes wouldn’t focus properly on the caller ID. He slid the green bar to accept anyway.

“Moshi?” His voice slurred as he spoke.

“Kenma!” Kuroo’s voice was loud and angry on the other end. “Where the fuck are you?”

Kenma looked around, squinting. “Uh…”

Kuroo sighed and Kenma could almost hear him grip his phone tighter. “Tell me what street you are on and the stores you are by.” Kenma walked until he was at a small park and told Kuroo. The park was fairly empty. The only people around where other drunks like himself and middle-aged men waiting around hoping for a little action. Kenma giggled to himself again. The situation was similar to when he would wander off when they were little and Kuroo would always come find him. The biggest difference this time was Kenma was inebriated.

Kenma smiled, closing his eyes. He missed Kuroo. He missed the old Kuroo who only wanted to spend time with Kenma and play volleyball. That Kuroo was so adorable and sweet.

“Kenma!”

Kenma opened his eyes and watched Kuroo jog towards him, panting. “Kuro.” He breathed.

“Damn, Kitten,” Kuroo chuckled, still trying to catch his breath. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” His arms wrapped around Kenma’s shoulders and pulled him in close.

Kenma clung to Kuroo’s jacket, his body moving on its own. “Kuro,” He chanted, “Kuro. Kuro.”

“Where did you go? What were you doing? I went outside to find you and you were gone. Akaashi left with that spikey haired guy and I had to wrestle Bokuto into a cab by myself.”

Kenma couldn’t remember what he did after he left the club. He remembered walking to another bar and having a few more drinks. After that, he was pretty sure he was just walking around. “I miss you.” He replied.

Kuroo pulled back, cradling Kenma’s face in his hands. He turned Kenma’s cheeks from side to side, as if checking for damage. “I’m here, Kitten,” Kuroo said.

“Where’s your girlfriend?”

Kuroo’s eyes darkened as he replied, “She’s not my girlfriend.”

Kenma felt tears well up in his eyes and he choke out a sob. “Kuro…she was nice.”

“Yes, yes.”

“She just wanted you to love her,” Kenma continued crying. His shoulders shook with each sob. He didn’t know why he was crying for Kanna. He didn’t care for her. He was jealous of her. She had everything he wanted. “She wanted you to care about her. You used her and you tossed her away when she wasn’t fun anymore.”

“Kenma, I didn’t do that…”

“You did! You played with her and then got rid of her when she cared about you!”

Kuroo snapped, “She was annoying!”

“Everyone is annoying!” Kenma argued, struggling free from Kuroo’s arms. “Bokuto is annoying! He’s loud and only talks about volleyball. Keiji loves drama. Hinata talks over people and is late to everything. You snore when you drink and don’t talk to me about what you’re thinking. My boyfriend is so sweet but he dresses like a bro and is terrible at sex. I hide behind games and my phone and struggle talking to people.” Kenma ranted until he was out of breath. “You just have to learn to love people’s annoying sides too.”

Kuroo sat back on his heels and rubbed his face with his hands. “Your boyfriend is bad at sex?”

Kenma snorted, his nose scrunching up. “That’s all you got from that?”

Kuroo chuckled into his palm. The way he looked up at Kenma made his body feel like jelly. He wanted to melt into Kuroo’s arms. “I heard you, Kitten. I’m sorry you feel like I’ve been holding out on you.” Kuroo apologized even though Kenma was sure he already forgiven him long before.

“Kuro…”

“I’m just going through something right now and I’m not ready to talk about it,” Kuroo groaned.

“I feel like we need to talk about what happened.”

“Kenma,” Kuroo said, standing up. He held out his hands to help Kenma up too. “Let’s just go home.” Kenma nodded, knowing Kuroo really meant that it was water under the bridge and he didn’t want to talk about it.

They stumbled down the sidewalk to the station, laughing as Kuroo told Kenma about Bokuto’s revelation. “So he just let Akaashi go home with someone else even though he knows he’s in love with him?”

“I’m not sure about love,” Kuroo smirked. “It’s more like he wants Akaashi to Dom him and only just realized it tonight that it’s sexual and not just weird dreams.”

“I’m sure Akaashi would be more than willing.”

Kuroo shrugged, still smirking down at Kenma. “He doesn’t seem ready to deal with it yet. Let him figure it out on his own terms.”

“His own terms is letting Akaashi get smashed by Iwaizumi’s giant dong,” Kenma chuckled to himself. Oh, he was still drunk, he realized. Giggling into a soft sigh, Kenma pulled out his phone. “Shit, that reminds me I never texted Tora back.”

Kuroo stopped in the middle of the street. “Wait. What? That reminds you of Tora? Why does that remind you of Tora?” Kenma turned around, scrunching his nose at Kuroo. “Is it giant? Does your boyfriend have a giant dick?” Kuroo had to jog to catch up with Kenma. “Kenma, come on! Answer me!”

Kenma rolled his eyes.

Kenma: Goodnight Tora

It was simple, but he knew Tora would be ecstatic when he woke up and saw it.

“Kenma!” Kuroo shouted. “It’s not bigger than mine, right?”

_ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for the comments, kudos, hits, and bookmark/subscriptions! It really makes my day!   
> I keep thinking about making a tumblr, but then my anxiety kicks in and I don't! I have my personal one though, so if you ever want to tag something related to the story, know that I'll find it and it'll make me smile.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo meets Tora.   
> Bokuto suffers through an uncomfortable bro-conversation at the gym.

Kenma woke up feeling like he was on fire or being smothered to death. His heavy comforted was pulled up over his head and hot breath was warming his neck. He flipped the covers back, gasping at cold, fresh air. Kuroo groaned at the sudden addition of light and tried to pull Kenma’s hand back to lower the blanket.

“Gah,” Kenma struggled to turn around in Kuroo’s arms. “Why are you in my bed?” He demanded.

“Hmm,” Kuroo mumbled against the pillows he formed around his head, “Nightmare.”

“What are you, five? Sleep in your own bed.”

Kuroo opened his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh, “Rude, Kitten. I had terrible dreams that you were ripped in half by a bear and needed to make sure you were still alive and safe.”

Kenma snorted, “Bear?”

“No good bear that was also Yakuza.”

“Why would bears be in a gang?” Kenma freed himself, straightening out the shirt he wore to bed. He eyed Kuroo’s bear chest before he pulled the covers up and Kenma’s peep show ended. He busied himself by pulling his hair up and checking his phone.

“Who knows?”

Kenma took one last look at Kuroo curled up in his bed before calling out, “I’m making coffee. Don’t just crawl into my bed as you please.”

He didn’t want to get up – it wasn’t even 10am yet – but if he stayed in bed, he knew he wouldn’t have the will power to kick Kuroo out properly. Escaping was his only hope to stop old habits. Kenma rubbed his eyes, not quite awake. He could make an amazing cup of coffee in his sleep, so he let his body take over.

Tora texted him and Kenma wondered to himself if Tora was an early riser. He seemed the type to stay up late and sleep in; the cycle that Kenma enjoyed personally if he didn’t have to open the cafe. That thought reminded him that he was behind on one of his games. Mobile games and PSP games were easy to finish quickly because he brought them everywhere. His PS4 hadn’t been used for more than Netflix and chill in almost three weeks. He had to finish his annual replay of The Last of Us. 

Tora: Good morning beautiful!!!!!  
Tora: Are you busy today?  
Tora: Happy three-week anniversary! Is that a thing? It should be.

Kenma: Why are you up so early?  
Kenma: I’m free.

He hoped Tora wouldn’t mind him skipping over the anniversary comment. Anniversaries besides the typical one-year ones felt too high-school for him. Kenma stirred in creamer and felt rough fingers curl around his sides, under his shirt. Kenma shouted, careful to grip his coffee better as his feet left the ground.

Kuroo lifted him effortlessly and deposited him on the counter, moving through the tiny space easily without another body in the way. “We need a bigger kitchen,” Kuroo said. His voice was low and grumbly with sleep.

“Don’t just pick me up.” Kenma snapped, scrunching his nose up.

Kuroo gave him a sly smirk before turning back to the fridge. “What do you want for breakfast?”

Kenma studied the muscles in Kuroo’s back as he moved items around their fridge. He shrugged, sipping his too-hot coffee. The creamer did nothing to cool it down before it hit his tongue. “The coffee I’m already drinking.” He replied.

“Eat a better breakfast, we’re going to the gym today.”

Kenma looked down at the flashing notification light on his phone. “Can’t, it’s my anniversary or something.” He said, opening Tora’s message.

Tora: Date ideas?

Kenma hummed to himself. Dating Tora so far had been fine. He was tired of coming up with date ideas though. Tora wanted to spend every evening they had free together. Kenma figured that was typical for new couples, but he couldn’t help but long for more personal time and space. Even when they just watched movies together at Tora’s apartment, he wasn’t fully relaxed. Their past two dates were spent doubling with Tora’s friends Tanaka and Kiyoko. Kenma enjoyed playing mini golf and seeing movies with them but it was exhausting to be so social all the time. At least Kiyoko was quiet and appreciated the silence that fell between them comfortably when Tora and Tanaka goofed off too loud.

Overall, Kenma found that having someone to make out with who was proud to be dating him was nice. He never felt hidden with Tora. Usually he felt the opposite – Kenma wished Tora would back off in public more. He hated prying eyes of strangers when Tora tried to hold his hand and the hurt look he’d get when he refused.

“Anniversary…at work?” Kuroo guessed, his eyebrows dipped forward in confusion.

“With Tora.” Kenma ducked his chin down, letting his gaze fall.

Kuroo grunted, pulling the eggs and cabbage out of the fridge. “I still haven’t met him yet.” He noted, though his heart was pounding wildly in his chest. Kuroo stretched his spine, adjusting his glasses as he turned his gaze back to Kenma – who looked like he was obsessed with his current phone conversation. Kuroo’s stomach ached.

Kenma felt his cheek redden. “It’s easier to just go to his place. I’m not hiding.”

“Oh ho ho, see I didn’t think you were, but now I see what’s going on.” Kuroo cackled, smirking. “Hiding! Are you ashamed, Kitten?” He slammed his hands down on the counter on the side of Kenma, making him jump out of surprise. Kuroo closed the space between them, standing between Kenma’s legs.

“I’m not.”

“Are too.”

“Not.”

“Are too.”

“Are not.”

“Are too.”

“I’m not,” Kenma said, knocking his forehead against Kuroo’s for emphasis.

Kuroo pulled back, grinning. “Alright, bring him to the gym and we’ll play a game.”

Kenma’s stomach fluttered at the mention of a game coming out of Kuroo’s mouth. “What if I don’t want to play a game with you?” He questioned.

“You do.” Kuroo said, coolly. “Want an omelet?”

“Not if you put cabbage in it.” Kenma snorted.

“Cabbage is good for you. You need more vegetables.”

Kenma: Want to play volleyball?  
Kenma: …not just me. My roommate and a couple friends of ours play at the community center sometimes.

Tora replied immediately.

Tora: YES!!!!  
Tora: KEN!!!!!!

Kenma: We can go to your place after?   
Kenma: We never watched that movie you wanted to show me.

“I don’t want cabbage,” Kenma replied. He put his phone down and watched Kuroo use the tiny sliver of counter he wasn’t taking up to cut vegetables. “Make mine just cheese.”

“You can’t have just cheese.”

Kenma rolled his eyes and took another sip of his coffee. “Tora is going to play a game or whatever with us.” He half-whispered. Kuroo just grunted in reply to show he understood.

Kenma: Tora is coming to play today.  
Kenma: which means he’s going to meet Kuro for the first time.  
Kenma: and Bokuto.  
Kenma: Fuck, this is a terrible idea.

Akaashi: Hajime will be there.   
Akaashi: So at the very least, you can watch me hang from his arms

_ _ _

Kuroo eyed the human-bear that stood waiting outside the gym, checking his phone. Tora’s face lit up when he saw Kenma step out from behind Kuroo. Kuroo slowed his walk, feeling his anger flare up momentarily. This was the guy that Kenma chose. Taketora Yamamoto, average height, stocky build and muscular. This was the type of guy that Kenma likes. Kuroo suddenly felt self-conscious.

“Ken!” Tora shouted, pulling Kenma in close for a hug.

Kenma blushed, ducking out of Tora’s arms. “Tora, this is Kuroo…my…roommate.”

Kuroo narrowed his eyes, a sly smile on his lips as he held out his hand lazily. He squeezed hard once Tora gripped back, and jerked Tora’s arm closer. “Best friend,” He corrected.

Tora looked taken back momentarily before his usually toothy grin graced his face. “Yeah, Ken told me all about you.”

“Oya oya oya, he does?” Kuroo looked pleased.

“No.” Tora replied, squeezing harder and still grinning cheekily.

Kenma tapped Kuroo’s arm twice and he let go instantly. He blushed all the way to his chest when he wondered if that was a muscle memory or automatic response for Kuroo now. Two taps were their usual ‘stop’ during their ‘game’. “There, now you met,” Kenma sighed. He turned away and willed his face to cooperate.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Bokuto yelled, waving his arms widely. Akaashi followed behind him looking bored. “We finally have two setters to play a match now!”

“Bro, we still need another person for 3v3,” Kuroo reminded him.

“It’s cool, bro,” Bokuto nodded, his grin slide downwards slightly into a fake smile that Kuroo recognized anytime Bokuto didn’t want anyone to know he was feeling upset. “Keiji is bringing his…uhh…partner.” Kuroo patted Bokuto on the back sympathetically because everything about Bokuto’s face said that it was not cool. The last time they talked, Bokuto told Kuroo about realizing his feeling for Akaashi but not wanting to ruin his new relationship with Iwaizumi.

“Kenma,” Kuroo called out. Kenma looked up from showing Tora the newest level he reached in his game. “Warm ups.” He commanded, chuckling at the ‘ick’ face he received as Kenma’s reply.

Kenma hated running, jogging, even brisk walking. Really, any physical activity that didn’t end in an orgasm was generally disliked – volleyball aside. He didn’t mind as much when Kuroo pulled his shirt off and lead the team through the park using his captain voice though.

Tora kept pace next to him, telling him about the latest prank him and Noya pulled on Tanaka. Kenma zoned in and out of the story, trying to control his breathing so he wouldn’t pant pathetically in front of his first boyfriend. Kuroo jogged in front of them, laughing manically at something Bokuto said. Kenma felt himself wishing he was in on their joke instead of listening to how Tora and Noya replaced all the pictures in Tanaka’s house with pictures of monkeys.

They finished their fourth lap just as Iwaizumi arrived. He strolled up coolly in a tight tank top that even Kenma had to check out. Kenma eyed Akaashi as he clearly swooned over Iwaizumi’s massive arms that were on display, before glancing at Bokuto to see him flex his own arms.

“Are you warmed up enough,” Kuroo asked. “We can wait while you do a lap or two.”

“I ran here.”

“You aren’t even sweating,” Akaashi said, sighing with a blissful tone. Iwaizumi winked.

“We should pick teams,” Kenma changed the subject. He felt strangely pitiful of Bokuto’s pathetic stares at Akaashi and Iwaizumi; a secret understanding that unrequited love for your best friend sucked.

“Owls versus cats,” Bokuto said at the same time Kuroo suggested cats versus owls.

“Kenma and I will wipe the floor with you,” Kuroo smirked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Kenma doubted that. Akaashi has been practicing way more than he has, and both Bokuto and Iwaizumi were beasts on the court. Standing opposite of Akaashi, a bouncing Bokuto, and a cool looking Iwaizumi, Kenma couldn’t help but notice a glaring disadvantage. “This seems uneven,” He told Akaashi, who shrugged in response.

Kuroo was all long limbs – muscular but leaner compared to the bulging muscles across the net. Tora was buff, but Kenma has no basis for what his ability in volleyball was. Kenma, himself, was slim and wiry.

. . .

Kenma wasn’t wrong about the disadvantage; but at least muscle memory helped aid him set for Kuroo like he did in high school -though with a bit less finesse. “Kuro!” Kenma called out, the ball leaving his finger tips to where Kuroo was ready to spike the ball down despite Bokuto’s block. “Nice kill,” He called out softly before returning to a defensive stance.

“Kenma!” Tora called out once another chance ball came down on their side. Kenma struggled to redirect the ball in his hands that he intended for Kuroo. Tora spiked the ball down against Iwaizumi’s block, the ball falling on their side.

Still, he was persistent to complete a quick like Kuroo and Kenma had.

“Ken!”

“Kenma!”

“Ken!”

Kenma panted, trying to get the ball to Tora in the right spot to score but they never seemed to click with timing or with placement. He felt like he was chasing the ball around the court and struggling to aim to Tora properly. He wanted to give up. His arms and legs felt like they were on fire.

“Ken!” Tora called for another.

“Kenma,” Kuroo shouted, raising his hand for the signal they both knew. Kenma huffed, ignoring Tora’s obsessive calling for the ball and sent it to Kuroo to his left. Kuroo smirked, slamming the ball down on the opposite side, whizzing past Bokuto’s head. Kenma felt Tora’s eyes drilling into the back of his head.

The game ended and they lost to the intense spikes of Iwaizumi and Bokuto. Kenma wiped the sweat from his forehead. He was tired. His body ached. He wanted to go home and order a pizza and finish playing The Last of Us, and maybe play shitty Halo with Kuroo.

“We’re done,” Kuroo called out, wiping his face with the shirt he abandoned.

“What? Come on, bro!” Bokuto whined on the other side of the net. “I’m just getting started.”

“I need to lift, bro,” Kuroo smirked, his eyes sliding to Kenma, who seemed winded. “I’m losing tone.”

Bokuto seemed to perk up and accept Kuroo’s shoddy excuse to not play another set. Kuroo tossed his sweaty shirt over Kenma’s head on his way past. “Stretch out properly before you leave. Text me,” He said, a sly and knowing grin on his face. Kenma pulled the shirt off and tossed at towards Kuroo’s gym bag; his face was red and tired.

“Thanks,” he practically whispered. It amazed him that Kuroo could read him so well sometimes. He was trying extra hard not to seem exasperated in front of Tora, yet Kuroo always knew when he was pushed past his limit and needed to stop. It was like no matter where they were, the other was always watching out of the corner of their eye to check in.

“That’s it?” Tora yawned even though he looked energized. “We’re done already?”

Kenma looked downcast and shrugged. Tora was slightly annoying to play with; although he still had fun. Spirited people who try too hard exhausted him more than usual. It was only three hours into their ‘anniversary’ date and Kenma needed a break from his high energy.  “Let’s go back to your place and shower,” Kenma suggested.

“Text me later,” Akaashi told Kenma. Kenma wondered if he planned to stay and lift weights – Iwaizumi looked the type to lift often – or if he was also planning on ditching the rest of gym day with the bros.

“I’m going to grab a drink from the vending machine before we leave,” Tora said, pointing towards the hallway outside the gym that connected it to the weight room and cardio machines. “Want anything?”

Kenma shook his head; he was fine with the water Kuroo grabbed for him before they left.

“Help Bo take down the net, Kitten,” Kuroo said low, practically in Kenma’s ear. He shivered and looked up at the sly smile.

“Fuck!” Bokuto shouted, grabbing their attention, as he tangled himself in the net and fell to the floor like a caught salmon.

Kenma sighed, “Yeah, I’m coming…” Bokuto tangled himself up whenever he was left alone with a net. So where was Akaashi when you needed him? Ahh, Kenma thought, glancing over to the side of the gym. Clearly Akaashi was busy flirting with Iwaizumi as they put the poles and ball back into the storage closet.

Kuroo slipped into the hallway as soon as Kenma turned his back. Tora was contemplating which sports drink flavor to get aloud to himself. “Hey,” He called out, looking Tora up and down. Kuroo’s stomach twisted as he looked on what he assumed was Kenma’s type. Tora looked like trouble – angled jawline, muscular body, mohawk and bleached hair. Kuroo wondered if he also had tattoos that he just was hiding. He bet he did – ruffians always had dumb tattoos.

Tora turned around, his eyes narrowed slightly like he expected his confrontation. “Hey,” He replied coolly.

Kuroo stepped closer, trying to use his height to cage Tora in by the machine and look intimidating. When Tora didn’t flinch or move back, Kuroo doubted it worked. “About Kenma,” He started, using what Kenma referred to as his captain voice. “If you are just trying to play around with someone, leave Kenma alone.”

“Hah?” Tora snorted, his face painted with irritation. “You think that’s what is going on?”

“Yeah, I do,” Kuroo said, squaring his shoulders and gritting his teeth. “I know your kind, yakuza wannabes that fuck around for fun and never get serious.”

Tora looks around as if he’s checking if they are truly alone before replying, snappish, “You know what I think? I think you like Ken and this isn’t some sort of brotherly concerned chat like you are trying to play it off as. I see how you look at him, _Kuroo_.” He breaks up Kuroo’s name as he steps forward. “Back off my boyfriend.”

Kuroo can feel his anger rising and blood boiling. He clenches his fist tightly so he doesn’t actually swing at Tora like he really wants to. “Fine,” He says, voice calm and controlled even though he doesn’t feel that way. “But you should know, your boyfriend likes to be bitten on his thighs.” Kuroo smirks at Tora’s surprised expression before backing up and heading towards the weight room. “Tell Kenma, I’ll see him at home.” He called out, leaving Tora seeing red by the drink machine.

_ _ _

Kenma didn’t stretch out properly before they left the gym. His calves hurt from running back and forth on the court. Still, Tora’s large hands were working through his tense shoulders after they showered and it felt so nice. He hummed, leaning back against Tora’s chest on his bed. The small studio was considerably cleaner than when he was last over for ‘movies and chill’. Tora even moved his homework and notes off his small table and to his desk so they could eat more comfortably.

He was a good boyfriend.

Kenma chastised himself for being a shitty boyfriend in return. Here they were cuddled up in bed, while he got a back massage from his loving boyfriend, and his mind still slipped to what Kuroo was doing and if he was hiding being sad about Kanna, if he was lonely…if him sleeping in Kenma’s bed meant anything besides convenient friendship.

Tora cleared his throat. “So…Kuroo…” Kenma’s shoulders tensed up under his fingers and he sighed. “You’ve know each other a long time, right?”

“Yeah,” Kenma said, nodding. His shoulders were still tight. “Since we were little kids.”

Tora clenches his jaw and starts rubbing Kenma’s shoulders more so they loosen up. The movie they put on is kind of boring and this is when he would usually try to make a move, but Kenma seems anxious. “Is…he gay?” The words leave his mouth slowly like he’s afraid to ask and know the answer.

Kenma’s shoulder slump forward as he shakes his head. Tora wishes he could see his face, but he doesn’t want to move. As if changing positions now would break whatever they are up and Kenma would float away. He feels confident with Kenma in his arms right now.

“No, he’s not.”

Tora choked back a sigh of relief. He hoped that Kuroo was just teasing him with the biting comment, but his gut was telling him that wasn’t true anyway. Still, he’s rather pretend it was a lie to rile him up.

Kenma pulled away to turn around and Tora felt his insecurity boil up inside his chest momentarily. “I don’t want to talk about Kuro.” He said, shifting to straddle Tora’s lap and wrap his arms around his neck.

“Okay,” Tora nodded, leaning in to meet Kenma’s mouth halfway. He grabbed Kenma’s round cheeks and pulled him in tighter, kissing hard.

Kenma rocked his hips back and forth, smiling against Tora’s mouth as he felt him get hard. Tora grips his face and its uncomfortable but he feels secure. It feels like Tora doesn’t want to let him go; like he’s wanted all the way down to his core. It’s exciting, although a bit rough. Tora pushed him back so he’s on his back and Kenma can’t help up be relieved. The past few times they’ve done anything sexual he was forced to do most of the work and it was exhausting.

Tora squeezes his cheeks together once more before letting go and starts peeling Kenma’s clothes off. “You are so beautiful, Ken,” He gushes, pulling sweat pants and boxers down over slim hips and a round ass. Kenma covers his face, turning it to the side. Tora kisses down his stomach, pushing his legs apart as he travels down. Kenma’s dick bobs excitedly against his stomach as Tora reaches his belly button.

Tora glances up at Kenma’s blissful face once more before nipping at his inner thigh. Kenma moans out loudly, unexpectedly, and Tora felt his stomach drop. He felt irritated, riled up, frustrated. He hates that he’s thinking about that sly faced bastard between Kenma’s legs like this. He bites a little harder next and Kenma gasps, long, slim fingers digging into Tora’s mohawk. He bites and sucks until bruises form on Kenma’s tights all the way down to his knees. Kenma keeps panting, his back coming off the bed to arch up in pleasure.

Tora pulls back to admire his work. Kenma is purple and blue; his eyes are watering from gasping and panting and moaning and Tora is in awe of how incredible he looks. “Fuck, you are so hot.” He reaches under his pillow for the lube he stashed their while Kenma was in the shower. “Can I finger you?”

Kenma covers his face with his arms but nods. “Yes,” He croaks out.

. . .

“You okay, bro?” Bokuto askes as Kuroo grunts, lifting his final set over his head. “You seem really pissed off all of a sudden.”

“I’m fine.” Kuroo snaps a little. He puts back his weights but grabs the next set of heavier dumbbells.

“Is this about Kenma and that dude?”

Kuroo nearly drops his weights on his toes. “No!”

Bokuto looks unconvinced as he curls his arms forward, working his biceps. “Then what’s wrong? Are you upset about Kanna still?”

“I’m not upset about anything!”

“You just seem really mad and jealous since Kenma left.”

Kuroo’s chest hurt. His lungs were aching and it wasn’t because of the weights. His entire body felt heavy and twisted and wrong. Blinking back tears that formed, he admitted, “I might be.”

The weight room was empty, though two old ladies were on treadmills across the room in the cardio area. Bokuto set down his weights and grabbed Kuroo’s from his hands as his friend sniffed pathetically. “Hey, bro…it’s okay.” Bokuto patted Kuroo’s back. “It’s okay.”

“Am I gay?” Kuroo blurted out, tears now falling freely down his cheeks. He felt pitiful and gross, standing around in a weight room with his friend as he cried over his own sexuality crisis.

“I don’t know,” Bokuto shrugged. “I don’t think I can answer that for you.”

“I like women,” Kuroo answered himself. He rubbed his eyes dry. “But I also like Kenma.”

“Yeah,” Bokuto barked out a laugh, “We all know that.”

“So, what am I?”

Bokuto shifted his weight from one hip to another, uncomfortable. He didn’t know why Kuroo was so hung up on labeling himself one way or another. He didn’t think pointing out that opinion would be helpful right now though. Instead he asked, “Does it matter?”

Kuroo turned to face him, eyes, although puffy from tears, were sharp. “Of course, it matters. I’m my parents only son. How the fuck am I going to take care of them and start a family to pass on my name if I’m gay?”

“That’s a really old and narrow way of thinking, bro” Bokuto pointed out.

“They’d be so disappointed in me.”

“Are you sure?”

“I don’t know.” Kuroo grunted.

Bokuto sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. He didn’t think he would be having this conversation in a weight room at their community gym. He always imagined a beautiful bro heart-to-heart while they were drunk off hard liquor and throwing up in a park. “Do you think Kenma’s parents are disappointed in him?” He asked next.

Kenma was also the only son of the Kozume’s. He had been out to his parents since high school though and after a short rough patch, they seemed to remain the same distant, busy, but loving parents they always were. Kuroo doubted they ever expected Kenma to carry on the family name even if he was straight.

“Of course not. They love Kenma and just want what makes him happy,” Kuroo sighed. “I just don’t know if mine as going to be as forgiving. My mom has been talking about grandkids since I turned 20. She’s going to be crushed if I don’t have any kids.”

“Times are changing,” Bokuto replied, clearly still hopeful. “You can adopt no matter what sexuality you are.”

“People will look at me funny.”

“Let them look then.”

“I’ve probably already missed my shot with Kenma,” Kuroo finally said, tears welling back up. “I fucked up so bad, dude.”

Bokuto picked up the weights again and forced Kuroo to grab them. “Just apologize and get him back, bro,” He said like it was as easy as breathing.

. . .

Tora was terrible at fingering, Kenma thought to himself. He wasn’t sure where his boyfriend through his fingers should be, but it was nowhere close to his prostate. Every time he got close, Kenma would gasp out encouragement but his fingers kept curling away. This felt more like his colon was being prodded and checked instead of a sexual act. Kenma grunted in frustration as his erection started to waver.

“You are so hot, Ken.” Tora was chanting, clearly turned on and enjoying his own exploration. “Fuck, you are so beautiful.”

“Stop,” Kenma covered his eyes, throwing his head back to avoid looking at Tora. “Stop calling me that.”

Tora added another finger; he either didn’t hear or didn’t care. “You so gorgeous,” He sighed out. “Can I put it in?”

Kenma hesitated but nodded.

Tora pulled his fingers out, fascinated by Kenma’s hole twitching closed. He pulled at Kenma’s wrists so they could change positions and Kenma’s face fell. Reluctantly, he got into their usual position – him on top riding Tora. Tora groaned as Kenma sunk down over his length. “Shit, this is my favorite view,” He said, gripping Kenma’s hips and gazing at his body. “I love seeing you like this. I love when you ride me, Ken.”

Kenma’s eyes fluttered closed as he moved up and down. He hated his position, but he felt like he couldn’t tell Tora that. Not when Tora always told him how much he loved Kenma like this. Still, he felt like a frog when he legs were bent awkwardly to the sides.

He moved in a steady rhythm and leaned back to angle himself better against Tora’s throbbing dick. If he leaned just right, it felt so good. Tora slammed his hips up, their slow and steady rhythm ruined with every sporadic thrust.

Tora was chanting his name and how beautiful he thought Kenma was. It was distracting so Kenma leaned down to kiss Tora quiet. Tora’s thrusting upwards made his body feel like a ragdoll but it at least felt good. Kenma licked into Tora’s mouth and dug his fingers into hard muscle. With Tora quiet and his own eyes closed, it felt like Tora could be anyone. Kenma shuddered, Kuroo dancing through his mind involuntary. He prayed Tora wasn’t a mind reader.

* * *

 

Next time - flirting! Kuroo style!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey!  
> Sorry it's been so long - I have no excuse other than writer's block and lack of time to really sit and write.   
> I hope you, if any of you still read this?, enjoy this update. 
> 
> Thank you for those that hit the kudo button and/or commented or subscribed and stuff! I really appreciate it and it's always nice to be encouraged! 
> 
> Also, thanks for those that just lurk and enjoy the story as it comes in - I appreciate you taking the time to read this!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A date between friends.   
> Just friends?

Kuroo cracked open a beer and slid further into the couch. A sports anime was playing in the background, but he was struggling to really pay attention. Kenma wasn’t home yet and he was sure the last train was soon. He contemplated texting, but the thought that Kenma night not answer because he was busy with…Tora, made him want to puke. Or worse, Kenma would respond but tell him that he’s spending the night there. Gross.

He tipped his head back and let the entire bottle flow down his throat with ease. That settled it, Kuroo was getting drunk tonight. He swallowed his second beer just as quickly as his first and opened the third. His stomach growled; angry that he hadn’t eaten since grabbing a quick snack with Bokuto after the gym. He felt too embarrassed to eat; Kuroo wanted to punish himself for crying so freely in a community weight room. Even the old ladies stopped to check on him like he was a little kid.

“Home,” Kenma called out, tried. His keys clanked loudly into the bowl his mother set by the front door. He slipped his shoes off and pushed them neatly next to Kuroo’s sneakers. Kenma felt his cheeks warm, thinking about how, again, he had to think of Kuroo to get off properly with Tora. He was a disgrace. He didn’t deserve Kuroo or Tora.

Kuroo hummed at him from the couch. He was flush from drinking and not eating properly. “How was your anniversary?” He called out, voice carrying into their bedroom where Kenma changed.

“Did you have the stove on? It’s boiling in here,” Kenma muttered, sweatpants hanging low on his hips. He slid their balcony door ajar to let in the cool air.

“You’re home late,” Kuroo noted and moved his long legs to the side so Kenma could curl up on his cushion.

Kenma kept his eyes on his PSP game. “I was at Tora’s. I took the last train.” He sighed, relaxing into the comfortable atmosphere of their apartment. His whole body felt on edge with Tora. It was like he was holding his breath and could finally breathe freely once he got home. Akaashi would surely say something about that analogy, so Kenma kept it to himself whenever he asked during their coffee chats.

“Do your legs hurt?” Kuroo asked, sitting up straight now and watching Kenma flex his toes. He took a gulp of his beer before pulling Kenma’s leg towards his lap. Kenma hummed out a ‘yes’. Between exercising this morning and then sex later with Tora, Kenma calves felt like they were on fire.

Kuroo massaged his ankles slowly, working his way up to calves. His head felt fuzzy and the anime in the background didn’t make any sense since he missed a whole episode by not paying attention. He thought about starting it over as his fingers inched further up Kenma’s legs.

“How was the rest of your day?” Kenma asked, turning off his game. He got stuck at the same level again and was having a hard time concentrating with Kuroo’s hands on his body.

“Fine,” Kuroo snickered. “Lifted weights, ate some dumplings with Bo…the usual.” Kenma squinted at Kuroo’s face, trying to figure out what was off about it. Kuroo paused to finished off his beer, letting the bottle join the two others on the floor.

He left out how he cried like a baby in the weight room over the fact that Kenma was shacking up with a yakuza wannabe and he can’t seem to accept his own sexuality. Kuroo closed his eyes as he shoved Kenma’s pant leg up towards his knee to better access his muscles. Kenma was smooth, even though light fine hair was sporadic over his shins. He tried to imagine being attached to another man that wasn’t Kenma. The thought of kissing another man didn’t appeal to him though. Women and Kenma seemed was his preference. He wondered what he could ever call that…HeteroKenmasexual?

“Ow.” Kenma hissed as Kuroo’s fingers dug into the hickeys on his thighs. Tora was rough with his biting; he was covered on both sides of his inner thighs from his groin to above his knees.

Kuroo pulled back, eyebrows dipped in concern as he pushed Kenma’s pant leg up further to get a better look at the bruising. His stomach felt like acid was boiling over up into his throat and lungs. “Fun night?” He choked out, swallowing the bile in his mouth. His stomach twisted tightly.

Kenma kicked his legs free and pulled his pant legs down. He scrunched up his nose as he met Kuroo’s gaze. He couldn’t read him; Kuroo looked blank across the couch from him. Shame bubbled in his gut and Kenma wiggled away.

Kuroo shot up and grabbed another beer from the fridge. “Right, of course you had a fun night.” He sounded bitter but Kenma couldn’t see his face. He suddenly felt like crying. Kuroo suddenly looked…

“Are you mad at me?” Kenma half-whispered.

“Of course not!” Kuroo snapped.

Ahh, Kenma thought, Kuroo was mad.

Kuroo gripped the sink until his fingers hurt. This was his fault. Everything from the beginning was his fault. He was the one to joke around and kiss Kenma at that stupid party when they were in high school. He pushed Kenma to go farther than just kissing but then forced him to pretend it wasn’t anything but helping each other with their needs. He took out every annoyance, frustration, and shitty day between Kenma’s legs like it was normal. He cheated on every girlfriend he ever had and acted like fucking your best friend on the coffee table was normal hanging out time between dudes. It was his fault; if he had just made a move years ago, Kenma wouldn’t be dating some idiot gorilla and coming home with love bites between his thighs. That was Kuroo’s spot, though he had no actual claim to it and that made him furious.

His hands ached when he let go. “I’m going to get more beer.” He needed to leave. He couldn’t sit next to Kenma on the couch right now. He wasn’t sure what he would do.

“Kuro…”

“Are you hungry? I’m starving.” Kuroo did was he did best; run away and pretend the problem didn’t exist. He pulled on his sneakers. “I’ll grab some snacks while I’m there.”

“…Pizza,” Kenma called out, softly. Kuroo finally looked up at the worried expression Kenma was sporting. “I…want to eat pizza…” He looked so sad, curled up on the couch and hugging his legs close. Kenma rested his chin on his knees and pulled them in tighter. His eyes were hopeful even though he was slightly frowning.

Kuroo grinned, his heart beating fast in his chest. “Okay, pizza. Pizza and beer. Yeah.” He was nodding too much but couldn’t stop.

“Don’t get one with fish on it.”

“Right, extra seafood pizza.”

“Kuro.”

He snorted out a quick laugh. “Yeah, yeah.”

Kenma pressed his legs together tightly, ignoring the pain in his thighs. He smiled at Kuroo and wiggled down into the cushions of the couch. “Extra cheese.” He turned away to avoid the disapproving look Kuroo was sure to have thrown him before the front door closed with a snap.

_ _ _

Kenma glanced at the side to make sure he was alone in the café before pulling out his phone. Mei had just left for the day and they were in a lull after lunch, so he felt comfortable checking his messages. Kuroo had been texting him nonstop all afternoon, even though he knew Kenma was at work.

Kuro: This could be us but you just playing.  
Kuro: [picture attached. Download?]

The picture loaded quickly and was of two kittens cuddling in a window. Kenma’s mouth twitched into a slight smile. He was glad the awkwardness passed quickly between them the other night. After Kuroo came back with pizza and more beer, they pigged out and played a round of Left 4 Dead until two in the morning. Kuroo didn’t say anything else about the hickeys on Kenma’s thighs and Kenma didn’t bring up his outburst.

He glanced over his shoulder again before replying with a saved picture of two kittens touching noses on his phone. He pressed send and immediately regretted it. Kenma groaned softly into his arm; he hoped Kuroo would take it as a joke.

Kenma: This could be us but you’re a player.  
Kenma: [picture attached. Download?]

Kuroo was quick to reply.

Kuro: Oyaoyaoya?

Kenma regretted it. Definitely. He could almost picture the stupid smirk Kuroo was likely sporting right now.

“Whatcha doing?” Tora popped up next to him and Kenma nearly dropped his phone in surprise. He scowled at his boyfriend.

“Games,” Kenma replied, turning the screen off and slipping his phone into his pocket. “Are you done with the trash?”

“Yeah,” Tora said, stretching his arms above his head. His shirt pulled up slightly under his apron and Kenma eyed the sliver of muscle. Tora grinned, “You look cute today.”

Kenma pouted slightly, touching the simple braid Mei plaited into his hair. He wasn’t sure if he liked it or not. When he looked in the bathroom mirror, he thought it made his face look too wide. “Thanks,” He said anyway. His phone buzzed again in his pocket.

“Are you busy after this?” Tora asked, nudging Kenma with his hip. “Can we hang out?”

Kenma didn’t have anything to do after work. Still, he felt exhausted and wanted alone time while Kuroo was at his group study tonight. The whole apartment to himself sounded so good right now. He twisted his fingers in hesitation.

Just as he opened his mouth the door chimed and they both turned to greet the group that just walked in. “Welcome!” Tora called out but Kenma’s voice dried in his throat.

Tora helped him with the drinks but then had to retreat to the cat lounge when the group of giggling girls wanted to buy an hour in the lounge. Kenma chewed his lip, watching Tora hand an orange kitten to one of the women and laugh at something she said. Tora seemed to be over his awkwardness with female customers at least. He wondered if he should feel jealous.

He checked Kuroo’s message, secretly thankful for the moment alone again.

Kuro: Kitten for my Kitten  
Kuro: [Picture attached. Download?]

Kenma cooed in his head at the black kitten in the picture.

Kuro: How’s work?   
Kuro: Probably busy – you’ve stopped replying  
Kuro: Hey I got tickets to DGD  
Kuro: Date night with meeeee? This coming Friday!

Kenma blushed at the word ‘date’ that stared back at him. Friday was in a few days. He wasn’t a big fan of concerts honestly. They were too loud and crowded. He hated standing for so long – you had to stand in line to enter, then stand before the band starts, then stand all through the concert, then you had to walk or ride a crowded train home (likely standing). Still, he loved concerts with Kuroo. Even if the bands were usually weird American bands that he didn’t understand fully.

He still had a Dance Gavin Dance shirt that he stole from Kuroo in his closet. He also had off work Friday night. Tora had off as well, which means that he would probably want Kenma to have a date night with him – his actual boyfriend. Kenma glanced at the cat lounge hesitating, before replying.

Kenma: Okay

After their shift ended, Kenma told Tora he was too tired and was just going to head home. Tora suggested they stay in and watch movies but Kenma pushed back, saying his head hurt so he wanted to nap. It wasn’t a full lie, he told himself as he walked up the flight of stairs to the apartment. He really was tired. His head did hurt a little. He just…wasn’t going to nap.

Kenma pulled the cat eared hoodie over his head and tossed it on the couch before settling into his usual spot. Tora texted him already, checking in on his headache. He felt less guilty when he really did fall asleep on the couch. His game left on the save screen on the floor.

_ _ _

The line to get inside venue was packed even though the band was foreign. Kenma’s teeth clattered together in the cold. He pulled his hoodie closer against his body. Out of the corner of his eye, Kuroo was doing the same with his leather jacket. They were surrounded by fellow fans all clad in black, grey, or some plaid. Kenma felt out of place; like he wasn’t cool enough to even be in line with everyone else. He hated how self-conscious he was feeling.  

Kuroo bounced on his feet, excited, next to him. “We haven’t done something just us in ages.” He said.

Kenma hummed. Kuroo didn’t mean it as such, but it felt like a jab at him for spending so much of his free time with Tora. The extent he has hung out with Kuroo alone was just eating and playing video games or watching Netflix in their apartment. They really hadn’t spent time out together in months now. “Sorry,” He mumbled.

Kuroo shrugged. “Been busy with stuff.” The way he said stuff sounded off to Kenma but he didn’t really want to chat in the cold.

He scanned the crowd and stiffed when his eyes fell on a familiar face. As if he could feel Kenma staring, James turned around and adverted his eyes. He held up his hand a little as if he was waving hello. Kenma looked up at Kuroo who was breathing into his hands, oblivious. “I’ll be right back.” Kenma mumbled, slipping away and further up the line before Kuroo could answer.

James kept glancing up and then at his feet, as if he was afraid to look Kenma fully in the face. He didn’t mind though; too much eye contact felt gross. Like his skin was crawling off his bones. James was sweating even though it was cold outside. Kenma wondered if that was a foreigner thing – sweating all the time. Still, it didn’t bother him.

“Hey,” He said, silence between them was filled with chatter from those around in the line.

“Hey,” James replied slowly, as if he was breathing out the word. “Kenma, listen, I’m sorry for before.”

“It’s okay.”

James looked surprised. Maybe he expected Kenma to come over and make a fuss?

“I came over to say it’s okay,” Kenma continued. It was a half lie; he had no idea what he was going to say once he stood in front of him. “But you should have just told me from the beginning that that wasn’t you in the photos. I felt really…” He struggled to find the right word. “stupid.” Close enough.

“I didn’t think I would be your type otherwise.”

“We won’t know now.”

“Yeah,” James said, clearing his throat. This was awkward. Kenma could almost see how awkward it was between them. The lack of eye contact, the short replies, and the was James kept hanging his head. “Well, I’m sorry for how I acted. Seriously.”

“It’s okay,” Kenma reiterated. “I’m sorry too though. For ghosting you. That was mean.”

“It’s okay,” James replied.

Kenma shifted, uncomfortable. “Enjoy the show,” He finally said and turned to leave but James grabbed his arm gently.

“I’m going to be a better person,” James said but Kenma wasn’t certain that was actually for him to hear or for James to say to himself.

“Yeah,” Kenma agreed, “Me too.”

Kuroo’s eyes were narrowed when Kenma returned. “What the fuck?” He just said. His body looked tense, as if he was clenching his muscles and preparing to spring into a fight.

“It’s cool,” Kenma assured him, wiggling back into the line.

The venue opened and they filtered in as their tickets were called. The open pit filled quickly and Kenma hung back to avoid being pushed into the center. Still, concerts were a pain with not being able to see well once everyone got going. Kenma balanced on the balls of his feet, scowling at the all head in front of him.

“Things will shift then they start playing,” Kuroo assured him.

“I know.”

The crowd was relatively silent through the opening bands but once the DGD backdrop fell, everyone started screaming. Kenma pulled his hood tighter over his ears and Kuroo instinctively moved to stand behind him. There was never tons of pushing or shoving at the concerts they went to, but personal space was worse than the morning train commuter. Bodies back close in and Kenma breathed in the too strong cologne of the guy in front of him.

Lights dropped and the stage was bathed in reds and blues.

“Gimme that canvas, let me paint some shit,” Screamed into the crowd, causing a roar of excitement. They were slowly shoved forward into the crowd and Kuroo wrapped his arms around Kenma’s waist.

“Pass me some poison, let me take a hit!”

Kenma smiled, covering his mouth with his hand. This felt right. Pushed too close to Kuroo’s chest, listening to lyrics he could barely understand, feeling safe while packed in a too crowded room that would usually make his skin crawl. Kuroo tightened his hold as he shouted lyrics to the song. Kenma choked out a laugh, realizing, he was having more fun being pushed against sweaty strangers and breathing in gross warm air than stupid mini golf with his own boyfriend.

“Don’t let this moment go to waste, you don’t know when the feeling could happen again,” He sang along with the band and the crowd. This was the one lyric he looked up and could remember the meaning to. Kenma lifted his arm and bounced on the balls of his feet along with everyone else.

He could feel Kuroo’s hands wiggle under his too-big shirt and grip his bare skin. He felt the air get knocked out of his lungs. Those fingertips weren’t friendship, he thought to himself. He mouthed along with the song but could barely focus. Kuroo rocked them side to side with the next song. His heart raced and his head was dizzy. He wanted this so bad and he was killing him inside out now.

Once the set ended and people were scattering into the street, Kuroo interlocked their fingers, giving Kenma’s hand a squeeze. They weaved through the crowd slowly and gasped the fresh out outside once free. It was freezing now after standing in a sweaty room. Kenma’s teeth chattered as they walked to the train station.

Kuroo wouldn’t let go of his hand.

“Kuro,” Kenma said, pulling at their hands slightly.

Kuroo breathed out, a puff of air looked like smoke leaving his lips in the cold. “Remember when we were in high school and would walk home from Kai’s parties after exams and you’d pretend the air was cigarette smoke?”

Kenma didn’t remember. He remembered being forced to go to Kai’s parties after exams every year, and he would somehow have the whole team crammed into his living room while his parents were gone. He never did find out who or how alcohol was always there. He’d drink whatever cup Kuroo would hand him with a mischievous grin. The walks back to Kuroo’s house, where’d he’d sleep it off on Kuroo’s futon, was all a hazy memory.

“You were really cool back then,” Kuroo sighed out as if he was enjoying a memory. He paused before adding, “Not that you aren’t cool now. I just…realized how lucky I was to be friends with you back then.”

“Kuro.”

“You were so quiet around everyone, but I knew better. You’re sarcastic and you joke around, and when you drink you turn into this…wild…I don’t even know. I’m just lucky I have you, Kitten.”

Kenma stopped in his tracks and yanked his hand free from Kuroo’s. “What are you saying this for?”

Kuroo shrugged as he replied, “Just, I miss you or whatever.”

Kenma felt terrified suddenly. He was afraid to have Kuroo explain himself just in case it wasn’t what he was thinking it was. He kept his mouth pressed tightly into a thin line, staring at his shoes. His vans needed to be replaced. His ankles looked too skinny in his tight pants. He probably looked stupid wearing such tight pants in the first place.

“Kuro,” Kenma said, his voice was commanding and loud. Kuroo perked up. “Let’s get a drink.”

_ _ _ flashback _ _ _

Kenma’s eyes were numb as he watched Yaku, drunkenly, do an impression of Lev. It was a shit impression but he laughed anyway. His cheeks felt warm and pleasant as he took another gulp from the plastic cup Kuroo placed in his hands a few minutes before. He lost count how many cups this was now, but he was feeling _really_ good.

“Oh my god,” Lev squealed, “Kenma’s laugh is so cute!”

“Shut up,” Kenma grunted into his cup.

A loud, obnoxious laugh coming from behind him made everyone turn to stare at Kuroo, doubled over and cackling. “You are such a chicken!” Kuroo was shout-laughing.

Kai swatted at him, embarrassed. “Whatever, dude. You do it then!”

“What are you guys doing?” Lev asked.

“Pokey game,” Kai answered. An embarrassed first year that was in the class next to Kenma’s stood by, turning red. “Kuroo is trying to talk big game like he’d do better.”

“I would do better!” Kuroo shouted, his fists in the air. Kenma rolled his eyes. Kuroo was beyond drunk and being stupidity competitive now. “Kenma!”

“Don’t drag me into this.”

“You’re just afraid you’ll lose,” Kuroo teased, his smile was sly and daring Kenma to prove him wrong.

Kenma scowled before chugging the rest of his drink. Cheers rang out behind him as he moved to face Kuroo. “Holy shit!” Lev shouted as if they were going to fist fight instead.

Kai handed them a stick of candy and Kuroo placed the cookie end in his mouth, crouching slightly so Kenma didn’t have to lean up as far to bit into the chocolate end. Kuroo nibbled towards him, the sly look in his eyes still there. It fueled Kenma to try and outwit him. Kuroo may have no shame, but he wasn’t gay – he would stop eventually, Kenma told himself.

They were millimeters apart when Kuroo pushed forward and pressed their lips together, hard. Electricity sprang through Kenma’s veins all the way to his toes. He had to steady himself by holding onto Kuroo’s arms that caged him into the counter before pulling back. He started up, wide eyed and shocked, as Kuroo looked pleased with how he clearly won whatever game he had thought up on his own. Shouting and hooting sounded throughout the house and Kenma wanted to sink away into a puddle.

Something about Kuroo’s heavy gaze told him it wasn’t over. The game was only starting now. He was so excited he might cry.

_ _ _

They chuckled over shared joked and drinks. Kuroo was venting about his last breakup. Kenma listened with disinterest as it seemed like Kanna annoyed Kuroo by simply existing after a while. He felt guilty for being so happy they were done. Kanna was nice, she deserved more than Kuroo ranting about something as simple as putting salad dressing into a bowl before the other ingredients.

Kuroo chuckled, “How are you and what’s his face?”

“You know his name,” Kenma rolled his eyes. Tora had been texting him since the concert ended and he gave short replies. ‘ _Out having a few drinks with Kuro_.’ He had sent. He ignored the buzz in his pocket for now. “We’re fine. Tora is nice.”

Kuroo hummed. “Nice.” He echoed.

Kenma took of a sip of the rum and coke with lime he ordered. It was too strong so he was struggling to finish it. Still, the pleasant buzz was nice. He checked his phone.

Tora: Where are you? Want to meet up?

He didn’t want to meet up, but he would feel even worse if he said no to his boyfriend. Kenma wondered if he was broken; he should want to be with Tora all the time. Weren’t they supposed to be in the honeymoon period of their relationship? It felt like it only lasted a week tops.

Kenma: We’re going to head home soon.  
Kenma: I’m going to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow?

“Tora,” Kenma said, answering Kuroo’s questioning stare.

Kuroo frowned, “Checking in on you? What? Do you have a curfew?” He chuckled at his own joke. Kuroo rubbed at his chest; his stomach aching slightly. “Seriously, are you not allowed out with your friends?”

Kenma shrugged and put his phone away. “He just misses me.”

“You work together.”

“We don’t get to,” Kenma paused with his phrasing, “hang out at work.”

Kuroo pouted, leaning back in the booth. “I miss you though,” He replied quietly. So quiet that Kenma didn’t hear him over the regular murmur background noise of the bar. Kuroo slipped his regular goofy, teasing grin on. “I didn’t know he was the jealous type.” He said, loud enough to hear this time.

“I don’t know. Maybe.” Kenma said, agreeing. Tora got prickly whenever Kuroo was brought up in any context. Even if it was Kenma explaining he wouldn’t hang out after work because he needed to get groceries with his roommate. He thought, at least according to romance stories, he was supposed to be thrilled to have a jealous and protective boyfriend. Instead he felt sick and guilty anytime Tora seemed uneasy. This wasn’t romantic, he thought to himself, it was being trapped.

Kuroo’s foot teased his leg under the table. Kenma kicked back, playfully. Kuroo smirked at him from across the table and suddenly he was in a footsie war like they were kids. Kuroo ran his foot up and down Kenma’s legs, reaching his thigh before pulling away and starting at the bottom near his toes. Kenma wiggled, trying to block and kick at Kuroo’s shins. He looked up and caught the twitch of Kuroo’s lips, his own breath hitching.

“Are you flirting with me?” Kenma teased, the rum making him feel bold. He took another sip and winced. Still too strong, still kind of gross.

Kuroo lifted one shoulder slightly before chuckling. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“I don’t know,” Kenma felt himself giggle. “You kind of suck at this.”

“I don’t. I’m awesome at flirting.”

“You suck.”

“I’m the best.”

“Not.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Well, I could suck something else and see if I’m better at that.” Kuroo’s laugh was too loud and drew attention to them momentarily as other patrons were disturbed. Kenma felt his whole body turn red in embarrassment. He kicked harder and Kuroo let out a low grunt in pain. He winced, “Sorry, Kitten. Too far, my bad.” He didn’t sound sorry though. Kenma wasn’t surprised; Kuroo always took things between them too far like there wasn’t any consequences. Like he wasn’t killing Kenma in the best way with every tease and sly smirk and breathy sigh.

Kenma cleared his throat and struggled to finish even half of his drink. His nose felt numb, along with his teeth. At least he could think clearly. “We should head home,” He changed the subject.

Kuroo leaned back and closed his eyes momentarily, agreeing, “Yeah, okay.”

Kuroo draped his arm over Kenma’s shoulders on their short walk from the bar to the apartment complex. Kenma didn’t shake him off and let himself enjoy the heavy weight around his neck and the spicy scent Kuroo had. Like cinnamon and cayenne.

He tripped into their doorway, kicking his shoes off easily. Kuroo held back to straighten the mess Kenma made with their shoes while Kenma struggled out of his tight jeans in the small bedroom they shared. They brushed their teeth in their boxers together in the bathroom, Kuroo nudging him with his hip every so often. Kenma leaned down to spit into the skin and Kuroo’s hand brushed his neck to hold his hair. It was sweet, even though Kenma didn’t care if he got toothpaste in his hair.

“Can I sleep in your bed?” Kuroo asked, rinsing his mouth.

“You’re actually asking instead of just doing it? I’m shocked.” Was Kenma’s dull reply.

“Wouldn’t want to make your boyfriend jealous on purpose,” Kuroo grinned, folding his arms over his bare chest.

Kenma felt his own neck and chest flush slightly and he refused to look at himself in the mirror. He just knew he looked like an idiot. Standing mostly naked, pink and clearly eager. “Nightmares?” He asked.

“Nope.” Kuroo didn’t explain his request.

 “Okay,” Kenma breathed out.

They slipped into Kenma’s bed, laying side by side as best they could in the space. Kuroo turned to the side, burying his nose into the pillow that was covered in Kenma’s halo of hair. Their hearts raced, sleep not even close to taking them just yet.

Kuroo closed his eyes tightly, until it hurt. His whole body ached like he needed to be as close to Kenma as possible to find relief. He was still questioning everything, and still terrified at the thought of saying anything to his family, but being like they were, in bed and quiet, seemed to numb his anxiety. He was having lunch with Bokuto tomorrow and then shopping for Akaashi’s birthday present, which was still six weeks away but Bokuto was eager to get it perfect. He’d talk to him about it tomorrow. Maybe he’d tell him everything. He felt like he needed to tell someone.

Kenma’s breath slowed and he heard the soft sigh that signaled sleep taking him. Kenma’s chest rose and fell under the blanket. Kuroo studied his soft, sound face. He saw every face of Kenma’s; anger, happy, giggly drunk, blissed out, crying… He sighed as quietly as he could. He loved Kenma’s face. His cheeks, his angled eyes that were round and gold but quickly turned sharp, his pouty mouth that often thinned into a disapproving line, and the thin eyebrows that were still so expressive if you just looked hard enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa thank you all so much for all those comments and kudes and hits on this story!!! I really appreciate all the kind words and encouragement. There appears to be enough in my head for a few+ more chapters so I hope I don't let you down.
> 
> Next time  
> the end  
> the beginning  
> (and smut because I can)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not the smut you deserve, but the smut I gave.

Kuroo’s leg bounced under the vinyl booth as he waited for Bokuto. They picked a diner down the street from Bokuto’s office to meet up. Bokuto had been going in on weekends lately to prepare for big games later in the evening. Kuroo didn’t quite understand, but Bokuto said it was easier to write ‘cool things to say’ before the game even started.  

“You okay, bro?” Bokuto asked, siding into the booth. He was dressed up for the game that he was going to tonight. Kuroo scrunched his nose at the idea of shopping with Bokuto for Akaashi’s present while Bo was in a suit. Bokuto looked ridiculous in a button up and tie. His arms looked like sausages in white cotton casing. “You look like shit.”

“Wow,” Kuroo chuckled, yanking at the hair in front of his eye. His bedhead was slightly better than usual today. Probably because he slept with his nose buried in Kenma’s neck and only had one pillow around his head. He thought it turned out better than usually to be honest.

“I just mean you look like really jumpy. You high? You shouldn’t get high in the middle of the day, bro. That’s like…bad adulting or something.”

“I’m not high.” Kuroo felt a little high though. Waking up with Kenma made him feel weird. It was different than before. Everything felt different since the day he cried his eyes out in the gym. Kenma looked different even. More…just…more.

The waitress came by to take their order and gave Kuroo the stink eye. She probably thought he was shifty too. He ordered a basket of shrimp fries even though he wasn’t that hungry. Bokuto ordered enough to feed a small family.

“So,” Bokuto said, taking a sip of his water. “What’s on your mind, Kubro?”

Kuroo sighed, sinking down into cheap seats. The vinyl squeaked under his butt when he moved. “How did you know you loved Akaashi?” He asked.

Bokuto raised a triangular eyebrow; a talent that Kuroo was secretly jealous of. “Is this about Kenma? Have you told him you liked him yet?”

“I don’t know if I _like like_ him,” Kuroo trailed off.

“It’s okay to be in love with Kenma, bro.”

“It’s not that easy,” Kuroo snapped just as the waitress came with their order. She grimaced in his direction and dropped his fries on the table as if it burned. He lowered his voice to a whisper even though they were alone now, “I’m just struggling right now.”

“Because you like women and you like Kenma?”

Kuroo shifted uncomfortably. He pinched a fry in half but couldn’t stomach eating it. “I’ve been having sex with Kenma.” Bokuto dropped his fish burger, mouth open in shock with food spilling out. Kuroo’s leg was shaking around. “It started out as a joke at one of Kai’s parties. I took it too far.” He covered his face with his hands. Both feet were shaking now. “Now it’s like an addiction or something. We obviously haven’t touched each other since he started dating someone.”

“EHH, You never told me!” Bokuto yelled. “All these years and you never said anything! How could you keep that from me?”

“That’s what you have a problem with? I kept a secret from you?”

“BROS DON’T KEEP SECRETS, BRO.”

“What was I supposed to say? ‘ _Hey, Bo, I’m cheating on my girlfriend with Kenma. No worries though, it’s just a game where I stick my dick in him as friends’_.” Kuroo hissed back.

Bokuto put his hands up into a T. “Time out. You always denied liking Kenma but all that time you’ve been having sex, right? How could you even justify that logic?”

Kuroo angrily shoved a handful of fries into his mouth. He chewed as little as possible before swallowing it all down. It hurt his chest. “A lot of mental gymnastics to be honest. Mostly denial and bottling up a lot of shame and shoving that deep down into a pit of self-hatred.”

“EH?! That was poetic, bro!”

“What do I do now?” Kuroo sighed, finally finding his hunger and shoveling fry after fry into his mouth. Eating was a great distraction. “I’m not ready to tell my family. I’m not ready to say one way or another I’m gay or whatever. I just want things to go back like before.”

Bokuto scrunched up his nose and tutted. “You want to go back to cheating on women and Kenma being second string? That’s low, bro. I’m can’t condone that.”

“Oi! No, I just want it to be just Kenma and I again.” Kuroo snapped. “Things were better when what’s-his-face wasn’t in the picture.”

Bokuto hummed in understanding. “I get ya, bro. I just want Akaashi to stop skipping laundry nights. That was our night ya know?”

“Kenma and I saw a show last night and it felt so much like a date I asked to sleep in his bed just to pretend it was.”

“That’s pathetic.”

“Shut up, volleyball ball-buster.”

“Ouch,” Bokuto laughed. “Don’t kink shame me.”

_ _ _

Tora’s finger inched up under his shirt, tickling his ribs slightly. Kenma pulled their lips a part in a soft giggle. “Stop,” He warned. Tora grinned and leaned back over him to close the distance. Kenma had almost forgotten it has been a month of them dating now. The three-week anniversary threw him off, but of course Tora wanted to celebrate one month as well. He wiggled his hip up against Tora’s. After little debate, they opted to spend their anniversary making out on Tora’s bed. After spending the night curled up in Kuroo’s arms, Kenma was eager to do anything Tora wanted to ease his own guilt-ridden conscious.

He kept telling himself he didn’t do anything wrong. He spent the night out with a close friend. Then again, close friends don’t play footsies or spoon. If he let himself think too much about it, he would go crazy.

Tora kissed down his neck, fingers finding a nipple to tease. “Could we try something?”

Kenma’s eyes fluttered closed. He would probably agree to anything Tora asked if it made his stomach stop churning. “Yes,” He said.

Tora pulled away, flushed. “Could we make an amateur video?”

Kenma opened his eyes to stare down his reddening boyfriend. He thought Tora was going to ask for something like role playing, not filming. He wasn’t sure he was completely comfortable being filmed by anymore. “Um,” He hesitated.

“We don’t have to,” Tora assured him. “It was just something I kind of wanted to try.”

Kenma sucked on his teeth, thinking. “Okay,” He whispered. He wanted a sign, or something, that would prove to himself that he could be fully over Kuroo and give Tora a fair chance. If this wasn’t the universe opening up to him, he didn’t know what was. Then again, Kenma didn’t believe much in the universe having power over his pitiful life.

This was how he found himself in boxer briefs on Tora’s bed while Tora sat on the edge, filming with his phone camera. “Could you say your name?” Tora practically cooed. He was grinning too-wide, large teeth showing eagerly.

Kenma curled his legs up to he could hide his face in his knees. “Kozume...Kenma”

“Are you shy, Kenma?”

Kenma felt his cheek turn pink and hot. He felt stupid and exposed. Tora was smiling so earnestly back at him though. He hoped his cheeks weren’t too round in the video. Pulling his hair forward, he replied, “Maybe.” He sighed, “Tora, I feel dumb.”

“You don’t look dumb. You look really sexy,” Tora said. “I’ll ask you some questions like they do in videos, eh?”

Kenma nodded, still feeling dumb. His thighs were too skinny and he was self-conscious of how thin his ankles were. He figured he probably looked closer to a bobble head than sexy.

“What type of guys do you like?”

Kenma chewed his lip out of nervousness, and Tora made a sound like he liked that. “I don’t know. Handsome.”

“Do you like bad boys?”

Kenma thought back to Kuroo and his dumb glasses and nerdy flashcards. He had made up a terrible song to remember the stems words of different pharmaceuticals, Kenma couldn’t remember if it was Latin or Greek. Either way, it was dorky and cute and he laughed so hard when Kuroo performed it for him in the living room. “Nerds maybe,” He replied honestly.

“Do you masturbate and think of nerdy guys?”

Kenma’s mouth opened in surprised. “I don’t know.”

Tora was beaming. He looked like he was already hard in his sweatpants. “Will you show me how you masturbate?”

“Tora!” Kenma squeaked.

“Show me, Ken?” Tora whispered, huskily. “Please?”

Kenma’s fingers were shaking as he pulled his boxers off. He couldn’t look at Tora or the camera. He felt vulnerable. He liked his dry lips. Kenma really wanted Tora to have something of him. Closing his eyes, he leaned back and tugged lazily at his dick. It wasn’t hard yet – he was too nervous probably. He just needed to relax and be in the moment; get out of his head.

“This is so hot, baby,” Tora cooed. “You are so beautiful. Fuck, that looks good.” Kenma opened the bottle of lube and poured some over his fingers. Still trembling, he breathed in and out slowly to calm his racing heart. Tora grunted, rubbing his own dick through his sweats. “Stick a finger in. I want to see you finger yourself.”

Kenma pushed one finger past the ring of muscles and grunted. He let his legs fall open, allowing Tora to him push the digit in and out better. He added another finger and more lube. It was starting to feel good; really good. “Now what?” He moaned to Tora.

“I don’t know,” Tora grunted, jerking his dick. The video was probably blurring now. “I want to be in you so bad, I can’t think.”

Kenma nodded, “Yeah.”

“Can I film us, baby?”

 _If you stop calling me baby,_ Kenma thought to himself but nodded. As he expected, Tora yanked his pants off and laid flat on the bed, waiting for Kenma to climb on. Resisting a sigh of disappointment, Kenma lowered himself down once Tora rolled a condom and lube on. Tora steadied his camera, focusing on Kenma’s hips grinding down. And like Kenma expected, their rhythm was thrown off with Tora’s vigorous thrusts upwards.

It didn’t last long, to Kenma’s dismay and delight. Tora’s face turned red as he huffed, grabbing Kenma’s hip with one strong hand as he came. Kenma scowled and moved to lay on the bed beside him. He was still hard and it was too embarrassing to have to ask his boyfriend to finish him off. Tora never offered either in instances like this. They just…stopped.

“That was amazing,” Tora gushed.

“Sure,” Kenma couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his throat. He could feel his eyebrows pinch in and struggled to compose his face. It wasn’t Tora’s fault that he was too chicken shit to ever ask for what he wanted. He wasn’t a mind reader. Still, he wished Tora would just _know_.

“Wow,” Tora snorted. “That was a lot of sass.”

“It’s fine.” Kenma lied. He wanted to drop whatever fight this was clearly becoming. “I’m hungry,” He offered, “We should get dinner.”

“Why don’t you ever talk to me?” Tora snapped, sitting up. “You just get snippy and act like I’m the bad guy.”

“I do not.”

Tora rolled his eyes. “Just fucking say it, Ken. You clearly have something you want to say to me.”

Kenma rolled over to face Tora. He could feel his face stuck on ‘ick’ and was struggling to shake it off. “It feels like we’re out of sync all the time.” He blurted out. As soon as the words left his mouth, he could feel tears start behind his eyes. It hurt.

Tora closed his eyes and breathed out through his nose hard. Kenma hated when he did that. It reminded him of a bull about to charge. “The reason we aren’t syncing up is because you barely even look at me.” Tora replied, his voice as soft and sad even though his breathing was anything but.

“What are you talking about?”

“You aren’t even looking at me!” Tora shouted, his voice was low and angry. Kenma sat up, trembling. “You aren’t even looking at me now. It’s like you stare off elsewhere.”

“I am looking at you,” Kenma choked out. It felt like a lie in his mouth. He looked at Tora but barely saw him. He was too busy focusing his mind on someone else. Someone who didn’t even return his childish feelings. He was a mess.

“This isn’t working for me anymore.” Tora sniffled. “I love you so much, Kenma. I’m so tired of chasing you and trying to get you you to want me back.”

Kenma wiped his eyes but he was ugly crying, naked on what was suddenly his ex-boyfriend’s bed. He was sad, ashamed, humiliated, angry at Tora, but most of all, angry at himself. “I just let you film me riding your dick and you’re breaking up with me?” He said, gaging slightly. “What is wrong with you?” If he wasn’t shaking so much, he would have punched him in the mouth by now.

“Here,” Tora grunted, tossing his phone to Kenma. He was crying too but Kenma didn’t want to let himself feel sorry for it. “Delete it yourself.”

Kenma did. He deleted the video and threw the phone at Tora, hard, as he got up. He had dried lube around his ass and his fingers were sticky and gross, but he pulled on his clothes anyway. “You could have given me more time,” He snarled, buttoning his jeans. He couldn’t meet Tora’s eyes.

“You could have talked to me,” Tora threw back at him. It stung because he wasn’t wrong.

“Don’t talk to me,” Kenma whispered.

“Kenma,” Tora said just as he had his hand on the front door. He turned his head slightly to show he was listening. “I’m sorry. Don’t quit, I’ll quit instead okay?”

Kenma slammed the door as hard as he could and hoped that would be a sufficient response. His fingers dug into his palms as he walked towards the station. His pants were dirty and his boxers were sticking to his thighs uncomfortably.

The train was awful. Kenma scrunched himself close to the door, chewing the inside of his cheek. He could feel the disturbed stares from other passengers but he was at a lost on how to make himself even smaller. They probably thought he was disgusting. His shirt was rumpled and his cat-earned hoodie was caught on the messenger bag he had filled with games that he intended to play tonight with Tora. He was sure his eyes were red from rubbing them on the walk to the station. He wanted to be home already.

He realized he had been holding his break when he finally stepped off at his stop. The shaky exhale burned and yet a floodgate had been opened. Angry tears streamed over Kenma’s round cheeks as he pushed his way out onto the street. Kuroo would probably be proud of his fast he was walking.

 _ _ _

Kuroo stared down at the shoes neatly pushed to the side and the old cat hoodie he forfeited to Kenma thrown haphazardly on the floor. Kenma wasn’t supposed to be home yet. He left just before Kuroo did to meet Bokuto. Usually, if Kenma was going to the yakuza-wannabe’s place, he’d be there until the last train. He shrugged off his jacket and carefully stepped into the apartment.

“Kenma?” He called out, dropping the beer he picked up on his way home on the counter. He stepped over Kenma’s jeans and socks. The bathroom was open, the light on, and steam was drifting out of the doorway. “Kitten?” Kuroo cooed, poking his head in. Kenma’s shirt lay abandoned on the bathroom floor, soaked from water in the bath.

Kenma emerged from under the water like a sea monster; fingers gripping the tub sides and long hair like blond inky tentacles. He turned his head slightly to face Kuroo. “Welcome home,” Kenma mumbled out a soft welcome.

“What’s, uh, going on?” Kuroo asked.

Kenma stared at his knees, curling his legs up close to his chest. The water was starting to get cold; he needed to reheat it. “Tora broke up with me.”

Kuroo crouched down next to the tub, leaning over to start the heater again. “You say that like the ice cream shop was out of sprinkles.”

“I’ve had a lot of time to come to terms with this.” Kenma replied.

“Again, it’s the same tone as saying that as if your socks have a hole in them.”

Kenma groaned and sank back under until his shoulders and chin were covered. “I need a drink,” He sighed. He didn’t want to think anymore. He thought all the way to the train, on the train, on the way home, at home, and then through his shower and half his bath. Kenma was tired of thinking about how he was awful and now desperately alone. The one person who liked him romantically, and yet he couldn’t’ act natural enough to make it work. “And snacks. And games.” He was pathetic.

Kuroo struggled to keep the smirk off his face. He was conflicted between wanting to cheer that Tora was apparently gone, and guilt that he would even feel that way when Kenma was clearly so upset. “He didn’t deserve you,” He settled with saying. Kenma scrunched up his nose.

Kuroo’s eyes had a glint as he left. Kenma watched him leave with suspicion but didn’t have the energy to question him. Instead, he forced himself up to change into soft sweatpants and an old volleyball shirt of Kuroo’s from high school. He wondered why he even still had it in his closet drawers.

He crawled onto the couch, his phone abandoned by his bed to avoid Tora’s concerned texts and calls. His psp glowed as he started up the game he has been working on for the past two months. Link ran across the small screen as his thumbs lazily pressed buttons. Navi yelled at him for taking his time checking every corner for resources and treasures before moving on.

Kuroo threw open the front door and kicked it shut, bags in his arms. He held up a bottle of Suntory Toki whiskey and two bags around his wrists. “Let’s drink,” He grinned, “And play some games.”

Kenma’s head felt heavy as he kicked Kuroo’s ass in Mario Kart for the umpteenth time. Kuroo always picked rainbow road and Yoshi even though he was terrible with both. Kenma blinded at the blurring tv screen. He was hit by a blue shell just as he neared the lap line and a CPU passed him.

“Fuck,” he muttered, grabbing his glass of whiskey and holding it up. “Kanpai,” He cheered softly, drinking the penalty Kuroo, Bokuto, and he came up with whenever someone hit a blue shell.

He crossed the line just before Kuroo. “Pie break!” Kuroo shouted, another tradition with racing games and alcohol. They both shoved a forkful of apple pie in their mouths before picking back up the controllers.

“I’m so full,” Kenma complained. Whiskey and apple pie didn’t truly go together, but the apple soda Kuroo mixed in his glass was helping some. His stomach felt bloated with all the sugar. For the first time since this afternoon, he was thoroughly distracted from his failed first real relationship.

Kuroo belched and waved the smell of pie, whiskey, and shrimp chips away from his face. Kenma gagged, kicking his legs out to push Kuroo away. “Oi, you can’t escape,” Kuroo smirked, abandoning his controller to yank at Kenma’s leg and force him closer on the couch. He blew hot breath in his direction.

“Sick.”

“I’m a real charmer.”

“Not.” Kenma retorted, dropping his controller now too to use both arms to fight Kuroo.

“Am too.”

“Are not.”

Kuroo wrapped his arms around Kenma and yanked him closer, until they were hugging as tight as Kuroo would make them. He buried his nose deep into Kenma’s damp hair. It was curling softly at the ends around his shoulders. “I definitely am.” He breathed against skin. Kenma’s shoulders started to shake and he pulled back. Tears pooled in Kenma’s eyes and fell over round, pink cheeks. His nose turned red as his face scrunched with pain. “Hey, Kitten, what’s wrong?” Kuroo asked sitting up.

Kenma shook his head. His mouth opened and closed a few times, but words never came out. He felt like his sound was trapped.

“It’s okay,” Kuroo hushed, “You’re okay.” He yanked on Kenma’s arms until he moved to sit properly in Kuroo’s lap. He rubbed up and down Kenma’s back, as it shook with quiet sobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _ _ _  
> And thus ends Kenma's shitty sex life. Hopefully, he gets it good soon?? ;)   
> _ _ _
> 
> AHHHHHH I love all of you so much. Seriously, you give me life. 
> 
> I apologize in advance because I feel my next chapter will be hella late. I'll do my best, in return, please practice self-care and love because you deserve all the best. 
> 
> Next time:  
> Mama Kozume pays a visit
> 
> Unrelated, I saw Dance Gavin Dance the other day! Concerts always make me long for a great Haikyuu band!AU. Anyone got suggestions to fill that void???


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mama Kozume visits  
> Kuroo makes a move
> 
> Warning - I seriously finished writing this ten minutes ago. I did not edit, like...not even a little. This is probably going to be terrible! *shrugs*   
> Also, smut.

Kenma groaned, the banging on their front door woke him up. He pulled away from Kuroo’s arms. Last night, once he calmed down, Kuroo wordlessly crawled into bed and hugged him all night. His eyes felt puffy and sore from crying all night. The banging got louder as he got to the door; it was making the pounding in his head worst. Even Kuroo got up and dressed to follow him out into the living room.

Kenma cracked open the door, eyes blurred from sleep still, when it was flung open. Mrs. Ran Kozume stood tall in her heels and fashionable black ankle slacks. Her blouse was feminine but screamed power. Kuroo was always amazed at how Kenma’s mother never seemed to age.

“Mom?” Kenma gaped.

Ran pulled her giant sunglasses off her face. Her eyes were clearly where Kenma got his own large golden hue. Her pink lips pouted. “Kenma, mama is here for you.” She gathered her son up in her arms, though he was her height even when she wore heels. Kenma was forced to duck slightly as his mother forced his head against her chest. “Breakups are nasty, but I’m here now.”

Kenma glared at Kuroo from his mother’s arms. Somehow, it was still threatening. His eyes clearly screaming, ‘you snitch, I’ll kill you.’

Kuroo shrugged, “I panicked! I didn’t know who to call!”

Kenma could only imagine Kuroo, drunkenly of course, calling his mother in the middle of the night in panic and not knowing how to get him to stop crying. His mother pulled back and pushed him out to arm’s length, looking him up and down.

“Kenma, your hair is a disaster. That man really broke your heart, didn’t he?” She tsked, brushing her fingers through Kenma’s hair. “Every bad breakup needs a new haircut. Go get changed.”

“I’m fine,” Kenma replied. “I don’t need to get my hair cut.”

Ran Kozume eyes narrowed as she crossed her thin arms and tapped her fingers against her arm. Kuroo gulped loudly; that disapproving mother’s stare was one he still feared as a grown man. He felt like he was 14 again and Kenma’s mom was scolding them for breaking a flower vase. Kuroo nudged Kenma.

Kenma locked eyes with Kuroo, staring deep into the pools of swirling fear. “Coward,” He breathed out softly and trudged to the bedroom to change.

Kuroo decided he might be equally terrified of both Kozumes. “So,” He started. Ran raised a perfect eyebrow. “How was…the train?”

“Tetsurou, sweetie, thank you for calling me.” Ran looked melancholic momentarily before straightening her already perfect blouse out. “Kenma doesn’t usually call home to chat. I never know what’s going on with him.”

“He’s-“

“My son and I’m giving you my thanks for calling me when something was wrong.”

Kuroo nodded, glancing at the hallway to their bedroom. Kenma’s soft steps padded along the hardwood. Kuroo’s heart sped up and his face went numb as he took in Kenma. Slightly slouching but still oddly breathtaking in a too-large shirt and too-tight jeans.

“Why are you wearing that shirt? You’re a grown man! Put on a nicer shirt for your mother.”

Kenma sighed dramatically but turned on his heel back into the bedroom. He returned a minute later in a button down that his mother gave him for his birthday. He widened his stance and held out as arms, waiting for her passive approval.

“Let’s go then,” Ran nodded her head once and slipped her sunglasses back on. Kenma was certain that was the closest thing he was going to get to approval any day. He threw Kuroo one last glare before following his mother out.

Kenma’s mother was the best at sniffing out high-end salons and bakery shops with the best lattes. He even started to feel better with a hot coffee in his hand and his mother chatting his ear off about the latest gossip in the neighborhood. Apparently, the neighbor got a new puppy and the barking has been insufferable for his mother…on the days she is even home to hear it.

Ran set down her cup. “So, tell me about this boy. I thought you were dating Tetsurou.”

Kenma nearly choked and had to cough a few times to clear his airway. “No, we aren’t…Kuroo and I never…We’re just friends.” He explained.

Ran looked doubtful. “Oh, so you are saying I was a very supportive and understanding mother and let you two have all those secretive sleepovers in high school for no reason?”

Kenma stayed quiet. Choosing to sip his coffee instead.

“Well if not Tetsurou, then what happened with that other one?”

Kenma shrugged, “We just didn’t mesh well.”

“Kenma, your dating pool is small enough as is, please don’t be so picky.”

It was a typical response from his mother, so Kenma wasn’t surprised. He was still disappointed though. Ran was harsh his entire life, but still a loving mother. It was like she had to show how much she cared for her son by rude comments and disapproving looks. He needed to decode everything she said to find the true meaning. ‘I’m worried about you finding a partner and happiness’ is what he figured she meant.

“I’ll be fine.”

Ran pursed her lips and nodded. She finished her latte and glanced at her watch. “Well, it appears to be nothing a fresh look can’t fix. We’ll have a day of it and by tonight you’ll be ready to head back out there.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Kenma said softly. Ran smiled slightly before pursing her lips back into her usual formal neutral expression.

The stylist at the salon cut the dead ends off Kenma’s hair, shortening the length back to brush the top of his shoulders. The faded toner was rinsed out with a deep oil conditioning and replaced with a more natural color. Kenma felt trapped under his mother’s whim as he laid back in the chair, letting a nice woman plaster his face with a mud mask. His mother, in the chair next to him, also getting a mask applied.

“Now with this natural color, Kenma, you can come work at my office. We’re looking for a new administrative assistant for the marketing department. You like photoshop don’t you?”

His mother was likely over simplifying the position. It’d like pay a lot more than making drinks and cleaning litter pans at the cat cafe, but it would be totally awful. The thought of having to work in his mother’s busy office building, surrounded by people, being busy every minute of the day…it sounded like hell.

“I’ll think about it,” Kenma lied. His mother snorted, but it sounded amused.

_ _

Kuroo listening to music low while he picked up the empty beer bottles by the couch. Kenma sent him a few messages expressing his displeasure of having alone time with his own mother that Kuroo chose to ignore. The heartfelt expression of gratitude and mothering worry that Ran expressed earlier though made Kuroo feel he did the right thing by leaving her a message last night. Kenma puts on a tough face, but when he cracks, it feels like an ocean wave. Kuroo ended up calling her after Akaashi and Hinata didn’t answer their phones and he was making a cup of tea while Kenma cried on the couch in a little ball.

Finishing up the dishes, Kuroo leaned back and admired how clean he managed to get their small apartment in such a short amount of time. It had been ages since they last vacuumed or mopped. He could at least feel confident that he wouldn’t gross out Ran more than expected when they returned.

A loud knocking on the front door startled him; Kuroo nearly jumping out of his own skin. It couldn’t be Kenma and Ran; Kuroo saw Kenma grab his keys before flipping him off. He glanced through the eye hole and scoffed. Blond mohawk and a strong jawline was all he could see.

Tora took a step back and folded his arms across his chest as Kuroo opened the door. A scowl graced Tora’s features as his eyes traveled up to meet Kuroo’s bored expression. “Right, you.”

Kuroo’s mouth twitched into a smirk. He got a sick sense of satisfaction knowing that he could rile Tora up. “Yeah, me. I live here,” He replied, then added slyly, “with Kenma.”

Tora clenched his jaw momentarily. “Kenma around? I need to speak to him.”

“Nope,” Kuroo sang, “He’s out.” Tora stare was hard back and Kuroo noticed the ring of red around his lash line. The whites of his eyes were pink from his own crying. “Why are you here?” Kuroo asked, smirk falling from his face.

Tora shrugged, not breaking eye contact. “I need to talk to Kenma.” He reiterated.

Kuroo felt his stomach tightened. “Are you trying to get back together with him?” He could feel anxiety pool in his lungs. If Tora wanted Kenma back, would Kenma be happy? He was so upset last night, Kuroo didn’t know what to do besides make tea, offer games, and hold him. Kenma reacted like his world was falling apart. Oh fuck, Kuroo thought bitterly, what if Kenma really loved this yakuza wannabe?

Tora looked Kuroo up and down a few times before shrugging. “No,” He replied. Kuroo let out a sigh of relief and Tora narrowed his eyes. “Things ended bad between us. I just wanted to apologize. I…don’t want to lose Kenma as a friend.”

Kuroo’s grip on the doorframe tightened. Sighing, he told Tora, “Yeah, sure. I’ll tell Kenma you stopped by.”

“Give this back to him for me,” Tora said, tossing a psp game to Kuroo. “I didn’t finish it but well…it feels wrong to play it without him around to tell me I’m walking in the wrong direction.”

“Ah. Sure.”

Tora gave Kuroo one long stare before turning down the hall.

Kuroo tossed the game on Kenma’s bedside end table. The bed was unmade from last night. Kuroo fell face first into the sheet and breathed in deeply, Kenma’s scent filling his nose. Kenma always smelt like coffee, apple spice, and home. He closed his eyes and told himself he wouldn’t sleep. He should be studying or working on his research or at least finish cleaning the balcony off.

“Kuroo,” Kenma called out, shaking him from his nap. Kuroo shot up in the bed, slightly confused and disoriented. His hair was flattened on one side and the imprint of the blanket’s weave was imbedded in his cheek. “Mom wants us to go for an early dinner. Get changed.”

Kuroo’s mouth opened slightly. The Kenma from their early college days sat at the edge of the bed, looking annoyed. “Your hair!” Kuroo gasped, rubbing his hand over Kenma’s head. “It’s like it was in college!”

Kenma rolled his eyes. “It isn’t. It’s longer than that.”

“It is! It’s just like it!”

“It’s not.”

“Is so!”

“Not.”

“So!”

“Stop flirting and get changed. It’s a nice restaurant, so Tetsurou, honey, don’t just throw on your sweatpants. Nice jeans and nice button ups, only.” Ran’s voice carried through the small apartment.

Kenma rolled his eyes. “She made me put mud on my face.” He angry whispered to Kuroo.

“But you feel okay now right?” Kuroo asked, grinning.

Kenma smiled softly, sending an arrow straight through Kuroo’s heart in the process. “Yeah, I do. Thanks for calling her.” He leaned over to bump his shoulder into Kuroo’s softly.

Even wearing the nicest jeans he owned and a button up, Kuroo felt too casual. Kenma, use to his mother’s expensive taste, looked comfortable in the black skinny jeans and a simple red button up with tiny black cat print. Ran ordered them all a glass of white wine to pair with the fish they all knew they would order.

Kuroo sat across from Ran, Kenma to his side. Every so often, when worry knitted his eyebrows together, Kenma’s pointy index finger would jab his in the thigh and he would relax. Ran’s golden eyes bore into him from across the table.

“Kenma, your hair needs fixing.” Ran commented before taking a slow tip from her water glass. Her eyes said, ‘go now’ though her body was relaxed and pleasant. Kenma wondered if his mother was the master of that move. Kenma suppressed a sigh and excused him to find the restroom. Kuroo watched his retreating back and dread slowly filled the air at the table. “Don’t look so scared, Tetsu,” Ran chimed.

“So how has work been, Auntie?” Kuroo smiled, folding his hands in his lap.

“How long have you been in love with my son?” Ran asked, nonchalantly, as if she was asking Kuroo about his school work or the weather.

Kuroo felt sweat bead at his temple. He used the back of his hand to dab it away nervously. “Am I obvious?” He answered her question with another question.

“Kenma doesn’t seem to know, but I think any stranger would notice the way you seem to stare at him.”

“We’re just-“

“-friends,” Ran finished for him. “I’m aware. Kenma says it all the time.”

“Ah, yeah. Best friends.”

Ran looked bored as she leaned forward across the table. Her gold eyes reminded Kuroo so much of Kenma’s; he couldn’t help but find similarities between the two Kozume’s expressions. Like mother, like son. “Well, if you plan to change that, do so soon. If I had to choose a partner for Kenma, it’d obviously be you. Don’t waste time just because you have my blessing, my cute son won’t stay single forever. I’ll make sure to that, Tetsurou.” Her words sounded vaguely like a threat.

Kenma returned to the table before Kuroo could reply. “Everything okay?” He asked, sitting down hesitantly.

“Perfect as a plum!” His mother cooed.

The fish was perfectly seasoned and cooked over an open flame, but Kuroo had trouble swallowing with Ran staring at him so intently.

_ _ _

Kenma bumped his shoulder against’ Kuroo’s on their walk from the train station. They parted ways with his mother outside the restaurant. Kuroo was walking stiffly; like a piece of wood pushed through the busy streets. “Are you okay?” Kenma asked. He looked up from his mobile game; happy to be able to play now that his mother was out of sight.

“Ah.”

“You look constipated. Was it the fish? It was too smoky for my taste.” Kenma questioned, his expression turning into the infamous ‘ick’ face. “It was like biting into a firepit.”

“I liked it.”

Kenma stopped him just outside their building. “What’s going on? You’re acting…weird. Weirder than normal. Weird even for you.” He slipped his phone into his back pocket.

Kuroo bit his tongue, staring into Kenma’s golden pools. They were like honey, sticky and pulling him in deeper. “Sorry,” He choked before yanking Kenma closer by the color of his button up. Their mouths clashed together awkwardly.

Kenma pulled back slightly to realign their lips, pulling Kuroo’s bottom lip into his mouth and sucking. A shiver ran down Kuroo’s spine and he tried to pull their bodies closer. His neck bent uncomfortably to continue their kiss. Kenma steadied himself on his toes by grabbing Kuroo’s shoulders and yanking him down further.

“Inside,” Kuroo grunted, pulling back. “Now.”

They struggled to get into their front door, shoes hastily tossed into the corner. Kenma pulled back from a kiss, out of breath. “Let me get cleaned up,” He whispered, leaving Kuroo alone in the entrance of their home.

Kuroo’s hands shook as he unbuttoned his dress shirt, tossing it on the floor. He yanked the undershirt over his head, listening or the bathroom door to click open. Kenma cleared his throat just as Kuroo removed his belt. Kuroo clutched his chest at the sight of naked Kenma in the bedroom doorway.

“Come here, Kitten,” He said, sounding more like a plea than a command. Kuroo lowered Kenma on the bed slowly, crawling over him and peppering his face with kisses. Kenma grabbed his face and directed him back for a proper kiss. Kuroo’s arms circled under him, cradling Kenma to his body.

“Hurry, Kuro,” Kenma moaned.

Kuroo, fingers shaky still, dove for the bottle of lube in Kenma’s side drawer and covered his fingers with the sticky goo. Two fingers slid in easily; clearly Kenma did prep work himself. The third finger was more difficult and Kuroo swallowed the unease squeak from Kenma’s throat. “I’ve missed you so much,” Kuroo admitted, pumping his fingers in and out and scissoring them to stretch the ring of muscle. “I’m not going to last.” He chuckled softly and wiggled down the bed.

“Kuro, don’t,” Kenma said, “I’ll cum right away.”

“Better you than me,” Kuroo grinned against Kenma’s thighs before pushing them open. His fingers continued to pump rhythmically. He kissed the inside of pale thighs before sucking and nibbling. Kenma let out incoherent words, his hands yanking Kuroo’s hair gently.

Kuroo focused on the spot that he discovered his first year of college – just a few inches from Kenma’s groin, lower than the middle of his thigh. Kenma groaned, his body clenching around Kuroo’s fingers as he spurted out his orgasm over his stomach. Kuroo pulled back, admiring his work, but careful to squeeze the base of his own dick to prevent himself from cumming.   

Kenma, panting and coming down from his own high, nodded at Kuroo. “More lube,” He croaked. His voice felt horse from the involuntary cries Kuroo just pulled out of him.

Kuroo smirked, coating his erection and Kenma with more lube before pushing in. He leaned forward over Kenma’s body, legs wrapped around his waist tightly. Kenma sucked on his bottom lip, arms locked around Kuroo’s neck so he couldn’t pull away.

Kuroo groaned into Kenma’s wet mouth. His body felt like it was on fire as he thrust his hips quickly. He couldn’t help himself. Kenma’s body felt so right, so hot, and so good. He was being sucked in; wet, tight muscle clenching around his dick with each thrust aimed at Kenma’s prostate.

“Cum,” Kuroo grunted. “I’m going to-“

“Me too,” Kenma moaned. His hips thrust up as best as he could, pinned under Kuroo’s weight on the bed. Sweat pooled in his hairline. He missed this. He missed Kuroo’s embraced. How Kuroo knew just how to aim his hips to make him cry out in pleasure, how he smirked when he knew Kenma was close, and how the snap of his hips was perfectly timed to make him see stars.

“Love you,” Kuroo gasped, his thrusting faster and harder than before. “I love you so much, Kitten.”

Kenma felt tears leave his eyes as he climaxed for the second time. His body clenching down, pulling Kuroo’s from his body too. He could feel the hot, sticky seed gush as Kuroo’s spine tingled beneath his hands. Kuroo collapsed on top of him, face buried in his shoulder.

Kenma sniffed, crying freely now. “I’ve missed you so much, Kuro.” He whispered, arms still wrapped around the broad back that trapped him in his own mess. He couldn’t bring himself to be grossed out or annoyed.

Kuroo pulled up, gingerly pulling his spend cock out and massing Kenma’s hips. They would be sore later, from being forced open and crushed under Kuroo’s weight. “You okay, Kitten? Did I hurt you?” Kenma shook his head ‘no’. “Sorry that was so short. It’s been a while.” Kuroo’s smile was sly as he stared down as Kenma’s tear-stained face. He thumbed one cheek dry.

Kenma nodded, still slightly choked up. He didn’t want to say anything, in case this spell between them broke and he woke up alone. Kuroo grabbed the wet wipes that were buried in Kenma’s side drawer and did his best to clean up their stomachs and thighs.

Kenma rolled over to his side. Cum dribbled out and Kuroo sucked in air at the sight. He didn’t realize he was so tuned on by cream pies, but he mentally added it to his porn tag list. Or maybe it was just because it was his cum in Kenma.

Strong hands rubbed Kenma’s back as he relaxed his score muscles. “Your stomach might hurt,” Kuroo said, apology laced his voice.

Kenma scrunched his nose before rolling on his back again. “More,” He demanded. His eyes felt puffy from crying again, and he didn’t feel very sexy with cum up his ass. Still, he wanted Kuroo’s arm around him again.

Kuroo’s eyes drifted back to the cum that was leaking with every tiny movement Kenma made. “I’ve got a few weeks to make up for, don’t I?”

“I want to cum so much I pass out.”

“That’s how you get hemorrhoids.” Kuroo snickered but leaned back down over Kenma to lock lips again.

 

* * *

Next time:

Kuroo has an uncomfortable conversation with his mama.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dudes!!!! Thank you for waiting and I am so sorry for that! I seriously didn't think that much time was passing.   
> I hope you all had a lovely pride month ~  
> Thank you for the comments and kudos and hits and subscribes on this!! It seriously makes me so happy to hear that others enjoy this.  
> Depending on timing, either there will be one or two more chapters of this story.   
> ILY.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Writers block means fluff/filler chapter  
> But hey! There is some BokuAka progress!

Kenma’s head pounded. He was certain his eyes were going to throb right out of his skull actually. The whistle of the espresso machine was killing him slowly. Kenma lowered his head into his arms on the counter of the café. He didn’t get much sleep last night and the lack of proper rest has left him with a terrible headache. To make matters worse, Kuroo was right – his stomach hurt.

Mei patted him on the head softly. “I love the new hair!” She gushed, pulling at a strand. “It’s so punk rock.”

Kenma counted how many more hours he had to stay at work. He wished he was in the cat lounge this shift. Tora locked eyes with him when he looked over and Kenma had to turn away quickly. Guilt and shame pooled in his mouth and it was bitter to swallow. Tora’s eyes were slightly red around his lashes but his expression was hard. His jaw tightened every time they had to brush by each other.

“Taketora said he was quitting,” Mei said, giving Kenma a sideways glance. “Did you two have a falling out?”

Kenma wanted to puke. He was a terrible person. Hooking up with Kuroo one day after his break up; how could he possibly face Tora now? How could he face himself?

“We…it’s…complicated.” Kenma sighed out. “Don’t let Taketora quit.”

Mei quirked into a smile. “Then you’re fine working together still?”

Kenma scrunched his face up. It would be a fitting punishment, but he’d really rather not. “Maybe…give us opposite shifts for a while.”

Mei nodded thoughtfully. “Okay, but only because it’s you. You literally never ask for anything.”

Kenma shrugged and busied himself by making his third iced latte for the day. He was tempted to text Akaashi to bring him some advil. He poured ice into the reusable cup that they all had for their personal drinks, then almond milk, and finally the triple espresso he pulled.

“Make me one of those,” Bokuto said, startling Kenma – he almost jumped out of his skin.

“Bokuto!” Mei practically cheered. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” Bokuto replied, his laugh was deep but sounded fake to Kenma’s ears. “Just in need of caffeine.”

Kenma, wordlessly, started on Bokuto’s iced latte. Though, he made sure to add in some caramel for sweetness. Bokuto loved sweet drinks and looked a little down, so Kenma dressed up the sides of the plastic cup with more syrup and added some decorative chips to the chocolate whipped cream. Bokuto took the offering with a genuine smile this time and sipped it, looking like a kid in a candy store.

“Mei, can I take my break early?” Kenma asked, paying for Bokuto’s drink even though he kept trying to hand Kenma cash.

“Sure.”

Kenma sat down with a warm apple muffin and his latte with Bokuto at the farthest table from the café counter. “So,” He asked, “What’s going on?”

“I wanted to check in on you,” Bokuto shrugged again. “Kuroo told me that you and Tora had broken up. Sorry, by the way.”

Kenma resisted the urge to look at Tora in the lounge. “I’m okay,” He lied, but he knew it would be true soon enough. The sting he felt whenever he looked at Tora was more guilt and embarrassment than regretful longing now. “How are you though?” Bokuto looked under the weather, emotionally.

“I think Keji and Iwazumi are going to move in together,” Bokuto said, as if letting out a shaky breath. Kenma mentally groaned, he didn’t like dealing with crying and hysteric Bokuto.

“Bokuto, not that I mind or am un interested, but why are you talking to me about this?” Kenma asked carefully.

“You’re like Akaashi’s best friend.”

Kenma shook his head as he replied, “No, I’m his friend, but you are definitely his best friend.”

“He tells you everything. He doesn’t even come over to see me anymore.”

Kenma shook his head, mentally setting a reminder to text Akaashi immediately after Bokuto left. “What do you mean?” He asked.

Bokuto looked exasperated with the thought of having to explain himself. “You know, like…he used to just come over and stuff. To watch movies, or like to make dinner.” Bokuto groaned, rubbing his face. His leg was bouncing under the table and it was slightly distracting. “Now he’s…with Iwaizumi.”

Head still pounding, Kenma rested his chin in the palms of his hands. “Bokuto,” He started, “I think you should tell Akaashi that you love him.”

Still pained, Bokuto replied, “That’s not that easy. What if I ruin our friendship?”

Kenma felt as if his eye was going to throb right out of its socket. “It won’t.” He said. “I know it won’t.”

Bokuto sniffed and clutched his latte tighter in it’s to-go cup. “I should get going actually. I need to head into the office. Thanks for talking to me, Kenma.”

Kenma rubbed his temple as he soft called out, “Just take the risk, Kou. You won’t regret it.” Bokuto looked ready to cry and forced Kenma into a very long, very uncomfortably tight hug. Kenma shoved half his muffin in his mouth; it’s moist sweetness felt too heavy in his throat.

Kenma: Bring me advil. Please.

Akaashi: Be there soon.

_ _ _

Bokuto was in the middle of scooping rice into the maker when a distinctive knock on his door sent rice everywhere. Akaashi let himself in and tutted softly at the mess Bokuto made of his apartment. “Keji!” Bokuto shouted.

Akaashi smiled at the familiar sight of Bokuto; sweatpants and tank top from the university they both attended. His usual spiky owlish hair was down from a late shower after work, curling slightly around Bokuto’s cheeks and ears. Akaashi’s eyes slipped to Bokuto’s exposed arms; drinking in the sight like he was lost in the desert.

“What are you doing here?” Bokuto choked slightly.

Sitting at the counter, Akaashi casually replied, “isn’t our show on tonight? I know I’m behind a few episodes, but I was hoping you’d be willing to fill me in on what I missed.”

Bokuto’s face screwed itself up before forming into an ecstatic grin. Akaashi felt his stomach flip and he realized just how much he missed his goof-ball best friend. He sent a silent thanks to Kenma for giving him a heads-up that Bokuto was lonely enough to seek Kenma out while he was working.

“Yes! Of course!”

“What did you make for dinner?” Akaashi peered into the pot on the small stovetop. “Curry? Again? Didn’t your mother teach you anything else?”

Bokuto took a seat at his counter. “So,” He asked tentatively, “Where is Iwaizumi tonight?”

Shrugging, Akaashi replied, “He’s out with Oikawa. It seems like he is back from his trip to America so they are having dinner together.” Akaashi didn’t say how he noticed immediately that Oikawa was madly in love with Iwaizumi, or that he found himself without a care or a hint of jealously like he probably should be. It was hard to focus on being jealous when Kenma interrupted his day just to tell him to spend more time with Bokuto because something seemed wrong. “Please fill me in on the episodes,” Akaashi said, smiling. His bedroom eyes crinkled at the corners when he caught Bokuto’s gaze.

Bokuto set off into a dramatic retelling of the past three episodes that Akaashi missed. Akaashi squished by him to clean up the spilled rice and start a larger portion in the machine for the two of them. It was easy to fall back into their old domestic habits. Bokuto telling wild stories with too many gestures, and Akaashi silently making dinner in the kitchen.

“So that’s about it,” Bokuto finished. Silence feel comfortably over them as Bokuto watched Akaashi spoon curry onto two plates while the rice finished up. His heart was aching in his chest as thin fingers curled around the ladle as if they owned it. “Keji, wait…” Bokuto pouted. “I need to tell you something.”

“What’s wrong, Koutaro?”

Already tearing up, Bokuto whispered, “I’m in love with you.”

Akaashi froze, ladle still mid-scoop. A million thoughts rushed through his mind but when he opened his mouth all he could ask was, “I thought you only loved volleyball?”

“I can love two things!”

“Kou,” Akaashi gapped, “I…”

“It’s okay,” Bokuto smiled, though tears were already forming over his round cheeks, “I know you love Iwaizumi. I just wanted to say it. So that you’d know.”

“I don’t love Hajime,” Akaashi replied slowly, as if he was stating a casual fact. The rice cooker dinged and he started on scooping them each a serving of rice. He set a plate down in front of Bokuto, eyes digging into his. “I’ve been in love with you since middle school.”

Tears rolled down Bokuto’s face freely and snot formed in his nose. If it wasn’t Bokuto’s face, Akaashi would have thought it was disgusting. “Keji…” Bokuto leaned across the counter as if he was going in for a kiss and Akaashi pulled back.

“I should break up with Hajime properly first,” Akaashi whispered an answer to Bokuto’s confused expression.

“And then we can date?”

“Yes.”

Bokuto hooted, fist pumping in the air. “I’M GOING TO CALL KUROO.” He leaped from his chair and almost face planted, trying to get to his phone.

Akaashi doubled checked that Bokuto was distracted on the phone before fist pumping a few times and jumping up and down in a victory dance. Bokuto looked up and Akaashi stilled, smoothing down the front of his shirt and smiling softly. He made a mental note to cheer and squeal with joy when he was alone. Akaashi Keji was not ready to give up his cool, sexy appearance just yet.

_ _ _ _ _

Kuroo slurped loudly on his coffee. He was attending a night seminar on tissue distribution, pharmacokinetics, and metabolism of brodifacoum by alumni of the program in his library’s lecture hall. He stifled a yawn as his gaze turned slyly to the tables along the left side. Kanna say with one of her friends, taking notes on every word the speaker was saying no doubt.

A body slide in close to him on the bench, causing Kuroo to almost drop his coffee. Himari gave him a coy smile, brushing her shoulder against his. “Hi.” Himari wasn’t in his program, but she was close friends with others in the year below him and often hung around the group.

“Hi.” Kuroo replied, turning his eyes back to the speaker and trying to force himself to concentrate.

“I heard you’re single again?” She was the epitome of cute from a magazine. In another time, Kuroo would have definitely been very interested.

“I’m…not,” He replied, hesitantly. Kuroo was struck with a sudden fear and realization; he had never actually confirmed with Kenma that they were now dating. In fact, they didn’t talk much about labels. Worry pierced his chest; what if Kenma was still hurting over his breakup? What if Kuroo took advantage of that and of Kenma? What if he will get home tonight and Kenma will awkwardly try to explain that it was a mistake and they really do need to stop falling into each other like that.

Himari scrunched up her nose, “Oh, I heard Kanna in the bathroom earlier and I…”

“Sorry,” Kuroo said, though he didn’t sound the least bit apologetic. He took another loud slurp from his drink and focused back on the seminar.

Kanna was waiting outside on the steps when Kuroo left the seminar. He forced himself to stay after and chat with the speaker; doing his best to focus and network like he knew he should. “Hey,” She said, as he took the last step.

“Kanna…hi.”

Kanna gave him a half-smile. “Sorry to spring out at you like this. I swear I’m not a crazy stalker or anything.” She was being her usual playful self but Kuroo couldn’t help but imagine just how terrifying a crazed stalker Kanna could be. “I just…wanted to check in? We kind of broke up weirdly…”

“I’m sorry,” Kuroo blurted out. “Sorry…for…everything. I’m sorry.”

Kanna let out a quiet giggle into her fist. “Is this because of Kozume?” Kuroo clearly looked confused and concerned, so she continued. “I saw how you looked at him. When you freaked out and broke up with me, I just kind of…knew.”

“I’m still working it out for myself.”

Kanna nodded, “Listen, you were a shitty boyfriend, and Kozume seems nice, so I guess this is me warning you to not fuck it up.”

“I…wasn’t a shitty boyfriend,” Kuroo argued, placing a hand over his chest in offence.

Kanna rolled her eyes, “You were probably the worst boyfriend I’ve ever had.”

Kuroo gapped, trying to think of an insult. “Well you…like boys love comics.”

“You love a boy.”

“You got me there.”

Kanna smiled, “Kozume seemed interesting. So take good care of him.” Kuroo took a seat on a bench near the entrance, motioning Kanna to join him. “Have you told your parents yet?” Kanna asked.

“I haven’t even told Bokuto yet.” Kuroo confessed. “And my family would freak.”

“I remember you saying they were more traditional.” Kanna hummed. “Still, you should tell them. Kozume deserves that.”

Kuroo leaned back and tried to find a star in the night sky; the light pollution made it near impossible though. “Why do you care so much?” He asked. “Don’t ex’s usually…not give relationship advice to the other?”

“Our situation feels a little different,” Kanna shrugged. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m still upset, but mostly because I’m afraid of dying alone. I still like you, Tetsu, so I want you to be happy.”

“You’re writing a boys love based on this aren’t you?”

“Oh yes, I have so many followers that need closure.”

_ _ _

Kuroo tossed his keys into the bowl while kicking his shoes off. He could hear the tv going; surprising as Kenma usually played games after work, rather than watch shows. He tiptoed the few meters into the living room, pulling his shirt and sweatshirt off in one go to throw onto the top of the couch. The lump on the couch moved slightly under the knit blanket his mother made.

“Are you feeling okay?” Kuroo cooed, rubbing the lump where he assumed Kenma’s shoulders were.  

Kenma groaned and wiggled under the blanket. Kuroo peeled back the blanket to uncover Kenma’s head. He was sweating, hair slightly damp and sticking to his forehead.

“Let me in too,” Kuroo said, already wiggling into the blanket, forcing Kenma to be the big spoon on the couch.

Kenma pressed his sweaty forehead into Kuroo’s shoulder blades, wrapping his arm around Kuroo’s waist. “I can’t see the tv.” He commented. His tone suggested he didn’t care all that much.

“You weren’t really watching anyway,” Kuroo retorted, already changing the channel. The sounds of volleyball game filled the small living space. Kenma closed his eyes to the familiar sound of shoes squeaking against gym floors. He guessed it was a replay of a match Kuroo’s old college team was playing, since he could hear the announcer mention Kuroo’s underclassman twice already.

Kuroo pulled Kenma’s hand up to press a light kiss to his palm. “What’s on your mind?” Kenma asked in a whisper. Kuroo’s shoulders were oddly tense.

Sighing, Kuroo asked, “Am I a rebound? Or…is this something?”

Kenma went silent. He’s wanted Kuroo for as long as he could remember. “Something…” He said slowly, “As in dating?”

“I meant what I said last night,” Kuroo said.

Kenma squeezed Kuroo’s waist tightly, pressing their bodies as close as possible. “I love you too,” He admitted. His heart ached, pleasantly for once, from saying it out loud.

Kuroo couldn’t wipe the sly grin from his face. “I’d say let’s screw to consummate this relationship but-“

“-absolutely not.” Kenma interrupted. His hips were sore, his feet hurt, his eyes were halfway to sleep, and, to top it off, his hole was swollen.

“Want to just make out to food documentaries?” Kuroo suggested. Kenma smiled into his back, squeezing his torso like it was Morse Code for _yes_. Kuroo thought to himself that he could get used to this; cuddling on the couch with Kenma – his boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up...Kuroo's family?!  
> Also smut. Because I can. 
> 
> I apologize for my tardiness by the way!   
> I so appreciated all the hit, kudos, and comments everyone left - it was huge in motivating me to actually try to write haha!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo still struggles to label his sexuality  
> Kenma struggles in general

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long delay!!! Also sorry for a meh chapter...I owe you guys something juicy next time~
> 
> Thank you all for the comments, hits, kudos, subscriptions and everything! I've been trying to reply to them lately, but I'm sorry if I miss any! Doing this on mobile is difficult...

* * *

Tora dropped a bag of flour in the back and it exploded all over the shelving and dry goods. Kenma knew he told Mei that Tora shouldn’t quit and they would be fine, but she really only gave him a week of no overlapping shifts before their availability forced them onto the same schedule cycles. It was awkward. It was painful almost. Worst of all, Tora was being too stubborn to communicate anything with Kenma, so mistakes were happening more often.

He clenched and unclenched his hands as he took a group of teenagers’ orders. They all wanted vanilla lattes with cats in the foam; easy enough for Kenma that he could continue to be angry and annoyed at Tora without ruining his quality of work. Unlike Tora, who accidentally brushed by Kenma in the back earlier this afternoon and then dropped a tray of ube scones.

This was worse than the spat they had when they first met, Kenma thought to himself. At least when they were dating, the sex made Tora’s clumsiness seem kind of cute.

He nodded politely, dropping off the drinks at the table before storming into the back room where Tora was sweeping up the mess he made. “You should clean what’s on the shelf off first before the floors.” Kenma said. “Otherwise you’ll have to sweep twice.”

“I know how to clean up flour.” Tora snapped back.

Kenma’s eye felt like it was going to twitch right out of his skull. Tora was kind of pig headed about things. It used to be cute. It wasn’t anymore. “Fine, do it your way and sweep twice.” Kenma snapped back.

Tora threw the broom to the floor and it clattered loudly. Fukunaga walked into the back and immediately backed out at the sight of their incoming argument. Kenma bitterly thought how lucky it was that he got to leave. “Why did you even tell Mei that I should keep working here?” Tora shouted.

“You needed this job too!” Kenma replied, his voice was raised but not yet a yell. “I didn’t want you to lose it over a breakup!”

“That’s bullshit, I said I’d quit and you didn’t take that. Why am I still here, Ken?”

“I just told you-“

“Bullshit! Just answer me!”

“I don’t know.”

Tora let out a snarl and took a few steps towards him, backing Kenma into the shelving. “Just answer me,” He said, his tone was low and commanding, and it set a curl to Kenma’s toes.

“I liked being friends!” He yelled. Kenma touched his cheeks, which were burning, and felt a tear escape. He chastised himself mentally for crying about something he decided long ago was stupid. “I liked having friends of my own that weren’t because of Kuroo… I liked hanging out with you, and Fukunaga…” He trailed off, angry at himself for turning so meek. He stared down at his beat-up sneakers.

Kenma wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but he really missed having friends at work. People he could joke around with from time to time that made the work go by faster. People who didn’t know him from high school as Kuroo’s shadow. People who liked playing games with him and eating snacks and hugging the cats.

Tora’s palm covered his eyes, but he felt him lean in and breath close to his cheek and ear. “Sorry, don’t look at me right now. I’m making a pretty ugly face,” Tora whispered. Kenma tugged at his cat-eared hoodie. “I need more time before that can happen, Ken. I miss you. I still…really want you.” Tora explained, breathy. Kenma felt his spine tingle at the last three words. “It’s hard when you look so…like you. All the time.”

Kenma nodded. He didn’t understand what Tora meant but he didn’t want to ask. His lip quivered slightly; aroused by the position they were in. By the idea of something wanting him so bad. That’s what he liked about Tora in the first place – he knew who he wanted and didn’t mind telling anyone.

He kept his eyes closed when Tora pulled away and didn’t open them until he said the swinging doors signal he was alone. He kind of wanted to cry.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Kuroo sat around a table in the library with his classmates. Kanna and him weren’t really talking though they left the other night on better terms. However, news of Kuroo drunkenly breaking up with her outside a night club was going around the entire department. He overheard two of his classmates whispering that he was secretly gay and Kanna confronted him at a gay club about it. Thus leading to a huge explosive argument outside and their inevitable demise. After turning down his classmate’s friend the other night, he was only solidifying that rumor.

The rumors were ruining his educational experience to be honest.

Especially when Kuroo wasn’t ready to tackle is growingly complicated sexual identity. Bokuto made it seem to simple. Last night while walking home, Bokuto called him and was practically a screech owl, talking about how he confessed with Keji and they will be together soon. He was itching to gossip with Kenma about it all. He also wanted to see Iwaizumi’s face when Akaashi breaks up with him because he secretly enjoys watching dramas.

Just not his own drama.

“Hey,” Ren said sitting down next to Kuroo. Ren was two years younger but managed to get into the program at the same time as Kuroo’s cohort. They were friendly, but didn’t have too much in common.

“Hey,” Kuroo nodded once before turning back to his laptop. He was struggling to write the last chapter of his thesis and didn’t really want another distraction.

“So,” Ren continued, even though Kuroo was doing his best to display body language that screamed, ‘nope’. “Some of the guys were talking…about you and Kanna…”

“Yes we broke up, no I’m not gay,” Kuroo said, typing and erasing the same sentence he’s been working on for the past 15 minutes.            

Ren gave him a look of doubt before shrugging. “Sure,” He said, letting it go. “Just know that it doesn’t matter to us, okay?”

Kuroo raised his shoulders, tensing. His eyes slide to Kanna who was typing, her reading glasses – like his own – were sliding down her nose. Kyoko was braiding her hair and, to what it looked like to Kuroo, lecturing her in hushed whispers. They both turned to look at him and he focused back on his own work.

“Kanna doesn’t seem that upset about it,” Ren commented, apparently wanting to continue their conversation anyway.

“Kanna is Kanna,” Kuroo replied. There wasn’t much meaning behind the phrase, but Ren nodded as if he understood and Kuroo was being philosophical. “Shouldn’t you be studying? I thought you were going to take the English exam next week?” Kuroo closed his laptop. There was no way he was going to get anything done now – he might as well give up and plan to go drinking with them like they inevitably would.

“Yeah, but it’ll be easy. I want to find a job in England or somewhere cool. Maybe work for a university there.” Ren grinned, giving a peace sign. “What about you?”

Kuroo didn’t have a plan. Honestly, he needed to pay back his parents for all they spent on his education, after school activities, the apartment and furniture, and the small allowance he guiltlessly spent on going out drinking with his cohort. He figured he would get a job at any lab in the area that needed another researcher and then live with Kenma in a too-small apartment in Tokyo forever.

Part of him knew he needed to tell his mom. It didn’t seem right to keep something this big from her. The larger part of him, however, wanted to avoid the topic all together and let his family conclude naturally when he’s old and still sharing a one bedroom with Kenma. Shit, now he just wanted to go home and watch Kenma beat the next level in his game.

“Probably work around here.” He finally answered. Kuroo packed up his things, standing and throwing his bad over his shoulder. “I’m going to head home.”

“Not coming out with us tonight?”

“I don’t feel up to it,” He replied, glancing at Kanna and Kyoko. Kyoko was bouncing up and down in her chair, reading whatever Kanna was writing over her shoulder. It was starting to give him a sick feeling in his gut. “Don’t drink too much tonight.” He jokingly warned.

Ren grinned, giving another peace sign. “My English is better when I drink.”

“Brat,” Kuroo smirked, chuckling under his breath. He glanced once again at Kanna before heading out. Suddenly he didn’t think she was working on her thesis at all right now.

The air was brisk. He hoped Kenma had the sliding door to their balcony closed but he doubted it. Kenma liked fresh autumn air and curling up under all their blankets while he gamed. He didn’t get the purpose of being cold just to be warmed up. He’d rather their apartment stayed an even 22 degrees Celsius.

Passing by the community gym reminded him of Bokuto. The only last talked yesterday but he never ended up sharing his own love life success. At the time, he wasn’t even sure it was a success. A piece of Kuroo still felt like the rug was about to be pulled from under him. He dialed quickly as he walked to the train station. Bokuto answered immediately.

“Hey, Bo.”

“Hey, hey, hey!” Bokuto’s booming voice was loud even with the phone held slightly away from his ear. Strangers on the street glared at Kuroo as they passed. “What’s up, my Kubro?”

Kuroo really liked how Bokuto never grew out of his greeting. “It’s no big deal, but I wanted to tell you that Kenma and I are together.” His mouth was quirking into a smirk as he tried to keep his tone nonchalant. Bokuto screamed on the other end and he had to hold the phone away from his ear again, laughing.

“Bro!” Bokuto shouted. “Of course that’s a big deal! When did this happen? Did you go on a first date yet? We should double date sometime! Are you out yet? How did Kenma’s mom react?”

Kuroo chuckled, about to answer when his mind finally caught up and he choked on his own spit. “Out?” He whispered, looking around him on the street. It was dark, but the nightlife was booming enough that he didn’t want to be overheard by strangers on their way to the station. “What do you mean?”

Bokuto’s response sounded less energetic and equal parts confused. “What do you mean, what do I mean? I’m asking if I’m the first people, besides Kenma obviously, that you’d told you’re bi or something to…” He trailed off.

Kuroo’s stomach felt tight, like he swallowed a rubber band and it was wrapped around his organs. “I’m not,” He slowly replied, “gay. Or anything. I’m with Kenma not…with guys in general.” He could feel anger rising in his throat and tried to swallow it.

Bokuto was silent, a sign that was never good. “Yeah, that’s cool, bro. I’m really happy for you,” He finally said. Then added, “Sorry for making it seem like you needed to pick a label or something.”

“Right, it’s cool, bro.” Kuroo laughed it off but the sound was fake. He was met with silence on the phone and didn’t have it in him to break it.

“We should totally double date though!” Bokuto piped up, finally. “I mean, after Akaashi and Iwaizumi break up…officially.”

Kuroo smiled, sincerely this time. “Yeah, that’d be cool, Bo. We could make them mini golf or something cutesy like that.” He laughed at the idea of Kenma mini golfing and trying not to make his ‘ick’ face the entire time. Maybe an escape room would be more fun. Kenma loves puzzle games that required a lot of thought. “When is Akaashi doing it?” He asked.

Bokuto hummed, “Not sure. He said this week though so…” He sounded unsure and sad.

“So next weekend,” Kuroo promised, “we’ll double date.” Bokuto seemed to cheer up after that, which made Kuroo feel less guilty about hanging up to get on the train.

He texted Kenma on the train.

Kuro: Did you eat dinner?

Kitten: Not yet.

Kuro: Should I bring something home? What are you in the mood for?

Kitten: I’m not at home.

Kuroo looked around the train, as if one of these strangers would join him in a look of surprise and exasperation.

Kuro: Where are you???

Kenma didn’t answer until Kuroo was already at their stop. He stepped off the train and moved to the side of the platform. Part of him didn’t want to leave the station until he knew where Kenma was. The other part was worried he looked suspicious with his backpack and leather jacket and unkept hair.

Kenma replied after a few, agonizingly long, minutes.

Kitten: Manga café at X and YYZ.

Kuroo groaned, knowing this meant he needed to get back on the train and head the other way at least one stop.

. . . . . . . 

Kenma was tucked into a private gaming room when Kuroo got there, hunched over and playing. He closed the door and dropped his bag to the floor. “Why are you gaming here and not home?” He asked, flinging his body against Kenma’s, throwing off his game.

“I needed the guide and don’t want to buy it.”

“I thought game guides were for cheats and losers?”

“Doesn’t count if you are beating the game for the 5th time but want to make sure you find all the hidden items.”

Kuroo pulled back, studying Kenma’s profile. “Is everything okay?” He asked. Kenma was acting off. To any outsider, they might say that Kenma was being his usual self, but Kuroo knew. There was an edge to his voice and his eyes looked puffy.

Kenma paused to save before tossing the controller to the side. He practically leaped, ungracefully, into Kuroo’s arms to kiss him. Arms wrapped around his neck, Kuroo was pulled down to deepen their kiss. Kenma moaned softly against his lips, opening his mouth to lick into Kuroo’s and suck at his tongue.

Kuroo’s fingers pressed gently against Kenma’s chest, pushing them apart. “What’s wrong?” Kuroo whispered, brushing hair behind Kenma’s ear.

Kenma’s eyes looked glossy but he only shook his head. “I just love you,” He replied, pulling Kuroo back down. He sucked on Kuroo’s bottom lip, noses bumping.

Wrapping his arms around Kenma’s back, Kuroo lowered them to the floor. Kenma’s hands traveled down his chest to his jeans, fumbling to unbutton them. “We’re at a manga café,” Kuroo warned, pulling his hips away.

He gazed down at Kenma. His hair was spread out around him like a lions mane. His chest rose and fell quickly, and his cheeks were flush. Golden eyes fluttered from being examined. “We won’t go all the way,” Kenma offered; he figured it was a fair compromise.

“Fucking hell,” Kuroo smirked, kissing along Kenma’s jawline with renewed energy. “I love you, kitten.” Kuroo also loved how naturally those words fell out of his mouth. He wanted to say it every second of every day to catch up on all the times he should have.

Kenma nodded, determined to concur Kuroo’s jeans.

They wiggled out of their pants quickly and Kenma settled between Kuroo’s thighs. “Kenma,” Kuroo groaned as quietly as he could. Golden eyes glanced at him before turned back at the task in Kenma’s hands.

Kenma licked the tip, clearing the precum building up away, before relaxing his throat and taking Kuroo as far in as he could. Kuroo’s feet kicked and he sat up farther, holding onto Kenma’s hair. Kenma took the low moan vibrating from Kuroo’s chest as a sign of approval and continued to bob his head up and down, hollowing his cheeks.

Kuroo’s thighs trembled under Kenma’s hands. He bent over Kenma’s body – accidently almost choking Kenma in the process- and nudged his finger between round cheeks to circle his hole. Kenma pulled up, mouth releasing from Kuroo’s cock with a popping sound. “Not all the way,” He reminded.

“Just touching,” Kuroo’s sly smile down at him was anything but trustworthy but Kenma wasn’t complaining.

Kenma shuddered when Kuroo wet his fingers with spit and resumed prodding at his exit/entrance. He struggled to focus when Kuroo pushed in and immediately found his prostate. Saliva pooled in his mouth, but he doubted it was because of the penis in his mouth and entirely because of the waves of pleasure Kuroo was sending through his body.

Two fingers and Kenma was moaning against’ Kuroo’s cock. Kuroo kept pulled away to spit into his hands and just when Kenma caught his breath, he was penetrated again. When Kuroo scissored his digits, Kenma whimpered. He was close, so close.

Kuroo’s other hand wiggled under Kenma’s stomach, gently massaging his erection. Kenma moaned out, half in protest, before sucking hard to send Kuroo over the edge he was also teetering on. He ground down into Kuroo’s hand with vigor.

Kenma came first, spurting into Kuroo’s waiting palm and thrusting his hips back into Kuroo’s hand. He pushed himself all the way down, nose to Kuroo’s belly button and hummed. Kuroo climaxed, hips forced to stay still under Kenma’s hands. Hot, sticky cum gushed down Kenma’s throat and he struggled to swallow it as he sat up. He choked a little and a drop of cum dribbled out his nose. Kenma’s face scrunched into disgust as he wiped his face clean.

Kuroo wiped his hands on a tissue and let out an obnoxious laugh. “Fuck,” He smirked, still chuckling. “I can’t believe we did that.”

Kenma wiggled back into his jeans, running the back of his hand over his mouth to make sure it was dry. His throat and jaw were sore, but he felt like his mind finally stopped running away from him. “People probably do this all the time in places like this,” He commented.

Kuroo laid on the floor, arms and legs out to resemble some half-naked starfish.

“Kenma,” Kuroo said, his tone was serious. “We should tell our families.”

Kenma wrinkled his nose. “That we got each other off in a manga café? No way.”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

Kenma huffed, tossing Kuroo’s underwear and jeans at him. “Telling mine is one thing…but…”

“I want this to work,” Kuroo explained. “I think that means we need to do this the right way. We’ve been going in the wrong order and shouldn’t we at least catch up the non-sex part of our relationship?”

“Kuro,” Kenma sighed, rubbing his forehead. His skin felt like it was crawling off. A stark contrast from how he was feeling moments ago. “Mine know how I am. But yours…they would find it not…normal. Don’t hurt them just because you feel like you have to.”

As much as Kenma wanted to say for sure Kuroo’s family would welcome them with open arms, he needed to be realistic. The Kuroo’s were traditional. Tolerant when it wasn’t something that directly impacted their families, but traditional in their own home. When Kuroo’s mom found out that Kenma was gay, she was reluctant to let Kuroo stay over with him so often. He felt like he had to prove to her that he was still the same kid that use to cry when her apple pies were all eaten up. It took a whole year before she started hugging him again. He knew it was probably troubling for them to allow Kuroo to live with him like they were.

Kuroo nodded, standing to button his jeans. “Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it together though.”

Kenma pursed his lips and didn’t reply.

“Let’s pick up Korean food on the way back.” Kuroo said, brushing Kenma’s hair smooth with his fingers. The change of subject immediately cleared the thick between them. “From that place near home because that auntie always gives us extra banchan.”

Kenma returned the key and trailed behind Kuroo’s fast pace. His fingers felt fuzzy and he kind of wished Kuroo was okay with holding hands.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo just wants his mother to accept and love him for once. She just wants her world to be painted with pastels and lace. Kenma just wants to be able to hold hands.

Kuroo’s family was traditional, although every traditional family had its secrets. When he was a kid, his parents fought all the time and ended up separating. He went with his father to live in Tokyo with his grandparents. His mother, hypocritically, started a new family in the countryside. Her previous marriage was the only blip in her otherwise perfect life. Kuroo’s father never remarried, saying dating at such an old age was pitiful.

Kuroo talked to his mother on the phone at least once a month. On the outside, she was perfect. Kind, caring, always the right amount of interest in his studies and social life. He visited her as often as she was willing. When he was little, he’d bring Kenma back to her new house because it scared him. Taking the train all the way there, sitting and eating dinner with a man and a baby he barely knows; Kenma had been his safety blanket. Not all the motherly hugs in the world was as effective as Kenma’s hand gripping his sleeve.

He still remembers the day his mother found out that Kenma was gay. She asked him not to bring Kenma around for the weekend and had to be assured by both his father and Kenma’s mother. That weekend sucked. They were used to being able to close the bedroom door to avoid Avie’s, his half-sister, prying into what game they were playing. That weekend they weren’t allowed to go up to the bedroom to play at all.

Yori was a feminine woman who enjoyed soft details and making sure appearances were kept. It was dreadful enough to admit to her new neighbors that the bed-headed child who came for a weekend once a month was from a prior marriage. Then, Kuroo had to bring more abnormality into her home. There wasn’t enough bear shaped cookies and lace curtains to make up for the dismay she faced every time she peeked into the yard and saw them hunched over a Gameboy.

Kuroo wanted nothing more than to make his mother see him. He wanted to ensure her that even though he was from some shameful time in her life, that he was still worthy of attention. So, he did whatever he could to be a handsome, strong, and successful man.

Kuroo’s hands shook as he dialed the phone.

“Tekkun! How are you?” His mother rang into his ear like a windchime. Her voice was high pitched and sweet in the way that made you think of oozing syrup down a stack of pancakes on Sunday mornings.

“Hey, ma,” Kuroo cleared his throat. “I was wondering if you were busy. Maybe we could get some lunch together and catch up?”

There was a long pause and made Kuroo’s gut sink. He glanced at Kenma, napping on the couch with his psp still on the pause screen. They had the day off, and Kuroo was going to spend it working on his thesis but lazing around with Kenma was better. He squeezed Kenma’s foot and it somehow lowered his anxiety that was building in his chest. Kenma’s round cheeks looked so soft while he slept.

“Well, Avie and I were thinking about taking the train in to do some shopping. You know, they are having a dance at her school and she really needs a new dress.” Yori explained to her son. “Want to meet for coffee or dinner?”

Kuroo felt like he might throw up and it was almost funny how his mother couldn’t even tell. “Yeah, just message me where and when.”

“It’s good to hear from you, Tekkun,” She said as a farewell.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Akaashi knew that he needed to end things with Iwaizumi. It was just near impossible when they hadn’t had a moment alone this week. Hajime apologized sweetly for Oikawa taking up so much of his time and Akaashi waved it off. He knew what it was like to want to catch up with a close friend. Still, it was hard to break up with someone properly if they were never around.

He twisted the cloth napkin as he waited for Iwaizumi to meet him. The restaurant he picked was nice enough that they could expect a quiet conversation together, but casual enough that it wasn’t typical romantic dinner date setting. The last thing he wanted was to break up over fine wines and candles but having this conversation over beer and fried foods also felt wrong.

“Sorry for being late,” Hajime said, nodding at Akaashi as he sat.

“It’s fine,” Akaashi assured him, locking eyes with the waiter who made their way towards the table. “Is your usual whiskey fine, or would you like a different drink tonight?”

“My usual is fine.”

Akaashi ordered two whiskies on the rocks. The waiter gave a polite nod and left them to review the menu in peace. “Do you want to try an appetizer? I heard the crostini were good,” He began, “Or maybe those would taste odd with whiskey.”

He didn’t know how to break up with someone when the relationship itself was fine. He wasn’t Kuroo, he didn’t get drunk to find the courage to end things. He wasn’t Kenma, who silently faded away until his disinterest was called out. He definitely wasn’t Bokuto, who wrote short letters and then ran away after shoving it into a mail slot.

Iwaizumi Hajime was, on all accounts, perfect. He checked every box on Akaashi’s wants in a relationship. He was handsome, employed, could drive a car, well-traveled, athletic, and firm in how he spoke. Still, beyond the thrill of having sex with someone who incredibly built, there was no emotional spark between them. Akaashi could count on one hand the number of deep and personal conversations they shared, and they were all set while he was basked in the afterglow of orgasm.

“Whatever you would like,” Iwaizumi replied smoothly. Their drinks arrived and Akaashi placed an order. Iwaizumi thumbed his hand from under the table, forcing Akashi to bend forward in his seat.

“How was your visit with Oikawa?” Akaashi asked, pulling his hand free and pretending it was so he could adjust the napkin on his thigh.

Iwaizumi’s mouth twitched on one side. “Well, he’s the same as always,” He replied, chuckling to himself like there was some inside joke. “He’s an idiot, but he’s good at what he does. I think he had a hard time adjusting by himself, but he seems to be happy enough.”

When Akaashi matched with Iwaizumi on Grindr, he didn’t question why they both were online dating. It was clear that Iwaizumi seemed to be getting over his own problems just like Akaashi was distracting himself from lusting after his best friend. He wouldn’t have ever dreamed that Bokuto could feel a fraction of what he felt.

“Have you ever thought about moving there with Oikawa?” Akaashi asked.

Iwaizumi frowned, “No, I can’t see myself living outside of Japan. I’m not that adventurous.”

Akaashi wondered if it was a sign that Iwaizumi never mentioned him as reason enough not to move. “No, I suppose not,” He noted. Iwaizumi wasn’t adventurous. He was safe, successful, but calculated in his moves. Still, Akaashi noticed something when Oikawa was around. “You seem open to spontaneity when you are with him though.”

“Why are you bringing up Oikawa so much?”

The waiter returned with the crostini before Akaashi could reply. They placed an order for a steak to share and a large salad. He had heard this was one of the best places to eat without being outrageously expensive, but the prices still made him gag on his whiskey. His wallet ached.

They sat in mostly silence until the food arrived. Akaashi played with the napkin in his lap, twisting it until it was barely usable before trying to smooth it flat again. Iwaizumi noticed but didn’t comment on the odd tension between them.

The steak was tender but tasted fatty in his mouth. Akaashi tried to shallow the piece in his mouth gracefully. Iwaizumi sighed heavily and set his fork down on the plate. “What’s wrong, Keji? You look like you might be sick,” He asked.

“I am in love with Koutaro.” Akaashi hesitantly said, as calmly as his cracking voice allowed.

Iwaizumi leaned forward, brushing a strand of hair back into place on Akaashi’s head. “Yes, I’m aware.” He replied. Iwaizumi cut off another bite of steak and stuck it into his mouth.

“You are…aware?”

“Isn’t that why you were on that app in the first place?” He questioned. Iwaizumi gave him a ‘of course, the grass is green’ kind of face.

There was a long silent pause before Akaashi could try again. “Hajime, I…”

“Oh,” Iwaizumi finally noticed the situation they were in. “Oh…why are we out to dinner, Keji? Seriously, did you think I’d be the type to make a scene?”

“No!” Akaashi hurriedly explained, “I just wanted to avoid being…alone?”

Iwaizumi signed and leaned back in his chair. He looked exasperated. “So, I take it we will not be having hot breakup sex?”

Akaashi pursed his lips. Breakup sex was a huge reason to break up in public and not in his living room. Even though breakup sex was the only consolation to...well…breaking up, Akaashi told himself it’d be dumb to start his relationship with Bokuto after sweating under Iwaizumi’s thick torso.

Iwaizumi chuckled, “Too bad. I’m told my angry sex is the best sex I give.” He waved his fork back and forth, teasing and scolding.

Akaashi, frustrated, stabbed a piece of lettuce and shoved it in his mouth.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Yori called Kuroo in the late afternoon to confirm a place to have dinner together. Avie and her spent the afternoon shopping for a new dress and shoes for her dance. He started to feel sick about it. He ended up begging Kenma to come to dinner. He had to promise a whole apple pie the next time he walked by the bakery by the end of their negotiations.

Kenma fidgeted with his cardigan that he threw on last minute. It didn’t really go with the artsy game shirt he pulled on, but at least he looked a little more dressed up. He glanced sideways at Kuroo. His broad shoulders were too wide for the sweater he was wearing over his button up. It was all slightly irritating. Kuroo never tried even a fraction as hard when it was Kenma’s mother visiting. Then again, Kenma thought to himself, maybe that was because Kuroo was less comfortable with his own mother.

Fingers hesitated to pull open the restaurant door.

“Kuro?” Kenma nearly whispered. He tugged at Kuroo’s sleeve once. “Seriously, we don’t have to tell her. I don’t want you to feel like you have to…come out or something.” It was mostly the truth. He honestly didn’t care if Kuroo ever told his mother. He did care about being openly together though. Maybe that was too much to ask. To not be hiding but not tell anyone. They didn’t have to make a scene about it, but he would like to hold hands once or twice…at least if it was dark outside enough.

Kuroo didn’t respond but gave Kenma a quick nod before pulling the door open.

Yori was sitting over in a corner, already sipping on an iced tea. Her hair was dyed a light brown and was curled around her shoulders. Kenma always noticed how little Kuroo and his mother looked alike. Besides their slim noses and high cheekbones, Kuroo looked much closer to his father than his mother. Kuroo, drunk at the time, once joked that maybe it was why his mother didn’t care for him being around. That he reminded her of a failed marriage and a mess she never sorted away.

Avie ran into Kenma’s arm as soon as they got close. She had taken a liking to him once she reached middle school and Kenma just couldn’t understand why. She was twelve now and almost an exact replica of her mother.

Kuroo seemed to relax by the time they started eating. Kenma was almost certain that he decided against telling his mother. Until Yori asked the one question every mother asks.

“So, are you dating anyone? You’re getting older now, Tekkun. You should be settling down before you are working all the time.” She smiled at him from across the table.

And just like that, Kuroo’s shoulders were stiff and his face drained. Kenma busied himself by listening to Avie talk about the newest photo app on her phone. His ears burned trying to half listen in case Kuroo told his mother. Or didn’t. He didn’t know which would make him more nervous.

“I’m dating Kenma.”

Avie’s phone dropped to the table as she stared at her half-brother, mouth open. Kenma’s heart was beating out of his chest and he knew Kuroo’s was too.

“That’s not very funny, Tetsurou.” His mother chided him.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I’m not joking. I’m in love with Kenma. We’re together.” Kuroo felt a rush of stress and fear leave his lungs. Though the spot quickly filled with anxiety and sadness as he looked at his mother’s face.

Yori sniffled slightly, a worrying look flooded her usually posed and happy face. Kuroo could almost hear the _oh no_ that ran through her head. Tears started to pool in her eyes and she opened her mouth to say something. “Is this my fault?” She whimpered, clutching the napkin in her lap.

“Mom, I…”

Yori shook her head, crying freely now. Fat tears rolled down her thin cheeks. “This is all my fault. I set a bad example for you when you were little. I let Kenma sleep over. I left you with your father and he didn’t teach you.”

“No! Mom,” Kuroo nearly shouted. “That’s not it!”

Yori wasn’t listening now. Kenma jumped in his chair when she turned to him. Her eyes were cold, and he could see the disgust behind her hazel irises. The warm, kind eyes that use to make apple pies when he was in elementary school were gone. He felt sick.

“Kenma, please, why Tekkun? Don’t you think I’ve done enough for you? Please?  You can’t have him forever. He’s not like you. He’s normal. A good boy. Why did you do this to my baby? Why did you do this to me? Do you hate me?”

Kenma’s lips parted to apologize without thinking.

Kuroo’s chair fell backwards and clanked to the ground loudly – shocking everyone’s conversations to a halt. “We’re leaving.” He snapped, grabbing Kenma’s forearm and yanking him to his feet. His mother called out to him, but her cries fell on deaf ears. He dragged Kenma out of the restaurant and halfway down the block towards the train station before letting go.

His shoulders were still tense as he walked ahead of Kenma. Kenma reached out to yank on Kuroo’s sleeve but he pulled away and shoved his hands in his pockets. He followed behind silently, anxiety building in his chest with each step he took.

Kuroo’s lungs felt like they were being squeezed closed. He simultaneously wanted to turn around to hug Kenma until they both could finally breathe and run as far away as he could. He rubbed his chest as if it would relieve the pressure building. He was going to cry. He at least wanted to be home before then.

“Kuro?”

He didn’t want to open his mouth, just in case all that came out was a desperate wail.

“Kuro.” Kenma said again, his voice wobbled but he was louder. “I-“

“Don’t, Kenma.” He was surprised his voice came out so steady.

“I just…I’m sor-“

“I said don’t.” Kuroo snapped. He took his hands out of his pockets and slowed his steps though. Kenma chewed his bottom lip as he reached out and grabbed hold of Kuroo’s sleeve. It wasn’t holding hands, but anything less than this and Kenma wasn’t sure they’d make it home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Sorry for the sadness! And such a late update...


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo, we are all sick of your shit. But we also understand. You'll do better, bae.

Akaashi studied his reflection carefully in Bokuto’s messy bathroom. He stretched the skin under his right eye. He was a little puffy from lack of sleep. It had been four days since he broke up with Iwaizumi and Bokuto and him decided it was time for a date. Last night he had been swirling with excitement, guilt, pure glee, and intense nervousness for so long he only got four hours of sleep _maybe_.

He was exhausted.

They spent the evening at the same ramen place they always ate at. Then they had a drink at a karaoke bar where Bokuto belted out a song from some anime that Akaashi still hasn’t watched. Afterwards they walked back to their building in the chilly air. Honestly, he thought it was the perfect date.

But know he’s fretting like an idiot in his boyfriend’s bathroom over the puffiness of his eyes and how this is the first time he’s ever going to have sex with Koutaro Bokuto. What if it’s terrible? What if Kou realizes he’s not into men and is totally disgusted by his body? What if this ruins their friendship forever and they can’t ever put it back?

“Keji?” Kou’s voice called out softly through the door.

Akaashi let go of the skin below his eye and his gaze slid over the door. “I’ll be right out.” He affirmed.

“You don’t have to, you know?” Koutaro offered. “I mean, you should come out of the bathroom, but we don’t have to have sex…if you aren’t ready. I’m okay waiting.”

Akaashi’s mouth curved into a waxy smile. He knew just how to make Akaashi’s heart melt. Koutaro Bokuto was a sweet, kind, handsome, sexy man.

“Koutaro,” Akaashi’s voice was like a chirp. “I’ll be right out.” He listened to Bokuto shuffle away from the door and mentally gave himself a pep-talk.

Bokuto sat at the edge of his bed and placed his hands between his knees. He was nervous. This was his first time with any man. He didn’t want to mess up with the only man he’s ever loved. He shut his eyes tightly; maybe if he went over it all in his head like a game play…

“Koutaro,” Akaashi said, sounding like an angel.

Bokuto opened his eyes and they immediately bugged out of his head. His mouth ran dry as Akaashi played with the hem of his volleyball jersey from college. His eyes wandered lower and locked in on the too-tight, thigh-high knee pads. No underwear or shorts, just the jersey top and knee pads. The gods have blessed him when they made Keji Akaashi.

Bokuto sent a silent prayer of thanks and grinned. “Keji, you are seriously the best.”

“Kenma suggested this. Maybe you can explain afterwards?” Akaashi raised his eyebrow.

Bokuto rubbed his hands together, quietly mumbling, “Thank you, Kenma~”

“Um, should I?” Akaashi shifted his weight from leg to leg, pointing at the bed.

Scooting over, Bokuto patted the bed. They sat in silence awkwardly. The wall of their entire childhood worth of friendship sat like bricks between them. A wall of warning that once it comes down, they can’t easily stack it back up like before.

“I’ve thought about this a lot,” Bokuto admitted, “but now I feel like my body is stuck.”

“Me too,” Akaashi let out a chuckle. And just like that, the wall started to crumble.

He wrapped his arms around Bokuto’s broad shoulders and leaned in, their breaths quickened with excitement between them. Akaashi was a sucker for thick arms. His fingers traced the muscles, gripping tighter to push Bokuto onto his back. Their lips met, finally, when Bokuto’s head hit the mattress.

Starting slow, Akaashi pulled his bottom lip in to suck it gently. Bokuto’s arms tightened around him as he shifted to straddle his hips. Fingers danced under the jersey to run up and down his spine, teasing. The twitch against his thigh made him let out a sigh of relief.  Akaashi pulled away and let out a giggle.

“What’s funny?”

“I’m just glad you got hard,” Akaashi choked out. His eyes were tearing up, but he was smiling. Bokuto pouted, using his thumb to wipe a tear away from Akaashi’s cheek.

“Of course, I’m hard,” Bokuto announced proudly, “The person I love is on top of me and kissing me!” His fingers wiggled under Akaashi’s jersey but didn’t remove it. “And you aren’t wearing pants, so that’s a huge bonus.”

Akaashi sat back up, holding onto his stomach with laughter. “I love you Koutaro,” He said, when the fit of giggles finally passed.

Bokuto raised an eyebrow. “I think we’re doing this wrong if I’m just making you laugh, Keji.”

Shaking his head, he replied, “it’s perfect.” Akaashi leaned down to kiss down Koutaro’s neck, the cock against his thigh was twitching again.

Koutaro panted as Keji sucked near his adams apple. The jersey material was driving him mad as Akaashi rocked their hips slowly. When Keji pulled away to grind their hips together faster, Koutaro got the best view ever. Keji, eyes lowered and panting, was on top of him, half naked, and in his jersey. The sultry look he received nearly made him blow his load already.

“Keji, I won’t last if you keep looking like this.”

Akaashi swung his leg over and moved to rest on the knee pads, on all fours. He grabbed the bottle of lube they placed near the pillows beforehand and popped the cap. Bokuto felt all his blood leave his head as Akaashi drenched his fingers and looked back at him.

One finger entered, and he lost his breath.

Two fingers and Keji was quivering over his hand, and Koutaro forgot his own name.

Three fingers and he was pretty sure he was salivating.

“Koutaro,” Keji moaned. His eyes, of fuck, his eyes, Koutaro thought to himself. They were the most beautiful, erotic things he’s ever seen. Keji leaned back on his arm, leg propped up and fingers stretching his hole open. It was the best invitation Koutaro had ever received.

Mouth still open in awe, Bokuto shifted over to enter Akaashi smoothly. He lined himself up and shifted his eyes up to meet Akaashi’s. Akaashi nodded, a smile on his lips. Bokuto pushed in and Akaashi swore he saw bricks fall and crumble around them.

“Keji,” Koutaro groaned, one hand was wrapped around Keji’s back and the other help his leg up over Koutaro’s forearm. “This feels amazing, I’m not going to last.”

Keji leaned back against the strong hand between his shoulder blades. He felt so full. He was pretty sure his spine was melting out of his body. Koutaro shifted and his cock slide, sending waves of bliss through Keji’s body. “I’m not going to last either,” He replied.

Intense golden eyes with thick black rims on the iris stared at him like he was prey. He wanted to be eaten.

_ _ _ _

Kenma pulled his phone under the covers with him to turn off his alarm. It was so cold outside already and the thick blankets on his bed weren’t doing anything to keep him warm. He could hear Kuroo’s soft snores from his own bed across the room.

It had been a week since Kuroo told his mother.

They hadn’t slept together since.

It was confusing; Kuroo was the type to push for sex to feel better. It was the epitome of their relationship all through college. Kuroo was upset, Kenma was there. Now Kuroo was depressed and avoided his touch. The sick part of him told Kenma that he deserved this. It also whispered terrible fears in his ears when Kuroo was at the library late at night the past three days. _What if he found someone else? What if he wants to go back to being ‘normal’ and is afraid to tell me?_

Kenma’s nose wrinkled up. His toes curled against the cold tile of their small kitchen. He needed coffee before he was going to deal with any of these thoughts. He pulled on the cat eared hoodie as he waited for the water to boil, stifling a yawn.

The floorboards groaned, startling Kenma into a small hop. Kuroo rubbed his eyes, stumbling into the kitchen to lean against the counter. Kenma’s eyes dropped to the floor to avoid making accidental eye contact with one of Kuroo’s nipples.

“Make me a cup too.”

Kenma turned around and busied himself. “What are you doing up?” He asked, grabbing a mug from the cabinet.

“I want to get to the library before it gets busy and my good table is taken.”

Kenma pressed his lips together firmly. Since when did the library get so busy that Kuroo needed to be up at 6am? “How’s your thesis coming along?” He added sugar to Kuroo’s mug. Kuroo remained silent, eyes closed as he leaned against his palm. Kenma set the mug noisily against the counter, staring at Kuroo’s eyes for when they opened.

Kuroo gave him a sleepy smirk. “Thanks, Kitten.” The way his mouth formed over the sounds was off. Like the sounds hit Kenma’s ear were muted or like Kuroo’s lips didn’t line up properly – like bad audio sync.

Kenma’s hands were shaking as he took a sip from his own mug. They were so close, just inches apart with only the slab of counter top to separate their bodies. Yet Kenma felt like his body was floating miles away watching Kuroo from a distance. His fingers inches over the barrier, traveling miles to reach its destination, to touch Kuroo’s bare forearm.

The sleepy smirk was gone in an instant as Kuroo pulled his arm back, trying to make the jerky movement seem natural. He looked tried. And pained.

Letting out a sigh, Kenma shook his head. “We need to talk.” He finally managed to say.

Kuroo grimaced but remained silent.

Kenma lowered his eyes back to the floor. He needed to sweep and mop. Having such a small kitchen with tile was inconvenient. It was so small, it got looked over when they divvied up their usual chores. It’s funny how a small space could hold so much filth when left unattended.

“I think we should take a week or so,” Kenma said. He kept going over all the scenarios and each one ended with heartache. This path at least had a chance for reconciliation. “You need time to think, so take that time and really think about what we should be. I’ll understand if you want to go back…not this.”

“Hey, I don’t…”

“You don’t know,” Kenma interrupted. “Don’t make the decision without thinking about this. Seriously, Kuro.” He looked up finally. Kuroo looked sick again. He wondered if he looked the same. “This is your future, don’t throw it away just because I’m comfortable.”

Kuroo stared down into his mug of coffee intently as Kenma grabbed another jacket from their front closet. He was slightly bitter that he was seriously going to let him leave without saying goodbye. Kenma scrunched up his nose as he poured his barely consumed coffee down the drain. He was going to be early for work anyway, so he might as well make a better drink when he got there.

He gave Kuroo one last glance before leaving. All the way to the train station, Kenma fought back angry tears. He wasn’t sure who he was upset with the most. Himself, for suggesting a time out and then snapping when Kuroo tried to argue, or Kuroo for giving up so easily.

_ _ _

Kenma’s morning was a lot better after a triple caramel latte. Getting to work early meant he had time to relax with his beverage before tending to the cats. Boss was getting into fights with a younger kitten who was new to the café. Kenma didn’t think it would be long before the kitten was adopted though, so he let Boss establish his dominance in the meantime.

He hoped someone would come and adopt Boss. Leo, the other fat, tom cat, seemed to have caught the eye of an elderly couple who stopped in on Tuesdays. Boss rarely caught anyone’s attention. He enjoyed sleeping, eating, and bullying other cats into moving from his favorite spots near the window. While Kenma loved scratching under the old, fat cat’s chin every shift, he didn’t want to see Boss live and die here.

Hoisting the fat tabby up into his arms, Kenma breathed into the fur. He could feel his entire body untense finally.

“Do you usually sniff the cats?”

Kenma looked up at Tora’s grin. They weren’t 100%, but they were okay lately. Two days ago, Tora started teasing Kenma again at work. Fukunaga even joined in a few times too. It wasn’t like before, but Kenma was happy to feel like his friends were back.

“Checking if they have colds.” He replied.

“Colds?” Tora’s brow quirked. “You can smell colds?”

“Yeah, the season is changing, so it’s important to smell them and see if they are getting a cold.” Kenma kept a straight face.

Tora scooped up a Siamese mix and inhaled deeply into her fur. Piggy wiggled around in his arms defiantly. “What do colds smell like?” He asked, sniffing again.

“Like a sucker.”

“A sucker?” Tora echoed, confused, before the light clicked on above his head. He dropped Piggy, who darted for the cat tower’s safety. “Hey!” He let out a hardy laugh. “I didn’t know you could joke like that.”

“Only when it’s fun,” Kenma replied, cooing into Boss’s chubby face.

“You really like Boss, eh?” Tora noted.

Kenma let Boss wiggle free. “I wish he had a family,” He explained. “He deserves an extra good family.”

Tora leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. “Well, maybe when your boyfriend graduates and gets a fancy-man’s job, you can move to a place where you can have him.” His grin was cheeky and knowing.

Kenma’s eyes slide away, guilt creeping up his spine. “Yeah.” He mumbled.

Tora shrugged, saying, “I had a feeling you were with him.”

“I guess,” Kenma muttered, mostly under his breath.

He started long and hard at Kenma’s bent over form. His skin looked washed out the past few days, like someone came and rubbed the sun out of his skin. Still, there was something otherworldly about Kenma in Tora’s eyes. The way his long fingers wrapped around cups or how he’d puff out his cheeks when he was concentrating. He gritted his jaw; choosing not to ask Kenma about the lack of life in his eyes lately.

. . .

On Kenma’s break, he thought about calling Akaashi. He didn’t really want to crash at his place when Akaashi was just getting into a relationship and Kenma was waiting to hear if his was ending before it barely started. His fingers hovered over the next name he had as an option.

Hinata Shouyou picked up on the second ring with enthusiasm. “Kenma! You never call! Are you okay?” He practically screamed into the phone.

Kenma winced and pulled the phone from his ear slightly. “Shouyou. I’m fine. How are you?”

“I’m amazing! Kenma! Are you sure you are fine? You seriously never call me.” Hinata’s voice softened.

Kenma couldn’t stop himself from bristling as he replied, “I call…sometimes.” Maybe calling on birthdays didn’t count. It wasn’t like they never talked on the phone; Kenma just preferred being the callee, not the caller. “I’m really…fine. I just miss you.” Hinata hummed thoughtfully on the other end. Sighing, Kenma admitted, “Actually, I could use a place to stay for a night or two, and my friend.”

_ _ _

Kuroo tossed his bag down as soon as he got home. He spent all morning and afternoon in the library, working on his thesis. He finally decided it was time to head home when his advisor approved his latest chapter and told him there was only a few more weeks of revisions on the last.

“Kenma! Oi! Did you eat yet?” He called out, kicking his shoes off into the pile near the door. All he got was silence. “Kenma?” Kuroo moved though their tiny apartment in long strides.

The bedroom was void of Kenma’s pillow, chargers and psp. The bathroom lacked the very berry shampoo and conditioner that Kenma has been using for the past three years. On the kitchen counter was a scribbled note on the backside of an old takeout menu.

_Kuro,_

_I have the next few days off work so I’m going to see Shouyou._

_Call me when you figure things out._

_Kenma_

The message was straight to the point. It was so totally Kenma that Kuroo started to cry. Or maybe it wasn’t that it was quintessential Kenma. Maybe it was because his indecision and distance drove Kenma away from him. Or that Kenma so easily ran from him in the first place.

Kuroo dropped face-first into the couch, his legs hanging off one side. Anger was boiling up inside him. They weren’t teenagers anymore. It was childish of Kenma to be so snappish this morning and to leave after essentially _telling_ Kuroo they were on a break. Sure, he wasn’t being a very good…something. But they didn’t have to call off their relationship while he worked through things.

He shoved down a piece of him that worried Kenma called the break and left to be with someone else. It has been weeks since they touched each other. It wouldn’t be unheard of in relationships for someone to call a stop, just so they can get their needs met elsewhere.

It would be unlike Kenma though.

He chanted that fact in his head until the tears stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good golly - I am so sorry for my absence. I have had the worst writers block so this was painful. It's also barely edited/reviewed so sorry for that too...  
> I've got one big chapter left and then I think a cute epilogue. As much as I'd like to continue this journey with you all, I'm spent on ideas and time! So I'll send things while it's still (semi) quality work LOL   
> Next update will wrap things up nicely! I promise! Haha!!


	18. ...Where you let it go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Granny knows gay panic when she sees it.
> 
> This is my final chapter! But I'll post an epilogue or two sometime :)   
> Thank you all so much for everything - I hope you enjoyed the fic!

_It started with a kiss. That one little moment put this whole thing in motion.  
I try to follow script, but I’m diving into your iris like I’m diving in the ocean._

I the Mighty, “Where you let it go”

 

Kuroo hated their apartment without Kenma in it. It was simultaneously too big and too small. Like the walls were pulling farther and farther away when he sat on their couch, but the air was also closing in and suffocating him. It had only been a day and a half, and he was drowning.

The idealist side of him kept boasting about how he didn’t care what other people thought – that he could come out about his relationship, his feelings for Kenma, to anyone. Yet the sad, realist side was louder. Kuroo cared about what other people thought. He didn’t want to be hated. He didn’t want to be looked at like his mother looked at him. Like he was disgusting – barely human.

He wanted to be confident like Kenma. Kenma cared about what other people thought of him, but it was different. Kenma never changed who he was. Kenma’s skin seemed so much thicker than his own. He wasn’t blind to the curious looks he got – he went on with his life and found the ways that he could to blend in without fuss. Kenma was the bravest person Kuroo knew. Lazy, and often lacking in stamina, but brave for putting himself out there.

A loud knock on the front door pulled Kuroo out of his stupor.

He didn’t order any delivery, nor was he expecting mail. He opened the door a crack, letting the chain prevent it from opening all the way. Taketora gave him a sideway glare from the other side.

“What do you want?” Kuroo asked.

“You look like shit.” Tora noted. “Is Kenma around?”

“Why don’t you ask him?” Kuroo snapped. Tora pissed him off. He didn’t get what Kenma could ever see in a guy like this. He looked like a brute, standing in their hallway, probably scaring the nice old lady neighbor with his leather jacket and spiky boots. “You have his number.”

“He’s not answering is line,” Tora raised an eyebrow. “I figured you’d know best anyway.”

Kuroo, forgetting the chain, yanked on the door and nearly smacked himself in the face with it. “The fuck does that mean?”

“Aren’t you two are together?” Tora said instead of asking, smirking. He took a step back and folded his arms across his chest. He took in the change of Kuroo’s expression with glee. “It seriously wasn’t hard to guess. Kenma is pretty easy to read, right? Though maybe he’s only easy for me to read because I’m looking at him.”

Kuroo slammed the door shut, shakily undoing the chain to fling it back open. He stormed forward to get in Tora’s face. “What the fuck do you want?”

Tora twisted his head, scrunching up his face. “Eh? I’m here to check on a dear friend of mine who has suddenly called into work for personal days.” He stepped forward, forcing Kuroo to stumble back to keep the space between them. “I’m good at waiting, but if you’re done with him, throw him away properly.”

Kuroo’s nostrils were flaring as he snarled, grabbing Tora’s jacket and throwing him back as hard as he could. Tora’s back hit the wall with a bang.

Wincing he hissed, “That hurt!” Kuroo let go and took a few steps back toward his apartment. His breathing was heavy. “Tell Kenma his friends are here for him,” Tora said, brushing his jacket.

“Are you threatening me?” Kuroo yelled down the hall at Tora’s retreating back.

“I’m promising you,” Tora called back. “Whenever you are done. I’ll be right here.”

Kuroo slammed the door so loud that his neighbor came to check on him. The little old auntie chastised him for disturbing the peace but brought over a slice of cake to ‘sweeten his bitter temper.’

 

_ _ _

 

Hinata didn’t grow much taller since high school, to his own chagrin. He did seem to settle down in energy; though still contained his own every glowing run that Kenma admired. He was currently training to make the Olympic team for volleyball but made his money by coaching on the side. Kenma had spent the past two days with Hinata and his angry boyfriend, Kageyama. Kenma learned long enough to stop questioning how two people could possible work out romantically yet be so different in temperament. He shouldn’t be one to judge anyone else’s’ relationship, after all.

Kageyama eyed him from the other side of the counter, they shared worried looks as Hinata busied himself cooking breakfast. “How much longer are you saying?” Kageyama asked. Hinata hissed at him from the cabinets.

Kenma shrugged, lowering his gaze.

“Kuroo isn’t actually gay though right?” Kageyama asked like the room wasn’t filling with tension. “Staying away and ignoring his calls is just going to draw out the inevitable.”

“Tobio!” Hinata yelled, scolding his boyfriend. “I’m sorry, Kenma. He doesn’t mean that.”

Kageyama gestured around the room as if it held obvious answers. “Don’t I? Don’t you agree? It’s easy with Hinata and I because we’re the same, but Kuroo isn’t gay and eventually Kozume is going to have to compete with family approval, marriage, kids – normal hetero stuff!” He lowered his head to force Kenma to lock eyes. Kageyama always looked so intense to Kenma, but now he looked concerned…anger still swirling around but not directed at him. He looked mad for him. “It sucks, and we’re here for you, but dragging out your misery isn’t going to help. You’ll just be in pain longer.”

“You don’t know that!” Hinata defended. His frilly pink apron, a gift from his younger sister as a joke, was needed comical relief. “Kuroo loves Kenma! We’ve all known it for years! And I think that makes him at least not totally straight.”

“Labels are useless with the person they are being applied to can’t come to terms with any of them. Kozume is fighting a losing battle against Kuroo’s own insecurity and societal pressure. Instead of pushing your friend into pain, maybe you should be helping him get over a childish crush and find someone who isn’t a scaredy cat.” Kageyama snorted. He threw his arms up in the air before turning to leave. “I’m going for a run,” He snapped before stopping out of the kitchen nook.

Hinata, hands still on his hips, made mocking noises at his boyfriends back. “Honestly! He thinks he’s soooooo smart just because he has a psychology degree! An associate degree doesn’t make you right, Bakayama!” Softly, he turned to pat at Kenma’s head. “Don’t listen to him, Kenma! You and Kuroo will work it out.”

Kenma wrung his hands in his lap, watching Kuroo’s name light up on his phone – as if the conversation itself summoned the devil. He let it run to voicemail first, anxiety squeezed at his throat. The second ring lighting up buzzed across the counter. From his perch at Hinata’s kitchen table, he could see orange hair perk up over the counter.

Hinata started the rice, eyeing Kenma with a knowing look. “You should pick up.” He mused.

Kenma slide the bar over and mumbled a soft _hello_ into the phone. He felt his body was floating as he moved from kitchen to outside patio.

“Good to know your phone works,” Kuroo hummed across the other end. Kenma would picture the smirk that matched his tone. Slightly passive aggressive, but still keeping things teasing and light even with hurt feelings.

“I’m sorry I only left a note,” Kenma replied; mentally patting himself on the back for owning up to his own actions like an adult. His mother would be proud…maybe. “I didn’t know how to explain it. I just needed my own time.”

“Well thank you for the time for both of us,” Kuroo said; tone still teasing. “Come home, Kenma.”

Kenma rolled the phone from one hand to another, switching ears. “Have you thought about us? _Really_ thought about it, Kuro?”

Kuroo was silent on the other end. He wondered if it mattered how he answered the question. “Yes.” He replied.

“Kuro,” Kenma sighed into the phone. “You know I love you right? That I’ve love you for a long time. That for me, it just has to be you?”

He could hear Kuroo swallow; an almost gurgle. The noise he made when he was getting worked up. “I don’t want to break up.” Was the whispered reply.

“I don’t either,” Kenma explained, “But because I love you, I want you to seriously think about this. About your future. About your family and what this means. It’s been hard the past week and I feel like I haven’t really been able to breathe.”

“I don’t want more distance between us.” Kuroo replied, firmly. “I’ve thought about this. About us. Come home, Kitten.” More swallowing gurgle sounds – Kuroo’s throat felt thick and like it was closing on his every word.

“I can be home tonight,” Kenma said. “We can talk about it together.”

 

_ _ _

 

Itsuki Kuroo wasn’t particularly strong or athletic – Tetsurou wasn’t sure where he got his volleyball drive from. He was a slightly round man who enjoyed good food, family, and late night comedy shows. He worked hard, always telling Kuroo that work was important and never leave before his supervisor. He was a man who appreciated respect.

Kuroo sat on the living room floor of his father’s apartment. His grandfather was napping in his bedroom while his grandmother made tea. Itsuki stared down at his son from the couch with worry.

“Tetsu, what’s happened? You rarely come visit, especially out of the blue like this. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” His father’s voice was filled with concern, but soothing. Like he was already telling Kuroo it would be alright.

His throat felt like it was closing. “I met with mom the other week.” He started slowly, as if it would give him more time to gather up his courage. Anxiety was running through his veins like liquid fire. “I told her I was dating Kenma and she…didn’t take it well.” Kuroo looked up to study his father’s face. Itsuki’s expression was neutral, though curious. “I’m in love with Kenma, Dad.”

Itsuki hummed thoughtfully. From the kitchen they could hear the whistle of the kettle and sandwiches being sliced and placed onto cute tea plates. “Yes, I know.” Itsuki answered finally.

“You…know?”

“I’ve always known, Tetsurou.” Itsuki nodded, rubbing his round chin with one hand. “At 12 years old you told your grandparents and I that you were going to marry Kenma one day. It was very cute.”

“Dad,” Kuroo choked on his words. His grandmother waddled into with the tea and snacks. Itsuki’s face lit up at the arrangement of foods on the coffee table.          

Itsuki sipped on the tea in front of them, taking two sandwiches in one big hand. The set was Kuroo’s grandmothers – a delicate pattern on beautiful cups. “Tetsu, I know you live with a lot of internalized pressure to be perfect that you got from you mother. I want to apologize for not shielding you from that better. You should know that I will love you no matter who you are partnered with. It is your mother’s loss if she cannot get past what her atrocious book club thinks. Though please do your best to earn a good living and give your handsome father a cushy retirement.”

Tears welled up in Kuroo’s eyes. Snot dripped from his nose as he cried. he wasn’t sure if he was crying from surprise or relief with his father’s nonchalance. Maybe it was the intense amount of love and acceptance behind his father’s word that did him in. The love that he had been craving from his mother but was always there from his father.

“Itsuki!” His grandmother scolded, rushing as fast as she could to Kuroo’s side and patting his hair smooth. “We talked about this! From that one book about raising a gay son! Sometimes children think it will go much more dramatic and then they need to release all that emotion they had stored up!” She cradled Kuroo’s head to her chest. “Tetsu, sweetheart, let it all out. I’m sorry your father underwhelmed you.”

At almost 27 years old, Kuroo sobbed into his grandmother’s chest like he did when he was 6.

Through snot and tears, Kuroo managed to ask, “Did you seriously read a book about gay kids?”

 

_ _ _

 

Kenma returned to an empty apartment, confused and cold. His bag dropped to the floor as disappointment set in. Kuroo seemed so eager for him to head back tonight, yet he couldn’t be bothered to be here? Clenching his jaw, Kenma stomped his way into the kitchen to start some tea. He didn’t want to be mad before they had the chance to fix their current fight. He was also terrible at being angry.

He always ended up yelling and then crying and then hiding in his room until Kuroo came to make it better.

The whistle of the tea kettle pulled Kenma from his pouting. He set his mug to steep and tiptoed to the bedroom to change. He needed to shower but couldn’t bring himself to do more than pull on fresh sweats. He hesitated to pull Kuroo’s sweatshirt from his bed. What if Kuroo was taking his time coming home because he wanted to go back to being friends? Wouldn’t it be weird to be broken up with while wearing your ex’s sweatshirt?

He just pulled it over his head when the front door clicked and Kuroo slammed the door open. Kenma froze, sweatshirt around his neck and arms struggling to get into the long sleeves. The heavy steps gave him a 20 second warning before Kuroo burst into the bedroom.

“Oi! Kenma!” Kuroo shouted, throwing himself on top of Kenma, tumbling them onto Kuroo’s bed. He rolled them onto their sides, arms wrapped tightly around Kenma. “You beat me home,” He mumbled into the top of Kenma’s head.

Kenma wiggled his fingers; his arms were trapped to his sides by Kuroo. His head was tucked uncomfortably under Kuroo’s chin, so he had to wiggle a bit to lean his head back and look at him. Kuroo’s face was flushed. His eyes were puffy and red. The skin looked dry and chapped.

“You were crying,” Kenma noted softly.

Kuroo ducked his face into Kenma’s neck. “I told my dad.” He murmured against skin. Kenma stiffened in his arms. He waited patiently for Kuroo to continue. “He said he loves me.”

“That’s so good, Kuro.” Kenma’s body relaxed as Kuroo squeezed him hard.

“I’m sorry it took me so long,” He breathed against Kenma’s neck. “Granny says I got gay panic.” He could feel Kuroo’s smirk against his skin.

“What does Granny know about _gay panic_?” Kenma chuckled.

Kuroo rolled so Kenma was laying on top of him instead. “Apparently more than me. I’m sorry, Kenma.” He loosened his hold so Kenma’s arms were free. “If you’ll still have me, I’d like to be with you.”

Kenma lifted his chin to meet Kuroo’s eyes. Hazel warmth swirled, like it was going to consume him from the inside out. The eyes of his best friend since childhood – the eyes of a man who loves him. It wouldn’t be easy to stay together. Being out, to any extent, and being comfortable with yourself takes time. Kenma got through his own coming of age story with Kuroo’s help; he would do the same even if they weren’t together.

“I’d like that too.” He whispered.

“I’ll do better at the things you need from me,” Kuroo promised. “I’ll hold hands in public and everything. Whatever you need.”

Kenma’s heart felt like it was swelling out of his chest. He didn’t know how bad he needed to hear that. “We can take our time. You can take your time.” He promised back. “But I would like that.”

People will stare. Some will ask questions. Some will be abhorrent. Even though he hates people’s attention and feeling self-conscious, Kenma craved the sureness that comes with being able to express love for your partner anywhere.

Kuroo craned his neck awkwardly to lift his head and kiss him. Kenma wrapped his cold fingers around Kuroo’s neck to relax the muscles and bent down over him. He could feel a smirk against his mouth as they kissed, slow. His hand trailed down Kuroo’s stomach, unbuttoning his shirt along the way.

Kenma wigged his hips so he was straddling Kuroo’s, pushing their growing erections together through frustrating fabric. Kuroo’s hand came up to cup his cheek, deepening their kiss. Their tongues lapped together. Kenma was already out of breath and panting as he rocked his hips back and forth.

Kuroo sat up, pulling his shirt the rest of the way off without breaking their kiss. His hands pushed the sweatshirt around Kenma’s waist up to unbutton his hands. He fumbled with the button but managed to unzip. He pulled away, asking, “Can I suck you?”

Kenma nodded, struggling out of his jeans. “You too.”

They laid on their sides; Kuroo yanked on Kenma’s hips to pull his leaking hardon into his mouth. Kenma moaned, silencing himself on Kuroo. Precum flooded his mouth, his tongue licking over the tip. Kuroo pulled him in deep; hot panting breaths between his tights were driving Kenma insane. His legs quivered. Kuroo was taking him all in as if he couldn’t get enough. The wet suction on the underside of his dick was making his toes curl.

He pulled away to moan, “Stop, I’ll cum.”

Kuroo eased up off him with a pop. Kenma’s spine shivered from the cold. “Can I make love to you?”

Kenma snorted a laugh into the blankets. “That was too cheesy.” He said through a shy smile. It was dumb to get caught up on what they called it; but he felt giddy knowing Kuroo thought of it as making love anyway. “I want you,” He answered.

Fingers covered in lube, Kuroo started to work Kenma open. He laid back against the pillows and covered his eyes with his arms. He didn’t want to watch. It felt too raw, and vulnerable. He knew Kuroo has already seen all his weak spots, but this felt different. Kuroo squeezed his cheeks to spread them, stretching his hole.

“Kitten,” Kuroo purred lowly, “I want to see you. Look at me.” Kenma moved his arms to lock eyes as Kuroo inserted another finger. His mouth fell open in a silent moan. “That’s it, Kitten. Let me see your eyes. I want to see all of you.”

He bent down between spread thighs and gave a tender kiss to the inside. Kenma’s tongue poked out as he tried to catch his breath. “Kuro, stop. Cum.” He wasn’t forming full sentences now. The fingers curling inside him and the bites to his legs were shorting out his brain.

Kuroo nodded, sitting back up to align himself. Kenma gazed down to admire Kuroo’s body. His dick was hard and red, leaking droplets of precum down the base. Kuroo groaned as he lubed himself up, squeezing the head. “I love you so much, Kitten,” Kuroo grunted as he pushed in.

Kenma’s eyes rolled back. He was so full. His body felt like it was going to combust at any moment. This felt so much more intense than usual. Maybe it was because he spent so long thinking this was the end. Maybe it was because he felt wanted at a level that he didn’t think was possible.

Kuroo gave him a moment to relax around him. He leaned forward to rest on one arm while the other rubbed small circles in Kenma’s back. “What’s wrong, Kitten?” Kuroo cooed above him.

He wiped his eyes free of tears. He didn’t even realize he started to cry. “I love you,” He moaned through sobs. “I really love you, Kuro.”

The expression of worry was replaced with a sly grin. Kuroo grabbed his hand to kiss as he started to thrust in and out. Soft sobs were replaced with moans and panting. He wrapped his legs around Kuroo’s waist tightly. Their body working together to send them over the edge.

Kuroo was flushed, his breathing starting to come out in sporadic puffs now. “Where should I come?” He grunted as if he was trying to hold on.

Kenma was so close and the thought of Kuroo filling him was sending him over quickly. “Inside. Cum.” He chanted, “In me. Cum, Kuroo.”

Kuroo made a hissing sound like he gave up trying to hold himself back. He mumbled _fuck_ under his breath before letting out a long groan of release. Kenma could feel Kuroo twitch inside him. He clenched down as he climaxed, thinking of how good it feels to be filled with Kuroo.

Kuroo pulled out, clenching Kenma’s cheeks to watch his own mess dribble out. “Fuck, that is so hot.” He said to himself.

Kenma’s skin was bright red as he laid, a panting mess on the bed. “I can’t move.” He finally found his voice, coming down from the high.

“I’m so hungry.” Kuroo laughed, moving to snuggle in close. “Want pie and Mario Kart?”

“Ugh,” Kenma snorted, wiping his face. Too many emotions in one hour. He wanted a shower before anything. “Yes.”

Kuroo wrapped his arms around Kenma, kissing his shoulder. “I’ll get up soon. Then I’ll head to the store and tell the nice aunties we’re boyfriends. Then I’ll kick your ass in Mario Kart.”

Kenma wanted to point out that he doesn’t have to overcompensate by telling everyone right away, but he kept quiet. Instead, he turned his head to memorize Kuroo’s strong jawline, his happy grin, and sparkling eyes in this moment.

“There is no way that you’d kick my ass in any game.” He replied after a minute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Best wishes this holiday season - I hope you all get what you want this year (new season for Haikyuu!!)

**Author's Note:**

> Kudo or comment if you enjoyed what's here, but know it's okay to be a lurker if that's more your style. No pressure.


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